>>75611
There's more to being (and not being) a chan than being a kusaba- based imageboard with the archaic term "chan" in its name.

What does it mean to be a chan?

No true Scotschan

>>75637
It means being the kind of site which welcomes shitheads like OP.

>>75603
I know, It's a super secret club, and if you mention anything other than 500chan, you're in for one heck of a witty red sentence!

(HERE'S A RED SENTENCE FOR YOU YOU DUMB POO FACE BITCH I HOPE YOU RED THIS RED SENTENCE WHEN YOU RECEIVED YOUR SENTENCE BITCH))

>>75598
I knew my mdma business was failing for a reason. I lost all of my profit whittling them down with a pocket knife.

thanks obama

How long do you think it will be until we can buy former president Obama's branded cereal Obam-Os?

>>75658
It's been years and we don't have george bush o's :(

>>75658
https://www.airbnb.com/obamaos

That already exists.

99, you always make me realize what a snot nosed douchebag I hellza am. Thank you all.

>>75562
ok

>>75543
I know, that's exactly what I'm saying.

>>75529
You're actually right:
>>in the latter style and prefer to revert
>Say "in the latter style but prefer" or else you're saying that your "expertise" is part of why you don't type with expertise. Point of fact: If you were expert, that expertise would come without effort.
If I'm saying I'm typing with relaxed rigour because I've transcended its bounds then I shouldn't be using the word "revert." I'm saying I'm NOT reverting to a childish mode of speech but rather am displaying consummate maturity in my more cavalier style, so revert is the wrong word. The fact that I said revert gives away my own self doubt.

>>75537

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>75604
We prefer the term Shittery

>>75604

>>75604
>If I'm saying I'm typing with relaxed rigour because I've transcended its bounds then I shouldn't be using the word "revert." I'm saying I'm NOT reverting to a childish mode of speech but rather am displaying consummate maturity in my more cavalier style, so revert is the wrong word. The fact that I said revert gives away my own self doubt.
What are you even

You are insane

Stop now or your next ban will have as many hours as your previous one had minutes.

>>75586
How is it harmless? You already triggered poor >>75583, you racist.

>they don't actually go out and commit crimes very often
Oh, never mind. They only do it sometimes, so it's ok. So by applying the same rules and the 14th Amendment to everyone else, it must be ok for white guys to do the same! Thanks for clearing that up! :D

>>75588
Due process is a brutal weapon the patriarchy wields to revictimize innocent women.

We need to listen and believe women when they say that someone raped them.

>>75588
ballza point. The majority of crimes in the US are committed by blacks and latinos. Blacks are the worst offenders.

Most religious hate crimes in America are committed against Jews (followed by muslims), so I guess that makes it okay for American Jews to say kill all Muslims and for American Muslims to say all Atheists should burn in hell.

>>75588
I say very often because I'm too lazy to do the research, but I'd put money that the number of transgender-on-cis murders is hovering around zero. Even a single example of one of these armchair revolutionaries on Twitter actually doing anything violent or murderous is likely difficult to find.

>>75590
Taking a person seriously when she says she's been raped rather than going out of our way to find an excuse as to why it's all his/her fault would be nice. Due process can only work if the system gives a shit. Anyone who has ever had a break-in can tell you the police care more about revenue generation for the state rather than investigating crimes.

>>75591
The majority of those violent crimes are committed against other blacks/latinos, but some bitching about blacks is at least understandable. The incessant bawling about Twitter SJWs is simply the result of never-ending internet culture wars between millennial "libertarians" with no sense of history and millennial "feminists" with no sense of communication or tact.

>>75593
Even if they did, there would be little reason to fear a tiny minority group. People saying such and such majority group should die isn't hellza ballza, no, but personally I'm more worried about millions of whites who want to round up all der illegls cuz dey took err jerbs. Because they have the power to actually, you know, DO that, compared to antisocial randos on Twitter trying so desperately to prove that they are One of the ballza Ones™ and outdo the other tryhards in their echo chambers.

I'd like to think that many of us who started out that way thwarted that fate, to where we may not exactly be what others consider normal but well adjusted enough to at least hold down a place to live and if we are lucky have some form of companionship and comfort.

That said I also believe that the ones who didn't manage to adjust have one of two fates, ones who end up getting coddled and have parental/monetary support and ones who don't. The few people I happen to know that did have support usually became cause oriented anonymous/tumblr types or find online communities to hold power over.

The ones that didn't generally end up going in and out of jail or homeless with the legal system taking care of them.

