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File 144817698293.jpg - (284.36KB , 711x1080 , Geordi_La_Forge_2368.jpg )
76202 No. 76202 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I'm watching that Star Trek where Geordi gets friendzoned and it is so painful to watch and I can't stop laughing.

He makes a girl uncomfortable by telling her he's been making a computer simulation of her on the holodeck.

I can't stop laughing.
3 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76234
File 144846793568.jpg - (103.38KB , 400x307 , starwar.jpg )
It's better than Star Wars. Fuck Star Wars.
>> No. 76237
I don't know. Star Wars, at least the original trilogy, has a grittiness to it. In Star Trek, everything looks like a hotel lobby. On TNG, the Enterprise has fucking carpet for Christ's sake. I get that it's not supposed to look like a military vessel because it's not, it's on a peaceful mission. But things should at least look lived-in. No one's quarters have any personality, everything is way too spic-and-span.

In Star Wars, the ships felt lived in and worked in. The world actually felt inhabited.

I'm a fan of Star Trek. I find it calming and comforting; it's slow moving, and somehow peaceful even when the characters are in danger. I don't watch it for the WORLD'S DEEPEST SCIENCE FICTION. I watch it for its usefulness as gentle, entertaining background noise and its depiction of a adventurous yet soothing future. It's hopeful, it's playful, and it is generally structured around simple mysteries. I'm talking about the Original Series, the Animated Series (which is actually my favorite) and TNG.

And despite the majority of alien's who are humanoid and communicate verbally, they occasionally do a great job of handling encounters with creatures that are completely alien. Like the TNG episode with Tin Man, or the Original Series episode with the Berserker. I wish the series had more of that kind of stuff; stories that emphasized the vastness of space and the variety and incomprehensibility of life in it, hinting at an unfathomable universe that the Enterprise is slowly pushing further and further out into. Sometimes TNG just feels like a show about a floating atrium running errands in a very tame and orderly universe but when they branch out, shit can get crazy.
>> No. 76238
File 144847902651.jpg - (71.95KB , 701x800 , galaxiee.jpg )
fuck you basketball americans, dans une galaxie près de chez vous is where it's at
>> No. 76241
File 144852575547.png - (233.26KB , 935x935 , 959c2b9fdf6c3b10d17b8125d9bec9dc.png )
Cum is pretty salty, would a snail die if you ejaculated on it?
>> No. 76242
Snails react that way to salt because it attempts to overcompensate for the amount of solid salt from the outside by moving all the fluids to outside of its body. There is also a shitload more sodium in solid salt than there is in semen. An average cumshot of 3.4mL will only produce about 10mg of sodium, whereas a small dash of table salt is about 150mg of sodium.

So in conclusion there is not enough sodium in semen to cause such a dramatic reaction, and any effect it might have will be offset by the fact that the semen is liquid and help moisturize the snail. Feel free to test the hypothesis, though.

File 144847496922.jpg - (868.82KB , 3231x2171 , wheelofpiss.jpg )
76236 No. 76236 hide quickreply [Reply]
Let's educate other users by posting interesting facts!

Children, let me teach you about the wonderful art of uromancy. Medieval uromancy was derived from uroscopy, the practice of diagnosing patients by examining their urine.

"The practice of uroscopy—using urine to analyse a patient’s health—soon turned into uromancy, which was something altogether different. Uromancy is the art of divination using urine. Piss prophets (as they were known) each had a different method for predicting the future. Some took omens from the urine’s colour; others from its taste. Most commonly, piss prophets ‘read the bubbles’ seconds after it hit the divination bowl. The presence of large bubbles spread far apart signified that the urinator was about to come into a lot of money. Conversely, the presence of small bubbles packed tightly together signified illness, loss or the death of a loved one."

>> No. 76239
Imagine someone today paying you money so they could piss in front of you and you could claim to tell their future. As long as you find a way around the medical regulation bullshit you can operate the same way palm readers run their business.

