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Rickb has quite the voice. Take a listen :)


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File 139756554094.jpg - (73.74KB , 454x750 , pictureweird.jpg )
60592 No. 60592 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Who am I talking to? Tell me something weird about yourself, fellow poster.
44 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60741
>>60724
I made it seem skewed, I'm sorry, the guy I was talking to reminds me so much of myself before I learned how things work I feel like I'm talking to my old self. No, you don't let them control the whole conversation, but you talk about them and ask questions about them a LOT, WAY more than you mention anything about yourself, if at all, because ideally THEY will ask about you, at which point you DON'T give your life story but answer them succinctly, then route things back to being about them. Women can quickly get addicted to sincere compliments and praise, if you combine that with (creepy as it may seem, though it's not really) making them think of their father or some other stern authority figure, being funny and not treating them like they're the duchess of York and you'll have em exhibiting Lordosis behavior in no time!


Also PUA's are like career hunters that use a few overpowered weapons for everything they're hunting and are doomed to eventually needing a bigger rush and thrill and/or realizing they're only bueno at hunting, not what comes AFTER you catch em.
>> No. 60743
I stole all of my ex's underwear and shit on the floor of her kitchen before leaving her. She called the cops on me, but for some reason they didn't do anything other than to tell me not to contact her again.
>> No. 60745
File 139793899394.jpg - (50.11KB , 500x750 , 1397694542576.jpg )
60745
>>60743
Boy, you sure showed her.
>> No. 60746
>>60743
So what did you do with her underwear?
>> No. 60748
>>60743
Yes, we must know. What did you do with them?


File 139744880067.jpg - (36.67KB , 400x257 , hippies.jpg )
60497 No. 60497 hide expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
Why do people hate hippies so much?
50 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60722
>>60716
This is a well thought out opinion, and although I was arguing against you and disagree, I respect it.

>>60721
You are an idiot and an incomprehensible crazy person. Clinton left Iraq and the left, along with the republicans, has always been just as corrupt and gay as it is now. That's mostly the reason why it's so much fun to throw stones at Kennedy, who most people totally misinterpret as he was a spoiled, corrupt, wealthy son of a bootlegger. LBJ was more destructive, although I can see why someone like you would like him. Oh, waaaahh, Vietnam ruined his great society waaaah. Basically a fat-headed populist who thought that by sucking up tax dollars, he could warehouse blacks in kennels which we are all still paying for to this day. Yeah, great shit.
>> No. 60734
File 139785461184.png - (965.16KB , 1280x655 , chaulkletwasted.png )
60734
>>60722
>Basically a fat-headed populist who thought that by sucking up tax dollars, he could warehouse blacks in kennels which we are all still paying for to this day. Yeah, great shit.
>> No. 60735
>>60722
>Clinton left Iraq

Fuck are you talking about, the gulf war or some shit? Because he signed a law stating the US would support any democratic regime change in Iraq. Clinton involved us a lot in Iraq. I didn't realize I was arguing with a massive retard
>> No. 60742
I just know that my Obamacare costs less than my old health insurance.
>> No. 60747
>>60742
I was talking about Desert Fox, obviously. Tough talk is just tough talk. He left and didn't even really have much of an impact on the situation.


File 139648872251.jpg - (65.91KB , 500x713 , spongebob-tampax.jpg )
60247 No. 60247 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
When grills masturbate they usually do it by stroking their clits.

Does this mean they prefer clit stimulation to baginal stimulation or do they do it that way because it's easier than baginally stimulating themselves?
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60356
>>60265
>Stop being 17.
YOU CNAT TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOUR NOT MY REAL DAD
>> No. 60577
bitches need to lrn2gspot

(USER LIKES JAM ON THEIR TOAST)
>> No. 60578
>>60356

Not even my real dad can tell me what to do. Except when he beats me.
>> No. 60739
>>60262
I find that the ones with a clit that sensitive have a better chance of being among the small fraction (no more than a quarter, by some estimates) of women who are able to cum from just plain sex.

>>60255
This has definitely worked for me.
>> No. 60744
Most girls I've been with prefer vaginal sex with clitoral stimulation as well. But I've dated some huge whores in my life who probably have some overworked or damaged cunt tunnel nerves, I believe the medical term to be.


