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File 140410241787.gif - (1.90MB , 320x240 , a thought.gif )
63555 No. 63555 hide quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
I need a place where I can put all of the facebook statuses I want to post but never could.

Here's one: Sometimes I have wet dreams about raping corpses.
353 posts and 94 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74109
>> 74108
I'd play Resident Ebola or Silent Ill if you want to be extra fuel make it a Left 4 Dead game
>> No. 74111
Did mainstream people know about homosexuality before the aids epidemic hit?
>> No. 74112
>>74111
no

as a matter of fact, a man had never even kissed a man before 1979
>> No. 74115
File 143824366933.jpg - (193.97KB , 1024x768 , whiteface.jpg )
74115
In Mozambique, basketball americans wear whiteface.
>> No. 74117
File 143824417145.jpg - (129.33KB , 337x507 , blackhair.jpg )
74117
Sometimes I am jealous that black lolis are the only ones who can get away with having hair like this. I would genuinely enjoy having a plastic alphabet soup attached to my head. I ain't being ironic here-- I love alphabet soup.


File cheeky_loli.webm - (6.97MB , cheeky loli.webm )
74077 No. 74077 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
how about a webbum thread
11 posts and 10 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74099
File tw.webm - (5.57MB )
74099
rude
>> No. 74105
File neo_narkoman.webm - (5.94MB )
74105
rude
>> No. 74106
File apple_ackbar.webm - (1.61MB )
74106
rude
>> No. 74107
File bannerpatriarchy.webm - (2.50MB )
74107
rude
>> No. 74114
File 1431346003203.webm - (2.32MB )
74114
rude


File 143508459248.jpg - (24.37KB , 367x479 , opxcYEX.jpg )
73426 No. 73426 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I'm pretty sure most of you think you're rather clever.

Are that any that acknowledge how well below average they are? I'm pretty thick, I'm borderline retarded.
19 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73539
>>73536
also Maurice Tillet was just a normal French guy of decent intelligence who happened to develop acromegaly. He was basically Andre the Giant before there was Andre the Giant.
>> No. 73821
>>73469
Give this ballza sir a reward as he perfectly describes how modern society works. The meritocracy doesn't care how intelligent you are, its how much you can get done. A broken depressed intellectual is about as effective as the local autistic.
>> No. 73859
>>73821
I'd say you're half-right, except that it's less a meritocracy and more whom you know and how rich are your parents.
>> No. 74098
When I first star postering on the chars. First I thought well these people is smart. I want to be smart like them. But then I saw that no they are stupid people. Stupid people. Not very smart. No.
>> No. 74113
>>74098
I think you mean "whom are smart"


File 143683801455.jpg - (20.14KB , 236x234 , dick bag.jpg )
73903 No. 73903 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Are police officers allowed to go through red lights without flashing their sirens? I don't hellza mind that they can break traffic laws for no particular reason but doing it without putting on the sirens is potentially dangerous. I was waiting at a red light behind a cop and this dude just blew through with no warning. While it wasn't a particularly dangerous intersection, it seems like not putting the lights on should be at the very least a breach of protocol. hellza, it should be illegal, considering they have such freedom of decision of when to break a traffic law. I was tempted to go through right after him- since no one could tell beforehand what we were doing other than noticing that he was a police car, is there any difference in dangerousness between the two actions? His car wasn't even a regular patrol car, it was a little chevy impala or something from the Sherrif. It looked like the police markings could have been just some awesome new decals your coke dealer got.