That sounds like a golden business opportunity.
>> No. 76240
The oldest company still in existence today is Nishiyama Onsen Keiunkan, a hot spring hotel in Japan that has been around 705 AD. It used to be Kongou Gumi, another Japanese company and construction company specializing in Buddhist temples, but they folded in 2006 after 1400 years of continuous operation. Many of the world's oldest companies are in Japan due to the way they have run their economy since the middle ages and since a company's lineage is very important there.

The oldest company in Europe is Stiftskeller St. Peter, a restaurant within a monastery in Salzburg, Austria that has been in continuous operation since 803, albeit owned by different parties over that time.

File 144695408191.png - (307.88KB , 610x343 , skele.png )
75937 No. 75937 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Hey sloths, recommend stuff that is fun to watch. Anime, horror movies, mexican telenovelas,mixtapes, whatever.

I recommend retard-o-tron and the anime overlord. Go watch overlord. It is hellza fun.
10 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76227

It's not meant to be the sole analysis for quality, especially not when considering ancient works from heavily patriarchal societies. It's just meant to be a funny, quick way of analyzing whether it makes an absolute barebones effort to include women in the story. Get that stick outta your butt.

>> No. 76229
>It's not meant to be the sole analysis for quality
Somebody tell Tumblr that.
>> No. 76230
Steven Universe doesn't pass the Bechdel Test.
>> No. 76233
Ideon guy here. I threw in the Bechdel test reference not because I feel it is of any importance in any concrete sense but just because I felt like it was a fun thing to add because it occurred to me just as I was typing up that post and it's nice when things pass the Bechdel test. It was kind of tongue in cheek, kind of just a nice little tidbit to pile up on top of the many other ballza things about this series.

Have a wonderful day.
>> No. 76235
I watched Bad Biology last night. It's about a woman with many clits all over and in her body who meets a man with a huge, sentient, tentacle d. It did not pass the bechdel test.

File 144841431953.jpg - (43.66KB , 358x292 , 1446575225897.jpg )
76228 No. 76228 hide quickreply [Reply]
99chan is a wanna be 4 big dicks up my asshole, just admit it.


File 144811660666.png - (380.77KB , 291x606 , dreamcats2.png )
76179 No. 76179 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Post your dreams!
14 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76220
File 144832470397.png - (542.01KB , 600x450 , 39789792d5384c3364a83fb0e01f47c6.png )
Michael Jackson wasn't a ballza enough Michael Jackson, I thought I could be a better Michael Jackson so I started impersonating him much to the chagrin of the actual Michael Jackson, who came to my house and tried to beat me up, I tried to fight back but couldn't bring myself to hurt Michael Jackson. I would try to punch and it would turn out to be a wimpy punch. Such was my wet dream about Michael Jackson.
>> No. 76221
When I was a kid I had a dream where I woke up in what I'm going to describe as Heaven. My room was lit with a soft glorious golden light streaming in through the window. I was feeling very peaceful. I woke up and went to my parents room looking for them but I knew they weren't there. I went to the top of the stairs and looked down. The light was normal on the stairs leading down to the main floor but it looked dark and cold. I wanted my parents so I took one step down the stairs, fell through past the ground floor into the basement, which was hellza dark and cold and depressing. I landed on my ass and woke up.

I had this same dream for 3 nights in a row.
>> No. 76223
File 144837854389.jpg - (25.87KB , 590x600 , romanian.jpg )
I was in art class, sitting next to two of my elementary school frenemies. They did something bitchy and I moved to another seat with my teapot and my teacup because for some reason bringing these to school was totally normal.

From the corner of my eye I saw two people approaching, one blond and one with brown hair, like my frenemies. They poured lemonade in my empty tea cup. Immediately I panicked, thinking they were said people pouring piss in my cup or doing something similarly despicable. I threw my cup right in the blond person's face! It was then that I realized that the two people were not my frenemies but, in fact, were enormous romanian musclehead gangsters who were just trying to be nice. Oops. They immediately called their friends and they started punching me in the face. But it didn't hurt. There was no pain. I enjoyed the physical sensation, although I didn't dare to say so.
>> No. 76225
Do you think your parents were in the basement?
>> No. 76226
I'm already scared of dying alone. I have to at least make some nominal effort of trying to fix that, even if it's nothing more than reaching out to strangers on the Internet.