File 13977342152.jpg - (61.03KB , 631x354 , holden.jpg )
60689 No. 60689 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you, /b/. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that, /b/?
8 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60726
Canadians are, by far, one of the most racist people on earth. And their flagrant racism is overlooked by the world community due to the widespread dismissal of Canada in general. I want 99chan to reconsider its view on Canada and put serious thought into joining the anti-Canada viewpoint.
>> No. 60727
>>60726
Sorry Mr. Quebecois, but you guys aren't really a race and they don't hate you for those reasons. They're just disappointed that you guys spend up all of their welfare money.
>> No. 60728
  >>60727
Quebecois tend to be fairly racist, too. Many dislike the English and call them "Tetes-carees", and it is not unusual for frenchies to talk shit about other races and cultures. It must be noted that they talk shit about their own culture too, though.

And there's the term "pure laine" used to describe people of pure French Canadian descent which can be used in a racist way. Here we have a catchy song about how Quebecois who learn English and try to become famous in the US instead of sticking to French speaking places are pretty much race traitors.
>> No. 60733
>>60728
Sounds like being French Canadian is sort of like being Amish.
>> No. 60738
>>60726
The only racists I've come across here are on the internet and white cab drivers. It never fails that a cab driver strikes up an awkward conversation about "pakis"


File 139630966057.jpg - (41.03KB , 450x240 , yesperfect.jpg )
60167 No. 60167 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
DOT ORG AND MARIJUANAS HOOOORAYYY
11 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60241
File 139648128554.jpg - (72.37KB , 270x400 , YesMan2008poster.jpg )
60241
You guys should all watch this documentary by Errol Morris. It's haunting.
>> No. 60279
>>60241
I don't watch French films. Too pretentious.
>> No. 60282
File 139666189971.jpg - (96.18KB , 720x540 , ThompsonTeeth.jpg )
60282
Oh I get it, in this thread it's like we're parodying other threads.
>> No. 60292
>>60282
I see what you did there.



And honestly I'm not entirely impressed by it.
>> No. 60736
Ugh, you can tell that comic is just dripping with pro-yes propaganda. Fucking gross.


File 13977095795.jpg - (9.17KB , 251x177 , kiURfkR.jpg )
60688 No. 60688 hide quickreply [Reply]
http://www.pointerpointer.com/

Prepare to feel ashamed of how you spend the next hour of your life.

(also post other bueno sites to visit when you're bored and or high)
>> No. 60693
http://adarkroom.doublespeakgames.com/
>> No. 60725
File 13978086792.jpg - (4.15KB , 64x90 , 3029361[1].jpg )
60725
Thank you both for sharing. An entire night of amusement was had.


File 139767310352.jpg - (53.97KB , 1280x720 , kyuubei.jpg )
60654 No. 60654 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Usenet ---> SomethingAwful ---> *chan ---> ???

what happens next
12 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60701
Someone asked me if I wanted their kik and I thought it was a sex act, my phone is apparently outdated because I don't instagram and vine all day, the world is now constantly updated with excruciating minutiae nobody cares about.
>> No. 60712
File 139778248763.gif - (47.89KB , 832x624 , structure.gif )
60712
>>60654
>>60656
>>60663
>>60670
You guys are bueno.
>> No. 60715
File 139778948057.gif - (79.86KB , 350x576 , ascii dance.gif )
60715
Well when the NSA takes down the internet proper and all we are left with is a select few sites loaded with advertisements, like channels on the television, and the undersea cables are filtered for any unauthorized internetting, the determined user will be forced to switch to hamnet, an open, encrypted, fully wireless net using HF recreational radio tranceivers functioning as end to end encrypted amplitude modulaton modems which relay transmissions from node to node until they get to their intended destination. With latency in the range of 30 to 60 seconds, and baud rates not exceeding 12 kilobits a second, a fundamental shift in how the community functions will be seen, with not least of all, a resurgence in the transmission and retention of text files and binary packets not exceeding 64 kilobytes in size.
>> No. 60720
>>60715
That's very ballza Bateman, but you know that's not actually going to happen, right?
>> No. 60723
>>60720
Shhhh. Quiet. The years he spent becoming an irc overlord have to pay off some day. Otherwise, that time is all wasted.


File 139696288447.jpg - (48.23KB , 500x464 , image.jpg )
60345 No. 60345 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Hello friends.
I've been bouncing around a lot on different chans the past few years. Most of them are full of shit these days as you can tell. I just left 420chan because I got tired of all the survey thread faggotry that the mods were allowing to happen. This place is pretty much ideal for my posting needs excluding that it gets like one post per year.
Does this website ever speed up or was it always like this? Last time I was here was around a year ago and I remember it being a tad bit faster.
13 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60614
  I dunno, but it makes me think of ballza Guy.
>> No. 60637
>>60614

ballza Guy is the weirdest video I've ever seen, I think. It's a 10th-grade short film that everyone on the internet has seen--and has seen enough to remember it, and bring it up every now and then, five years on--but has zero offline presence. It's worse than the Marble Hornets guys, even they eventually got a movie deal.
>> No. 60698
Oh, I haven't been here in nearly a year either. Having read through a bunch of threads, it seems either you guys have changed or this is mostly a newer user base now.
>> No. 60707
>>60698
Well, we did get many new users from neoturbine a few months ago.
>> No. 60709
>>60707
>>60698