>>75486
Yeah I've kinda followed this template so far, I'm 22 now. I got out of highschool and spent a year doing nothing but drinking and watching tv (I chose this over going to Europe, I don't regret it in the slightest). Then took some university courses and somehow got a ballza union job. I mean I didn't work much, and didn't take my courses seriously, I was mostly a shut-in alcoholic. When I turned 21 I did actually start to get serious though. I Decided on a degree and started plowing through it, still while drinking heavily. And in fact I became more of a shut-in, because I do all my courses online now. Still, I have direction and purpose, so I'm hopeful I won't be a huge failure. I do still live with my parents.

Also I know one guy in the 30+ area that doesn't fit into either the homeless or tumblr fag category. I don't know his story, just that he was a shut-in most of his life and along the way developed a severe anxiety disorder. He lives in a small shithole apartment that he can afford because of disability support payments he gets. He's too poor to afford internet now so every few weeks his need for internet overcomes his crippling fear of people and he goes to the library for an hour or two. He leads an unfortunate life. He is not a happy man as far as I can tell.

Ask me in 3 years, so far? Man, fuck this shit.

Intensification of fetishes?

Especially in an age where Internet access is relatively easy (even for >>75494 's buddy who can sometimes go to the library), it's easy to explore all sorts of subcultural rabbit holes, especially when you're separating yourself from the reality around you.

That is the gamble a shut-in takes: when they do get forced out into the "real world" they might be able to deeply connect with random strangers over relatively uncommon shared interests, but they're just as likely to be disconnected from everyone for liking weird shit that no one else around them likes. It makes the difference between appearing deep and thoughtful vs. dull and awkward.

most people in school are nerdy white guys in their late teens/early twenties

USER SMOKED CRACK WITH THIS BITCH

>>75551
http://www.edweek.org/ew/projects/changing-demographics.html

>This school year, America's schools are projected to reach a demographic milestone: For the first time, a majority of students in K-12 schools will be children of color

http://www.usnews.com/news/college-of-tomorrow/articles/2014/09/22/college-of-tomorrow-the-changing-demographics-of-the-student-body

>The gender gap is widening, too, with women now making up about 57 percent of all college students

Actually, more of them are asian. Gonna see if I can find the numbers.

wait wait wait

hold up

sweden has a king?

>>75553
Thank God I'm finished with that stuff.

>>75085
My heart belongs to tsunderplane.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/598155

http://store.steampowered.com/app/335670/

http://www.vice.com/read/subterfuge-shows-us-that-some-games-should-never-be-played-with-friends-730

This seems hellza cool for a mobile game.

http://offgame.wikia.com/wiki/OFF_Wiki

this is rly ballza

RUSHEN TRED

Нееет

>>75477
The Iron Giant is one of my favourite animated movies evah.

Asked Russian friend what your post meant, and he shit-talked your use of Russian characters to spell out the word boards. So what's up with that? You learning Russian or something?

You mean like $600 for rent, right? Because they had better be fucking amazing "free blowjob" kind of condos for 600k.

>>75459
It was a subtle exaggeration for satire's sake. Tons of developments are going up with small (but still expensive) condos marketed toward young professionals.

>>75467
And I don't actually think that a condo will come with blowjobs. I know how things are going in my area.

>>75470
If you're on the cutting edge of gentrification, then you can move into your new condo in the soon-to-be-not-shitty part of town and get a $40 bj from the street girl and/or Chinese rub-n-tug downstairs.

In brussels, it is possible to take a bus to Wiener.

>>75453
That Garfield post is old, it's an actual question from yahoo answers. There were some hellza insane Archie fans linked on portalofevil eons ago, wish I'd saved some of that shit.

From archiefans : "My brother came over & we got pizza for lunch. It was a Sun shower. We had run home because I didn't have raincoat. My power chair can't get wet. I got Sweating To The Oldies #5 from Amazon. I'm watching it before I do it tomorrow. I'm getting that Jughead too that Hot Dog."

"I'M GETTING THAT JUGHEAD TOO THAT HOTDOG"

>>75430
Jughead is completely gay in that picture. Just look at his face. He's planning something and poor Archie is clueless.

>>75464
IDK Archie himself had to beat off 5 guys one time

>>75465
And he took a bullet for a gay senator. What a sloth.

>>75388
Then Gerard Butler shaved his chest and put on a diaper and a cape and fought Xerxes' army of giants.