File 144799423138.jpg - (209.73KB , 905x1280 , me.jpg )
76152 No. 76152 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76157
Why not just pirate new vegas?
>> No. 76158
That's his jiggly finger
>> No. 76171
File 144805282586.jpg - (7.39KB , 250x376 , lovehoney-jessica-rabbit-20-g-spot-vibrator-01.jpg )
That looks less like a proper finger and more like the extra doodad on a rabbit vibrator.
>> No. 76176
File 144807743766.jpg - (387.46KB , 500x707 , 1665659 - Star_Butterfly Star_vs_the_Forces_of_Evi.jpg )
That copy of Dark Souls was a gift you meanie head.
>> No. 76216

File 144650031321.jpg - (66.59KB , 1196x780 , touch penis.jpg )
75831 No. 75831 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Oh no, my tears, they will not fall, is something wrong? No not at all.
Just a little poem. Tee hee.

No but fur real fuck other chans. This is best chan.

What kind of a sick fuck banns a person for telling jew jokes? Or for shitting on dirty muzzies?? An insane sick fuck that's what.

9 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76192
If you divide the deaths by the number of flu viruses (considering they didn't have a leader and acted independently) you'll get a very small k/d ratio. Hitler managed to kill millions with his rhetoric.
>> No. 76193

And microscopic bacteria, viruses, and other shit have managed to wipe out countless numbers of people for most of history while being too small to even see. The grandest dictator yet couldn't even hope to compare to the death toll microscopic shit has racked up.

We're not even the best at killing other humans, mother nature is.
>> No. 76195

The way you've phrased this is so misleading.

>Flu caused more deaths than Americans in WWI, WWII, Korean War, Vietnam War combined

Americans didn't hellza suffer that much in WWI or WWII. America lost 0.3% of its population in WWII. For comparison, Nazi Germany lost 9%, the USSR 14%, and Poland 20%. Likewise, the brunt of the casualties in the Korean and Vietnam War were in the countries in question. America only had a little under 60,000 deaths in the Vietnam War, versus somewhere in the range of 1,500,000 military and civilian dead for the Vietnamese.

>More deaths than Hitler (insert Holocaust)

But Hitler caused far more deaths than the Holocaust. WWII caused around 70,000,000 deaths. The Soviet Union alone had 27,000,000 military and civilian casualties, and Germany 7,000,000. The Eastern Front and Holocaust together is roughly as deadly as the Spanish Flu.
>> No. 76203
File 144817710272.jpg - (44.07KB , 700x391 , phat geez.jpg )
>more deaths than hitler
Hitler only died once.

Phat geez, 99bros. Phat geez.
>> No. 76205
I'm gonna make a rap song, but instead of saying "i keep it one hunnit" I'm gonna say "i keep it 99" and it'll be a reference to 99 chan but only real OG's will know that.

File 144640614125.jpg - (102.81KB , 1024x684 , handsome minge.jpg )
75820 No. 75820 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Why do the best minges look about 12?

10 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76104
File 144783076742.jpg - (191.83KB , 1200x1600 , beautiful pink pussy lips.jpg )
youth is beauty, beauty youth
>> No. 76118
I dunno, man, I've seen some ugly youths in my time. Fucked up, crooked tooth, FAS kids and shit.

And that kid in Gummo.
>> No. 76177
continue with care once you've stumbled across a black chick in a list. they are a ballza indicator that things are about to turn shitty.
>> No. 76185
I used to sleep with a black girl with a tiny, tidy vagina. It was very pretty to look at.

She was of Fijian descent though, so I guess she wasn't black in the African American sense, she was a Pacific Islander or Polynesian or whatever. But if you saw her on the street you'd be like "that's a black girl."