I don't think that the three people who wound up on the roughly 30-person 99chan irc circlejerk from there are having an impact on the imageboard. It's just some general shitpostyness from us getting the .org domain back very recently. Go look at page two or three and you'll see your pretentious comedic threads and butthurt 15-paragraph political text walls that we've always had. The influx, when it crosses the line, will continue to be met with a steady but deliberate ban crucible until only pure product is left once again.


No. 60576 hide quickreply [Reply]
  This guy had a conversation with a Sasquatch. Have you? Probably not. This guy has.

Sasquatches are more advanced than humans. If you don't understand this, you will continue to fail in your progress. Read the video description for this and many more vital pieces of information.

Or he just had a conversation with a hairy guy with Down Syndrome. One of the two.
>> No. 60596
File 139756680862.jpg - (32.76KB , 536x297 , UWAAHHH.jpg )
60596
Some people in the comment section actually take this shit seriously.
>> No. 60686
Whenever I come across something like this, all that I can think about is how boring it must be for this guy to sit and work for hours on putting together this audio, etc. Some people do this crap and claim it as art or whatever, but man. Just seems like a waste of time, and it wouldn't even be an entertaining process.
>> No. 60687
>but rather a people, an older more refined and evolved people that don't rely on technology for their existence.

You dont get to call yourself more refined if you shit on the ground and wipe with your hand.
>> No. 60692
According to a comment on the video, sasquatches are spiritual beings. I can only assume they don't shit at all.

>asquatch are spiritual beings that can manifest a physical body at will. They can appear and disappear, partially or in whole. I've personally witnessed partial manifestation inches from my eyes before my face was touched on several occasions.

>>60686
My guess is that he's trying to make some money by exploiting the gullible people who believe him. Maybe he's going to publish a book or sell charms to attract sasquatches or something.
>> No. 60705
>>60692

>My guess is that he's trying to make some money

That actually had not occurred to me. The whole thing makes a lot more sense now.


No. 60695 hide quickreply [Reply]
  I guess the slippery slope argument really works, because they said that if we legalized gay marriage the next thing people would be doing is getting married to animals.
>> No. 60696
  rude
>> No. 60697
  rude
>> No. 60708
It's not like this was ever illegal though. As long as it's a man and a woman, people can dress up like retards during their wedding in any state. In fact, the more you infer that they're anything other than that, the more credence you give to their bullshit.


File 139739173948.jpg - (293.91KB , 700x933 , bum raped.jpg )
60455 No. 60455 hide quickreply [Reply]
Man rapes baby, gets bum raped in prison, gets stitched up and then gets bum raped again.

Such is Brazil.

http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.opresente.com.br%2Fpolicial%2Festuprador-de-crianca-de-um-ano-leva-o-troco-em-dobro-na-cadeia-50909%2F&edit-text=&act=url
>> No. 60459
It's funny how his BJJ skills didn't match up against 20 gay niggers.
>> No. 60638
That picture fills me with such blackhearted glee. I bet he's going to get invited to plenty of blanket parties once he heals up. If I were a guard at that prison I'd give him a few days to heal up, then fill his pockets with packets of jelly and send him back to his new friends.


File 139757075033.jpg - (5.70KB , 156x207 , download (1).jpg )
60603 No. 60603 hide quickreply [Reply]
Neww fag cant purple text..can it be taught or must I be born into it?

(USER GOT SOME HELP WITH COLORED TEXT ON HIS POST)
>> No. 60607
r u avin a giggle m8
>> No. 60608
You just put > before whatever you want to say.

>We're all wizards here.
>> No. 60610
>Hitler did nothing wrong.
>> No. 60611
File 139757913186.png - (757.63KB , 662x510 , bananahitler.png )
60611
http://www.vice.com/read/meet-hitler-la-villa-de-los-santos


File 139700674911.gif - (6.50MB , 300x170 , chinesesuicide.gif )
60353 No. 60353 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
What the fuck is wrong with the chinese?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=278_1318911790
18 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60504
I only know about japanese/chinese history from playing Dynasty warriors, RotTK and similar games. That yellow turban rebellion was some crazy stuff.
>> No. 60522
>>60496
Exactly.