Come to think of it, a lot of cops shit do is not hellza justifiable or safe. I'm not even talking about police brutality. There's overreaches everywhere. Is there any ballza reason police should be able to park in the tow zones to get lunch other than that it's a popular "cop spot?" It creates a definite cop culture that serves to continually reinforce the idea that cops are somehow better than other people in their moral decision making, something that's not afforded in the same way to any other profession outside the military. Frankly it can both attract and lead to a kind of hyperviolent megelomania. Do you know how many statistical studies on domestic violence in cop families you will ever hear? None, that shit will never get funded or reported. Wherever there are closed doors in a society virtually anything can be kept behind them.

hellza I am generally more of a pro-state, pro-police, even pro-military guy. My grandfather was in the military, and I would have been proud to serve as a pilot like him in world war 2. But today it is my opinion that, from a purely military standpoint, there is no war in the world from which the United States could not withdraw nearly unscathed. People are killed for political reasons now, not out of military necessity. I find that disgusting.

What do you fag-gots think
27 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74067
every irish american asshole i know loves to ramble about ireland
>> No. 74092
>>74067
Rambling and knowing what the hell you're talking about are two different things.

You could probably easily be more Irish than they are by getting the complete Father Ted DVD set or learning how to blow through a few reels on a pennywhistle.
>> No. 74095
File 143804471479.jpg - (5.52KB , 272x185 , casement.jpg )
74095
>>74092
I can already out-Irish any person of Irish descent I've encountered in North America because I have a man-crush on Roger Casement.
>> No. 74097
how i into irish heritage?

t.:irish-enthusiast*

*not actually of irish descent
>> No. 74110
File 14381987369.jpg - (98.16KB , 1000x500 , ulster-banner_1000[1].jpg )
74110
>>74097
Have you tried invading Ireland and brutally subjugating everyone until you give six counties' worth of people Stockholm syndrome?


File 143681771420.gif - (1.48MB , 226x365 , al02.gif )
73891 No. 73891 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Remember that gif of a girl in the shower who winks at the camera?
14 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74054
File 143770027710.jpg - (153.94KB , 532x407 , ross-fake-tan_3043765a.jpg )
74054
remember that friends episode where ross gets a spray tan?
>> No. 74056
File 143770715188.jpg - (2.26MB , 1800x2250 , 84fb4d1f3f82447136b90437d3667e18.jpg )
74056
>>74054
I never watched Friends because my friends said it was a gay show, and your entire middle school life is trying to stop yourself from looking gay. One of them was a hellza handsy motherhooligan who would feel up all the boys any chance he got, in the name of "rough housing". He joined the football squad because he liked the handling, I think. That boy was me. I'm pretty gay now.
>> No. 74058
File 143771470753.jpg - (46.42KB , 416x423 , bhaal.jpg )
74058
>>74056
Cool bro. Wanna come over and build a pillow fort in my basement? Afterwords we can JO and watch some 90s anime. Maybe commit ritual suicide on my alter to bhaal. Totally cool.
>> No. 74059
>>74056
Why didn't you join the wrestling team?
>> No. 74064
>>74059
Even middle schoolers with only a faint idea of what being "gay" actually means think wrestling is too gay. Also my school didn't have a wrestling team.


File 143646423614.jpg - (29.38KB , 400x240 , road.jpg )
73812 No. 73812 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Since we don't have a /v/, let's have a videogame thread. What videogames are you playing, 99chan? Right now I am pretty obsessed with making my animal crossing roads aesthetically pleasing.
28 posts and 10 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74049
>>74044
Can someone explain this joke to non-nerds?
>> No. 74050
>>74049
If you convert each element to it's symbol on the periodic table, it spells out "fuck bitches get money".
>> No. 74051
>>74049
You're on an imageboard. Where are you going to find non-nerds?
>> No. 74052
>>74044
There's no way Jessica Lee would say that, she is far too Asian to fuck anything.
>> No. 74055
>>74052
Obviously she meant octopus bitches.