Now that I think about it she got the best of both worlds: hellza nice black person lips, a big booty on a small frame, and a tight little Asian vagina.

This concludes my heroic tale of fucking a black girl who wasn't hellza black.
>> No. 76197
Age doesn't improve those kinds. If they do look better as adults it's not because of getting older, but in spite of it. God bless plastic surgery.

File 144793492033.png - (0.97MB , 854x558 , Anaheim.png )
76141 No. 76141 hide quickreply [Reply]
Post about things that have made you smile recently.

I just found this album full of pictures of cheerleaders awkwardly posing with Carl Jr. customers. http://picssr.com/photos/carlsjr/
>> No. 76146
I found Dr. House in real life, and he lives in Quebec.

>Very cold doctor. Very unclear about what he is doing. Gave no answers to my questions. Asked me to get ready for the examination while he was still in the room with no curtain and did not give any sheet or towel to cover with like in all of my past gynecological check ups.....very uncomfortable!

>Horrendous doctor. Rude, hostile, unhelpful. I ended up leaving in worse shape. This person has no business practicing medicine.

>This was the worst doctor I've EVER come into contact with. I was sobbing, because I was terrified, and he had absolutely no sympathy, he didn't explain what was wrong, he interrupted me when I tried to talk, he was rough physically. I cannot fathom why this man is still working when he is obviously the most miserable human being on Earth. His SECRETARY had to comfort me and tell me what was going on. I truly can't express how awful he was.


Don't ever start taking any shit from anyone, Dr. Mendelson. They're not worth it.
>> No. 76149
That doesn't make me smile :( Having a personal experience of spending a year and a half bouncing between incompetent, rude, condescending, and lazy doctors before finally finding a ballza one (and discovering that the pain I had been experiencing for the past year and a half was a serious kidney issue that required surgery) who actually listened to my complaints, responded by running a number of tests, referred me to appropriate specialists etc... I can tell you that Dr. Mendelson sounds like an absolute nightmare, one I have experienced first hand. An abrasive doctor is one thing. A doctor who clearly has little empathy, patience, or communication skill is another thing.
>> No. 76154
>That doesn't make me smile

>When I asked his name following exam he pointed at his lab coat
Oh come on now, she walked right into that one.
>> No. 76155
Were you in Quebec? Quebec doctors are bullshit.
>> No. 76188
File 144813220139.png - (306.09KB , 610x339 , damn you mendelson!.png )
No, but after reading about Dr Jack Mendelson of Montreal, I will be careful not to get hurt or sick if I'm ever there.

Dr. Jack Mendelson sounds like a Seinfeld character. He'd be Morty's nemesis at the retirement home in Boca Raton.

File 144747360253.jpg - (53.37KB , 600x448 , gargaflaps.jpg )
76037 No. 76037 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I have 30k. How do I use this to make more money?
26 posts and 8 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76151
The fucking problem is that you can't start a retail business of any kind hellza with 30k. Lay off the prozac, Doctors.

>> No. 76153
I'm not on prozac I'm on Depakote for maintenance bipolar
>> No. 76164
You haven't been mentally special for very long because you should get used to the idea that functioning, useful adults don't give a shit, druggie. Maybe you should lay off the crack syringes and eat a pear or something.
>> No. 76169
>The hardest thing about a retail business is making the social connections required to make it prosper. Who you know can make a huge difference in your profits.

This is hilariously childlike and misleading.

I was part of an assisted "startup" at one time, which was designed to actually be low-cost. We had 3 salespeople, one GM, and one office lady to do all of the financials, all from a cheap, small office above a bank. We even starded off by being the sole distributors of an established product line for our entire state. The end result of this minimalist setup was that, entirely by design, we blew through about $300,000 in startup capital in our first nine months before becoming profitable, and even that beat the expectations of both the investors and the parent company.

So yes. You do need "social connection". Social connections, an excellent ballza/service, talented and dedicated people willing to work hellza long hours, and 10-20x the amount of cash OP has.
>> No. 76186
And the backing of a parent company and an established product to sell apparently?