I have no idea why the other dude up there thinks that's such a terrible system, when under his, the inventor you're referring to would just get his shit jacked by a couple of Koreans, as if that's somehow a much better alternative.
>> No. 60528
>Uh, you mean the part where they became an economic powerhouse and used those resources against Britain twice in gigantic conflicts that destroyed both empires?


I'd say it was in part a self fulfilling prophecy. When you fear the success of others, so it leads to great war unconditional surrender conditions. By viewing the change in the balance of power as something that necessitates conflict, you end up instigating the very conflict you were afraid of in the first place, in order to redress perceived imbalance. The American Jingoes use the same rhetoric to describe current events, and scaremonger as they always have.

That and it was Russia's fault for sponsoring terrorism.



>Even if that wasn't the most overly-simplistic garbage statement I'd ever

That's because it is. I had lunch with a CEO a few weeks ago, and that was his assessment of the market. So whether it is strictly true is irrelevant, because the market runs on perceptions, and this is what the people at the top actually believe. As it follows, if you believe a condition to already predominate, are you more or less likely to abet the situation?

>>60522

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 60582
>>60528
Paragraph 1:
>I think that other countries ripping you off is only a problem if you dislike them, so just stop disliking them and there's no problem.

Paragraph 2:
>I either misunderstood a "CEO" (lol) that I met or he was an idiot who spoke in circles and even though I cannot argue further with you, I will emptily cite his alleged opinion and insist that this lunch actually did happen.

Paragraph 3:
>I am having a stroke, but luckily I was able to turn on some kind of autocorrect so words were created here, albeit in a completely random order.

Those are you, right there. You wrote those things just now, even though you tried to mask the fact that you wrote them.
>> No. 60598
File 139756799670.png - (188.78KB , 245x686 , chinese.png )
60598
>>60353
Contrary to liberal doctrine, all races are not equal.


File 139743532151.jpg - (237.94KB , 376x450 , Robbie_Coltrane.jpg )
60484 No. 60484 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I've been posting here for a long time and I've recently decided that I need to develop and establish a personal brand here on 99chan. Name- and/or trip-fagging on /b/ is not possible so I have concluded that the best way to go about establishing a personality presence is with a unique catchphrase.

So, in this thread, please post things so that I may wittily respond, signing off my retorts with my trademark catchphrase, thus reinforcing my brand.

Thank you for your assistance. By helping me in this small way, you are doing much to help 99chan.
2 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60524
Do this and I will ban you, and ban you and ban you until I run out of bans (I won't)
>> No. 60536
File 139751081720.jpg - (18.81KB , 300x225 , showbiz_main_library_robbie_coltrane_yes_pm.jpg )
60536
>>60524
You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips!

A ZIM ZIM ZOW!!!
>> No. 60545
I like big butts and I cannot lie, these otha brothas can't deny?
>> No. 60547
An invisible ban? Touche, mod. That way I don't get rebel cred for being banned.

How dare you interfere with my attempts at establishing brand-identity. I shall take this up with the admins at once and you will surely be disciplined. 99chan needs a colourful personality with a memorable catchphrase, like Urkel or Ed McMahon. Do you really want to deny 99chan it's very own Urkel McMahon?

Don't answer. It was a rhetorical question. Of course you don't.
>> No. 60590
That's the way the cookie crumbles.

A ZIM ZIM ZOW!!!

(USER WAS PUBLICLY SHAMED FOR CREATING THIS THREAD)


File 139681107343.jpg - (67.76KB , 640x426 , 994_mochileiro.jpg )
60310 No. 60310 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Is there something more stupid than traveling?
41 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60512
>>60483
After checking out his blog I agree that he seems like a pretty ballza guy, but that quote you posted is positively dreadful.
>> No. 60560
>>60512
How dare you criticize my beloved Walton.

His hairline has receded in the most perfectly handsome way, IMO.
>> No. 60566
>>60467
Hey I am back to fill you guys in some more. I'm from a Native American background grew up on a reservation hunting, camping and fishing all my life. You don't need a gun to hunt a bit of rabbit snare, and some sticks will do just find for small game. I actually really hate bear grylls, he does a bunch of un-necissarily dangerous things that for most people would end up with them breaking their legs. I do plan to visit more rural areas and getting to know the real culture of the places I visit.

For the most part I think I could trade pelts and fish for any extra buenos in these areas. and get to know the locals a bit. I wanna travel around with gypsies and learn their stories. (yes I know I will most likely be robbed) I plan to save bits of cash from rural trading to visit specific monuments or sites in urban areas but I never plan to stay in a city for more than a day trip.
>> No. 60574
>>60566
If someone gives you shit for trapping rabbits on his private land, just be like "I'M A FUCKING INDIAN GET OFF MY LAND, COLONIZER." problem solved
>> No. 60579
File 139753235537.gif - (5.54KB , 300x287 , mudkip.gif )
60579
>>60442
I like this post, and liked reading it.