File 143690051431.jpg - (74.88KB , 589x442 , fiddy.jpg )
73918 No. 73918 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
http://www.vice.com/read/curtis-jackson-is-going-bankrupt-so-50-cent-is-now-his-net-worth-vgtrn-015

50 cents is bankrupt
8 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74029
>>73919
but rappers prefer to shoot each other with Glocks, which aren't made by Colt
>> No. 74038
>>74027
Thank God someone understands this here. He could have nonliquid business interests worth 114.5 million dollars, but only $500,000 in cash. If a $5 million payment comes due at that time, he can file for bankruptcy in order to try to protect the majority of his assets. My guess is that's what's happening here.
>> No. 74039
i understand accounting
>> No. 74047
>>74039
ballza for you. This is a fincance thread, though.
>> No. 74053
i understand finance


File 143641385990.jpg - (92.22KB , 383x750 , tumblr_m7dmnta7tL1royhc0o1_500.jpg )
73800 No. 73800 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I remember for the longest time if you typed 99chan into Google images the first result would be a picture of a skinny teenage boy wrapped in videogame cables with like a NES on his chest and shoving the controller up his ass.

I did some digging and the site is still there albeit this time with what appears to be some sort of gay raver.

http://cymbalo.rssing.com/chan-1200163/all_p1.html

it appears to have been abandoned some time last year.
5 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73824
>>73820
No you didn't I did.

Then I banned you.

Then I fucked your mom.
>> No. 74026
>>73824

Wait, were you any one of the players on the 1978 Meadowdale High School football team?

Because if you are you might be my daddy.
>> No. 74030
>>74026
http://www.classmates.com/yearbooks/Meadowdale-High-School/211323

which one of these is your dad
>> No. 74037
>>74030
Basically, all of them :(
>> No. 74040
>>74037
Many crimes are committed by fatherless black men. I am assuming you are white. Plus you have like 30 dads. So you are very lucky because you will never go to jail ever, what with all that white skin and al those dads


File 143734464812.jpg - (607.67KB , 1024x552 , descendants.jpg )
73987 No. 73987 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Descendants

I think it's fucked up that kids should be punished for their parent's crimes. Doesn't growing up on an island riddled with criminals make them more likely to become criminals as well?

Thoughts?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 74010
File 143741978558.jpg - (135.76KB , 888x456 , disney-descendants-trailer-888x456.jpg )
74010
WHY IS CRUELLA BLACK
>> No. 74011
I think it would be a lot better as an animation. This just looks stupid.
>> No. 74020
>>73990
>they seem to be doing alright.
Didn't they just ban solar panels or something
>> No. 74021
>>73990
Well, their economy is in ballza shape, but they did grow up to become Australian.
>> No. 74023
>>74021
we cawl m8s cunt n cunts m8


File 143651450579.jpg - (75.18KB , 847x480 , shot0051.jpg )
73829 No. 73829 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Does anime turn people gay?
11 posts and 6 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73929
>>73926
I can't say I'm hellza an expert on the nomenclature but I think there is a real difference between traditional beads and whatever you wanna call that, if it doesn't have it's own name then it should.
>> No. 73930
>>73929

Let me propose official terminology:

Beads on a string will heretofore be referred to as "anal beads not on a solid dildo-like thing that are hard to clean".

Beads not a string will heretofore be referred to as "anal beads not on a string thing that are easy to clean".
>> No. 73933
How do ropes trap HIV? Does HIV survive particularly well on ropes?
>> No. 73938
>>73933
HIV was just an example, but many bacteria and viruses can get stuck in ropes and washing them completely clean is damn near impossible. That's why safe sex promoters tell you to use a condom with anal beads that you plan to share.
>> No. 74022
>>73933
Fibrous material


File 14287274372.jpg - (399.69KB , 1634x1675 , never enough madonna and child.jpg )
72010 No. 72010 hide quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
I am a qualified world religion expert. If you have a question about religion, then ask me and I'll explain it in a way you fucking simpletons can understand.
361 posts and 66 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73960
File 14370986474.jpg - (46.06KB , 479x269 , globalwarmingproof.jpg )
73960
>>73958
It's not unheard of to see Traditionalist Catholic girls and women wearing a mantilla to mass even today.