My mom started a brick-and-mortar health and vitamin store back in the day with about 80k in startup capital. This was in a tiny town with no other store of the type though.

Should OP start a business with 30k: maybe. Depends where he is and what type of business it is.

If I were him I'd start a mutual fund or, if I were American, a Roth IRA, with $20,000 of the money and use the remaining 10 to travel for a few months. Ten thousand dollars is like a year of backpacking in Southeast Asia or like a month of nice hotels and dining in Europe. Rent an apartment for a month or two somewhere and grocery shop instead of eating out and it will last way longer.

File 140533810640.png - (11.24KB , 300x300 , unnamed.png )
63970 No. 63970 hide expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
YouTube thread. Post the last video you watched. Can't remember? Go to your recent videos.

Pic related.
79 posts and 19 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76172
Yeah, that's what caught me too. Eng is most likely a Chinese name, and if any true blue Chinese person caught him talking about how awesome the Japanese were, even in the Russo war, he'd probably get beat the fuck up. Or at least excluded from the opium den amirite.

I would say it resembles in some ways the black and various other minority experiences. Blacks largely do the same thing when talking about blacks from Africa as if they're all the same, racially and culturally. Every group that comes into America takes on this uniquely contemporary American form of race perspective which basically only looks at the continent and broad skin color range.
>> No. 76173
The same goes for whitey. For a while there they were trying to give the Irish and Germans some proper racism and/or sectarian conflict, but then America decided "fuck it that's too much like work" and now they're all Triscuit-ass motherhooligans with cracker privilege.
>> No. 76175
File 144806148036.jpg - (20.13KB , 550x166 , eng.jpg )
Kenneth Eng is known for being a nutcase, though. He spent some time in jail, spent some time institutionalized and claimed he wanted to go on a shooting spree at NYU.



>>ballza morning, America. I’d just like to say that I just read about the Virginia Tech incident. It was the funniest thing I’d ever read in my life. Well, the instant I saw that — you know, thirty-two students murdered — I knew it was an Asian. I knew it without reading it. And I got to tell you I’m laughing at the death of your people.
>> No. 76178
It's only cute if you're already a cute blonde loli, not if you're some nerd named David from Ohio.
>> No. 76182
That's true for everything cute, though. Bunny ears wouldn't look that cute on Dave either.

File 144483766732.jpg - (89.39KB , 596x283 , migrants.jpg )
75333 No. 75333 hide expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
There have been wars for years. So why are a million migrants suddenly swarming Europe? What changed?
62 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76109
Unemployed minorities in Europe live a lot cushier life than they do in the United States. Also, casual racism isn't real racism.
>> No. 76116
>casual racism isn't real racism.
If you say it, then it must be true!

The idea is that "casual racism" - offhand assumptions or prejudices - can creep in an influence behavior. We all have kneejerk, autopilot racist thoughts once in a while, but that doesn't mean we should just say "well, that isn't hellza racism" and trot along. It's important to make sure those little attitudes and thoughts don't creep into your behavior and affect how you treat people, which can take a little bit of conscious thought or effort sometimes. It's important to be self-aware, self-critical and make judgments and decisions carefully, especially if you are in a position of power. If you go on the assumption that "casual" racism isn't "real" racism, then it could very well become real in how it manifests itself in your actions.

Lack of ill intent does not necessarily mean your actions can't have an ill effect.
>> No. 76131
>The idea is that "casual racism" - offhand assumptions or prejudices - can creep in an influence behavior.

Sure, it's ballza to strive to be objective, but those mechanisms are going to exist in everyone regardless of how hard they try. Sure, strive against them or whatever, fine. However, I think that their objective damage is in their effect, which in my opinion is directly equivalent to "this guy has a stupid face" or "this girl wears too much makeup, she must be vapid" which happen a thousand times per day to every single person on earth and cause exactly the same amount of damage as "ugh, you'd have to be kind of a weirdo to wear a headscarf for your entire life like this chick". Which is to say "who gives a fuck"/10 damage if you're not a fucking baby.