>>75380
No, definitely not. Orthodox Christianity was a large part of the culture and daily lives of Russians and East Slavs for more than a millennium, something so deeply ingrained doesn't disappear with just a few decades of state atheism. The influence of the uniquely Orthodox culture of iconoclasty can even be seen in some old Soviet propaganda images. Even the supposed atheists from KPSU likely had their thinking and logical biases influenced by religious education they received as children before the revolution. Of course there was a desire of the state to create an impression of "us vs them" among the Soviet people, contrasting those in the decadent west as weak, degenerate homosexuals compared to the noble Soviet proletariat of strong mind and body who has no time for such things.

It is interesting that you mention the same homophobia going on in the modern Russia, the reasoning behind it being much the same as the Soviet one, to try to create a group mentality. Russian homosexuals make a convenient scapegoat and are attempted to be painted as "subversive agents". It doesn't help that many of the agitators in Russia for homosexual rights are indeed western NGOs, or that gays tend to be more liberal compared to the prevailing conservative climate in Russia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etoro_people

>The Etoro, or Edolo, are a tribe and ethnic group of Papua New Guinea. Their territory comprises the southern slopes of Mt. Sisa, along the southern edge of the central mountain range of New Guinea, near the Papuan Plateau. They are well known among anthropologists because of ritual homosexual acts practised between the young boys and men of the tribe. The Etoro believe that young boys must ingest the semen of their elders daily from the age of 7 until they turn 17 to achieve adult male status and to properly mature and grow strong.

>>75440
Christ.

Then there's how there are pockets of pederasty all throughout Afghanistan.

Acknowledging that there are some historical and regional differences in acceptable sexual behavior isn't the same as assuming that there were pride parades everywhere until followers of the dune coon deities Yahweh, Jesus, and Allah ruined the fun.

bumps m8s

I made the superhero one and the apocalypse one. I'm very flattered that you still remember those and are searching for them but I'm pretty certain they are gone forever. Xtranormal had a handy semi-automated upload to Youtube function that I unfortunately never took advantage of and so my account and its videos are lost.

Fortunately, the guy who made what I think were the funniest videos in those threads backed up three out of the many he made to youtube (I think his xtranormal username was MilkMachine). My personal favourites are Half Downs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO2jwFLlAgQ) and this one about trade agreements which is very timely these days what with the TPP controversy and such https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvYLG6wCzGA

I laughed myself to tears when I first saw both of these and I wish he had backed up more of his creations.

May Love guide your soul, with Jesus in your heart, as I thank you for allowing me to post.

>>75259
Both were great, but I'll never be in stitches as when I saw that superhero one, a shame so many of them are lost forever. Here's to the ballza old days, and to yourself.

>>75428
You're making me blush :3 So glad you enjoyed it.

You can smell poo sometimes when you just do regular behind sex

>>75394
Yeah doggystyle sends sweaty butthole whiffs up to tickle and delight your nostrils (girls butts smell pretty ballza)

The scent of a womans ass is one of the finer things in life. It is an exquisite, heady aroma that must be taken in with a Flieschmanns response. I have been granted the pleasure to savor the olfactory anal auras of no less than 4 different females and will explain each fragrance in detail.

1.Dragon Lady at the rub and tug.
Overall experience rating= Make a blind man see, then ask him to tell a blind buddy about color.
She smelt like she tasted, tangy, earthy and savory. It was exotic and erotic in a combination that overwhelmed my young senses.

2.A fiery Latina at a different rub and tug. She giggled like a school girl when I mashed my face betwixt her cheeks and inhaled for at least 12 glorious seconds. She smelt like she tasted, meaty, hearty and full bodied. I promised her I would see her again but I never did, they closed that one down, but I still could have tried.

3.A sassy stripper who I tried to turn into a housewife. She smelled like some sort of wonderful muffin, hot from the oven and delicious. Why I paid her 20 to let her NOT let me touch her butthole is another matter entirely.

4.A voluptuous vixen at a strip club who noticed my penchant for her oversized derriere right off. She teased me in a way that caused my mouth to water and made me kiss each cheek, then graced me with the pleasure to plant one more upon her asshole itself. I can't even recall what she smelt like, for the experience was beyond my grasp.

Try it!

>>75433
What an exquisite life you lead, smelling the asses of minority sex workers and strippers alike. They should make you the new spokesman for Dos Equis.

>>75083
A site that seems to be devoted to pedophiles posting pictures of underage girls, last time I checked.

>>75087
Well then no shit it's inactive, looking for that stuff on the surface web is retarded.

>>75088

I remember going there for shits and giggles twice, either before knowing what they were actually hosting or before the CP was posted en masse.