Your explanation for fewer hats and shorter skirts reminds me of this old picture.
>> No. 73962
>>73958
>>73960
The media who criticizes the lamestream media will never report on this crushing scientific evidence. I'm going to take these findings to the actor who played the main character in Weird Science to see if he can come up with a popcorn-based solution.
>> No. 74001
>>73962

You're thinking of Real Genius, with Val Kilmer.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089886/?ref_=nv_sr_1
>> No. 74007
>>73957
That's because in the middle east headscarves are more of a practical clothing item than they are a religious one. In hot and dry climates like the middle east, sweat evaporates very quickly and cools the body down efficiently enough, provided one keeps their skin out of the harsh sun. This is usually done by wearing clothes made from light colored and breathable fabrics which allow sweat to evaporate and which also disperse the heat from the sun.

In more humid climates though, what happens is that sweat just soaks into the cloth without evaporating and makes everything sticky and uncomfortable.
>> No. 74012
>>74007

Must suck to be Malaysian, then.

I wonder, with the Arabs exporting oil, thus raising global temperatures, isn't this essentially a type of climate engineering? Aren't Arabs better adapted to survive hot and dry climates?

I bet if the issue were couched in these colors, the evangelicals might hold in their farts for once.


File 143682867673.jpg - (29.20KB , 449x536 , trefology.jpg )
73899 No. 73899 hide quickreply [Reply]
If life is so meaningless, why do we have these tasty apples?
>> No. 73963
File 143711424138.jpg - (437.57KB , 1024x682 , knowlege.jpg )
73963
>>73899
You have forsaken your blissful ignorance by partaking of the apple. The knowledge it imparts now weighs heavy on your ill-equipped mortal mind which will now know no peace until your eternal slumber.
>> No. 73964
>>73963
>now know no

you can go fuck yourself
>> No. 73966
>>73964
I thought we weren't allowed to be mean to homophones and their allies now that they can get married.
>> No. 73967
When life hands you walnuts you throw them out the window. Caspere knew that.
>> No. 74000
>>73964

This post has been cracking me up for weeks now. God bless you, >>73964, you magnificent bastard.


File 142925477260.png - (144.54KB , 500x596 , 420chann.png )
72129 No. 72129 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Can we crash here for a while?
17 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 72858
>>72801
Yeah, only three times is so 2010.
>> No. 73680
File 143573495482.jpg - (60.22KB , 604x604 , YH3KPpk.jpg )
73680
420chans down again, Kirt opened his anus and broke his computer.
>> No. 73911
http://www.vice.com/read/birds-are-using-ant-excretion-to-get-high-876

Is it possible for humans to get high by rubbing ants on themselves? Could some money be made by selling small bottles of ant purée to druggies on silk road?
>> No. 73922
>>73911

Only if it's illegal. 90% of demand for drugs is price inflation caused by illegality. That's why weed is so cheap these days.

Only Obama could lower both weed and gas prices, but be castigated by supply-siders at every opportunity.
>> No. 73923
Er, restatement. 90% of the price is due to inflation caused by supply shocks to an inelastic demand curve, since there is no way to eliminate demand, the only possible change is a change in price, which goes upward.


File 143548124677.png - (0.98MB , 938x466 , housese.png )
73588 No. 73588 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
http://ktla.com/2015/06/25/terrifying-letters-from-the-watcher-force-family-to-flee-1-3m-dream-home/

You have purchased your million dollar dream home. A man calling himself "the watcher" begins to send you threatening letters letting you know that he is watching you. What would you do in this situation?

I think I'd leave a friendly note on the door inviting the watcher to have some tea so we could talk things out.
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73637
i would murder some cunt in my home and see if the watcher still watches
>> No. 73646
>>73632

Take their couchsurfing ad and using it as a casting couch for the co-eds. They never explicitly told us not to...
>> No. 73675
File 143573104486.jpg - (211.58KB , 750x561 , mickeymousewallpaper.jpg )
73675
I honestly wish something like this would happen to me. I would have so much fun stalking the watcher and trying to figure out his identity. I'd leave messages to him on my door, I'd leave little cakes outside for him and I'd invite him to 99chan.