File 139735662372.jpg - (87.59KB , 553x369 , MI-CC080_QMPREC_G_20140330155449.jpg )
60447 No. 60447 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Anyone here banned from other places?

what ya do? confessions
12 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60555
>>60553
Did she say "muff cabbage" a lot?
>> No. 60558
>>60555
No. I don't get the reference so I'll google it.

Googling complete.

She wasn't a guido, no, despite what the Italian heritage and club fighting might lead you to think. She was a very sweet girl. Northern Italian, where they have the dark hair and really light blue eyes. Super cute.
>> No. 60565
Post pictures of her
>> No. 60569
File 139752229278.jpg - (93.78KB , 498x498 , italy.jpg )
60569
>>60558
>She wasn't a guido, no, despite what the Italian heritage

"Denial" isn't just your girlfriend's stage name at the Guinea mafia skin bar where she strips and turns tricks on the side.
>> No. 60575
>>60569
I wish. I would love to fuck a guido stripper. Just once. I am turned on by trashy girls.


File 139745269682.gif - (34.34KB , 608x788 , Autism characteristics.gif )
60502 No. 60502 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
What is the use of a BMP?
8 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60559
>>60557
Bugs Bunny and Disney too.
>> No. 60561
File 139751770880.jpg - (37.44KB , 395x400 , musclerose.jpg )
60561
and bugs bunny
>> No. 60562
File 139751786018.jpg - (24.78KB , 400x352 , echidnamilk.jpg )
60562
rude
>> No. 60564
File 139751838234.jpg - (63.73KB , 400x384 , sonicsbirthday.jpg )
60564
rude
>> No. 60570
>>60557
That's a fair point. Take it this way, then, when kids are first starting to form sexual thoughts in the preteen years, particularly boys, what are they doing? Usually playing video games. Why there's tons of weird Sonic porn instead of, say, Marioverse (which there is a lot of porn of that, though maybe not quite as much) could be explained by the weird fandom that sprang up after the 3D Sonic games started to come out, around then it was sort of dead zone for bueno Nintendo games.


File 139750938181.jpg - (203.59KB , 800x566 , clarissa_there's more.jpg )
60533 No. 60533 hide quickreply [Reply]
I a a worthless peice of shit mods please delete all posts by ip and ban me
(USER WAS FOUND TO SPAM SHITTY COMICS)
>> No. 60534
You're not THAT bad, Mulder!
>> No. 60535
  Don't you ever say that, OP. You are not worthless. You are a strong, beautiful woman of colour. You let your light shine, girl!

Mm-hm!


File 139621906883.jpg - (137.30KB , 518x388 , big_pizza.jpg )
60139 No. 60139 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
>be me
>be right now
>see 99chan for the first time
>don't know anything else to do than post this

(>GET BANNED FOR THIS POST)
10 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60300
>>60295
I think only her hair is cheese, with the rest of her being either crust or delicious caramelized cheese.
>> No. 60303
File 139675379339.jpg - (7.64KB , 170x170 , fat-man.jpg )
60303
>>60299

Small enough to sit on one of those little plastic tables that prevent your pizza from getting squished.

For cheese: parmigiana I would presume. She may let herself go at a later age. Better just make a one-nighter of it.
>> No. 60317
>>60300
> with the rest of her being either crust

You sick bastard
>> No. 60485
>>60317
whats to invent? dough, tomatos n cheese..pizza practically invented itself through tasteful logic, pizza is god
>> No. 60488
>>60485
You make an interesting point. And from there, the calzone and stuffed-crust are simply logical offshoots.

You have made my sunny-Sunday-afternoon-drunk mind think about what inventions that we are currently oblivious to will seem "obvious" to future people


File 139711342426.png - (223.94KB , 760x572 , satisfact.png )
60380 No. 60380 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
ITT: Your age, favorite novel
>16
>the great gatsby

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
10 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 60441
Age: 21
Favorite novel: Siddhartha
race: white
>> No. 60444
Age: 34
Favourite novel: Krull
>> No. 60445
  Favorite actor: Dennehy
Favorite drink: O'Doul's
>> No. 60476
Age: 24
(current) favourite (English Language, non-serial) novel: Ulysses by James Joyce
>> No. 60481
>>60476
Current distance (in meters) that head is up ass: infinity billion



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