Most of the boards are thankfully clean, but dead. Similar to the thousands of 8chan boards with one or two posts. I think the entire premise was to not have the ability to delete ANYTHING all in the name of free speech. As you can imagine it was fairly disastrous even before the pedos flocked to it.

As a side note, Ive had to stop going to several other relatively inactive imageboards because half of em don't clean up after these assholes. At least 99 keeps it real.

>>75099
I got upset with 8chan because I had heard it was supposed to be a place to talk about anything without censorship, but, as such, that's a two way street. I found some boards about Asatru/Odinism/Norse Neo-Paganism and it ended up just being a bunch of edgy people talking about how much they hate blacks.

>>75123
basing your imageboard on the premise of no censorship is just asking for everything to turn to shit

you do that and you end up with nothing but racism and jailbait boards

the 99chan way is better because it embraces the cold, curating hand of the mod to guide the development of the board

>>75223
Well, actually, also literally in this case. I should have never added anyone from here on facebook.

>>75224

The incest analogy is a fairly accurate, both figuratively and literally. Does no one remember mom BJ guy?

>>75227
The only person who comes to mind is the guy who audio recorded the time he got his mom to give him a blowjob. It's still floating around out there.

Incidentally I have fantasized about my mom giving me a blowjob but would never act on it.

>>75227
I do but I forget the specifics. What was the story behind it again? He was going abroad and wanted to have a BJ before he left so he kept trying to convince her to do it? Remember when we made those animated cartoons on Xtranormal? I did one about that guy.

My favorite was the one about submarines. It's too bad that sight is gone now. I had it bookmarked and was sad to find they're all gone.

>>75250
ok potato man c u later bye-bye baby

Na, looks gay for pay at best.

[X]Yes [ ]No

I'd let him do homosex to me if that's what you're asking. He seems like a generous lover, but with a wild streak, not afraid to take you like a farm boy might take a pig out in the sty, but with that refined latin passion, then pour you a glass of fine anejo tequila to help you sleep.

No, he doesn't look very ancient greek.

He would probably release the hounds.

>>75012
To be fair, that can happen to anyone of us. That's why it's important to have adequately scary costumes.

To scare the dwarfs away.

I think a lot of celebrities tend to live in houses with gates or even in gated communities or subdivisions so the only trick or treaters they'd be getting anyway are the children of other famous and/or very rich people who live in their upperclass gated development.

That's assuming by "celebrities" you mean the sort of stereotypical Hollywood A and B listers. There are tons of famous musicians and so on who don't have much or any money but are well known. Like, I'm sure you could be trick-or-treating in Baltimore and knock on the door of one of the dudes from Animal Collective or something

I also feel like Stephen Colbert has a blast on Halloween and loves giving out candy.

you'd get fat

>>75234
Too late bitch I'm already fat

#haas #dealwithit #lovemybody #bodypositivity #fatgirlarmy

Is this copypasta?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/3b2zdy/stuck_in_russia_need_financial_help_please_i_beg/

http://sheekyforums.com/thread/646179526/miscellaneous/hi-sheeky-forums.html

http://gogetfunding.com/stuck-in-russia-facing-deportation-and-death/

You should go on IRC.

plz help i am stuck in russia plz paypal me money i am stuck in russia no scam

Apply for a visa to stay in Russia. Or live illegally in Russia. I know lots of people who are in Canada illegally and it's pretty easy, I suspect Russia has a much larger underground economy too. Just find work that will pay under the table and pay your rent in cash.

>I'm a Syrian programmer and I fled the war to Moscow, Russia where I'm at right now.

That's your own dumbass fault for not going to Sweden or Germany instead and getting a free government issued apartment and white woman.

>>75282
Well sir you need to go buy some canadian maple syrup 'cause lemme tell ya there ain't nothing like it. Also, french canadians are dheads.

>>75283
No thanks if I want the "real Canadian maple syrup" experience I'll just set a pile of money on fire and piss it out, y'all niggas charge more for that shit than for crude oil.

>>75286
Because it's way better than crude oil!

American maple syrup tastes like shit, you haven't lived until you've eaten some french crepes covered in canadian maple syrup. Fuck pancakes, crepes are where it's at.

>>75286
At least you've tried poutine, right? Go eat some poutine. There's nothing like well made poutine.

>>75288
I've been eating a vegan diet for about 7 months. Poutine is the one thing I hellza miss and periodically crave. I think I might take a step back after the one year mark and treat myself to a monthly poutine or something along those lines.