In the messages to the family, the watcher makes it seem like he doesn't want the house to be altered in any way. Maybe I'd change the wallpaper to something hellza tacky just to see how he would react.

Of course I'd get a gun and install some cameras in case he turned out to be dangerous. I get the impression he's just some guy trying to be creepy, though.
>> No. 73725
File 14358920416.jpg - (220.81KB , 910x607 , 20010606-voeten-mw05-019-910.jpg )
73725
Hire Kamajors to guard my house.
>> No. 73917
bump this on every stereo in the house 24/7

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ezWOEiLF8


File 143474177632.jpg - (63.65KB , 636x347 , birdhead.jpg )
73335 No. 73335 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
99chan, what would you do if your son was at home crying alone on the bedroom floor because he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money and his daddy's gone somewhere smoking rock now in and out of lockdown I ain't got a job now so for you this is just a ballza time but for me this is what I call life, mm?
18 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73825
The one near me doesn't have groceries but there's one by my work (about a 20 min bike ride away) that I pick stuff up from sometimes. No produce, but sometimes they have V8 drinks on for 2/$1.25. Back when I ate fish I would also buy not-terrible canned tuna from there too.
>> No. 73852
I'm glad I don't have your life, that's what i would do hope this helps.
>> No. 73853
>>73825
*not-terrible canned tuna*
what is this sorcery? next you'll tell me there you've found mercury-free canned tuna
>> No. 73893
>>73853
I don't eat fish any more for a number of reasons.
>> No. 73897
File potato.webm - (2.04MB )
73897
rude


File 142742690890.png - (656.39KB , 898x610 , catfacts.png )
71864 No. 71864 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Do you know of any cool .onion links? Nothing illegal, please.

Here is one about neat cat facts.

http://2v7ibl5u4pbemwiz.onion/index.php
38 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73578
  I keep reading stuff about Mozart ingesting his own poop on blogs about autism. Is there any evidence of this being true, or is it just a myth? Wikipedia says nothing about Mozart eating feces or being into scat, he just talked about feces a lot in letters to his mama and his cousin.

http://talentsofautism.com/?p=4258
>> No. 73579
>>73578

Mozart was the priest in Church of Fudge.
>> No. 73584
>>73579

Having just shown this internet classic to my girlfriend for the sake of her education, I just realized that the music in the background is actually Mozart's Requiem
>> No. 73585
I have never actually watched the church of fudge. What is it, exactly? I assume it's a scat video.
>> No. 73885
Dissapointingly, getting laid does not alter their behavior.


File 143535608334.jpg - (210.12KB , 960x820 , dR7ZiYP.jpg )
73544 No. 73544 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
You ever feel like killing yourselves?

I almost died a little while by hanging off my door knob. I came pretty close to losing consciousness and if I didn't act I would've died.

Did you find a way to turn your life around and make things better?

I don't even hellza feel particularly bad, I just have all these vague anxieties about the future like things will never get better and there's nothing I can do about it.

I come to you people because I literally have no friends.
36 posts and 10 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73688
>>73683
Can you show me?
>> No. 73690
>>73688
I'd be right happy to.
>> No. 73704
>>73643
Don't be a fool.

You can become an electrician after attending a 6 month trade school. You'll make $50k a year changing lightbulbs for incompetent yuppie fucks. In 10 years or so of experience you can become a master electrician and make upwards of $100k. Just show aptitude while you're in school and your instructors/the school will place you in a job.

I have a cousin that did 10 years in prison and he was in his mid 30s when he got out, he went into a trade and now has a wife and a few kids living as best as he can. There are people in all sorts of situations trying to get their shit together however they can dude, you just need to keep fighting and you'll eventually find your way in life.

I wish you the best, but you sound more fucked up than I am. Know that as long as you have all your limbs and functioning sensory organs there is hope for you yet.
>> No. 73793
I got a girlfriend

It didn't cure my clinical depression.

Who would've thunk?
>> No. 73836
>>73793
For most people, clinical depression isn't a thing that can be cured, but it can be effectively treated and managed.

I find that "having a bitch around your penis" therapy is an effective part of a treatment regimen and (if you find the right bitch to put around your penis for the long term) can give you something to hope for in the future.


File 143619506718.jpg - (569.20KB , 792x1224 , fight.jpg )
73766 No. 73766 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Have you heard about Demochan.org, /b/?

It's a democratic chan where users vote for a party to own a board. We should make a party on it and take it over.

(USER SENT TO GULAG FOR THIS DISPLAY OF SOLIDARNOŚĆ)
11 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73791
File 143630757462.jpg - (82.98KB , 633x475 , theoldman.jpg )
73791
>>73767
>>73771

Stop resisting our robotic overlords to be and start embracing the perfect masters.
>> No. 73796
>>73782
ballza point. We need a less flexible, a more consistent metric. Perhaps vaginal depth?
>> No. 73798
>>73796
>>73778

We could always just keep it at ds, the way Thomas Jefferson intended. It's not like the few female-sponsored initiatives in US history haven't all been some kind of retarded prohibition based on feelings and babies.
>> No. 73805
>>73798
Sometimes I get tempted to wonder if it would have taken longer to vote our freedoms away in the name of security if we hadn't passed the 19th Amendment. However, it's obviously not a foolproof plan because women's indirect political influence made the 18th Amendment a thing.
>> No. 73826
File 143650587560.jpg - (32.53KB , 336x550 , Rosie.jpg )
73826
what about obese female robots? would u vote for obese female robots?


File 143602543071.png - (552.29KB , 499x650 , patriotism.png )
73730 No. 73730 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Happy fourth of july. What are your plans on this fine day?

26 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 73769
Napoleon Bonaparte Charles de Gaulle Julian Assange.
>> No. 73770
>>73769
If Julian was a frenchman his name would be Julien, not Julian! Suck my croissant.
>> No. 73772
>>73750
> if you are seriously interested
They're not. They're just rowdy and want to cat-call.
>> No. 73780
>>73772

I guess I can learn to live with it. I just feel so, used.
>> No. 73784
>>73780

It's like society came up to me and said, "Look, I found this dog shit on the ground. I know it isn't yours, but I want you to have it."


File 143615168771.png - (40.29KB , 674x616 , 99chin.png )
73760 No. 73760 hide quickreply [Reply]
http://read-able.com/check.php?uri=http%3A%2F%2F99chan.org%2Fb%2F
>> No. 73761
It's ballza to concisely communicate and express yourself.

>> No. 73762
File 143615677060.png - (69.92KB , 598x579 , 2015-07-06-002526_598x579_scrot.png )
73762
I don't think that many 5 year olds can read classical Chinese, somehow I doubt the efficacy of this particular website.
>> No. 73764
File 143618845131.jpg - (147.10KB , 629x553 , gizoogle_transnizzle.jpg )
73764
I'm pleased to find that my customary method of viewing 99chan, gizoogle tranznizzle, is rated at a slightly higher reading level than the original.


>Flesch Kincaid Reading Ease81.6
>Flesch Kincaid Grade Level4.4
>Gunning Fog Score6.6
>SMOG Index5.3
>Coleman Liau Index6
>Automated Readability Index1.2
>> No. 73768
It includes all interface elements in the assessment, it's entirely diluted and meaningless.
>> No. 73781
File 143625963329.jpg - (112.67KB , 612x380 , me.jpg )
73781
>>73768

What if we collated the text areas, but removed common keywords by a simple search and delete? Preformatting would certainly eliminate the redundancies and improve the efficiency of our algorithm.


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