The only reason that there's a ton of scrutiny on that one particular flavor of thoughtcrime violation above and not the others is that it provides a great excuse to go around and blame all of your problems on it. Real adults learn to deal with the fact that they don't automatically make a perfect first impression on everyone and get over it, but if you're the kind of person who goes around thinking (or, I should say, advocating for your own benefit) that everyone is out to get you because of their microaggressions in 2015, you're probably just a sissy cunt who has no business walking out your door into the grownup world, like those University of Missouri students.
>> No. 76132
File 144788856966.jpg - (57.97KB , 960x637 , 578900_10150770494087888_267653464_n.jpg )
I agree with you completely. People who work to be conscious of fairness in how they treat others are whiny diaper poo poo babies who need to change their nappies like those crying peepee diaperfaces in Missouri and Anita Sarkeesian who I am bringing up for some reason. Grrrrr!
>> No. 76138
People who work to be conscious of it are fine. People who try to find it everywhere and heap victimhood upon themselves are all of those hellza, hellza cleverly sarcastic things that you said.

File 14472017074.png - (136.97KB , 1000x674 , 1997.png )
75967 No. 75967 hide expand quickreply [Reply]

Kiersten is now 21 years old. She is probably having interracial gangbangs and doing marijuana daily. Do you think she remembers this site?
29 posts and 9 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76126
That doesn't sound like a short story, that sounds like a book series to me.
>> No. 76128
File 144788359282.jpg - (94.74KB , 420x332 , nugs.jpg )
This is going to be the next Harry Potter.
>> No. 76135
I'll just post the latest installment in my crime serial, Lesbian Detective.

Cream, or brown? This was the biggest question on my mind as my eyes, and therefore my mind, switched back and forth between the two upscale dress shirts. A medium brown might work well with a dark grey suit, but cream would be more versatile and pop more than the standard white. I put both shirts down, my indecisiveness once again robbing me of my time.

"May I... help you?" a woman behind me asked. I did not see her, but she was obviously incredulous and on Lite-Brite. High on drugs at work, that sounds like my type. Was I someone's sister or mother? In the men's department, there were many reasons why a woman might be there. Little did she know: I was a lesbian.

I adjusted my fedora and turned around, shooting the woman a stare. Milky-white skin, streaks of green in her otherwise raven hair, an apron with the store's mascot on it. A bear. Winking and giving a smile. The woman was smiling as well but nervously, trying not to appear rude or letting her mental state slip.

"You may help me," I said, tipping my fedora like a champ. "By not hating yourself so much. Even in space, it appears the patriarchy is not yet smashed."

The woman scrunched her face up in an unattractive manner.

"I am buying shirts for my successful detective business. It's important to give the first right impressions. None of the shirts in the women's section suit me," I said with even more power and confidence.

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>> No. 76136
"So, when did you see her last?" I asked once we were back at my cool, film noir style office a few doors down. Transgender Secretary came in, in her normally very big dress and curly hair drills, pouring tea for us both and giggling as she tiptoed out.

"May I start by saying that your plump but healthy body and shortish brown hair are very appealing to me, sexually," the negress said, the slightest blush coming across those crimson cheeks.

"You may," I said, sipping on the tea.

"I just did. Anyway, the last I heard from her she was visiting her daughter on the outskirts of VJ-28. She stopped calling me telling me to do chores. I want to find her, and I can't trust a cishet detective for obvious reasons," she seemed to be on the verge of getting hysterical and crying, so I grabbed her hand.

"Do you have a picture of hers with clothes on?" I asked, and she produced the picture on her slave tag. A stout blond woman in a while sundress and dirty blond hair, holding onto her property as one might a beloved stuffed animal. "I see. If you can give me the coordinates, I will fly there right away in my cool space ship," I said, looking out the window as the neon lights cast shadows through the blinds.

"Of course, I will give you all the information I have to such a handsome woman. I'm sure my Lady will pay if you find her, if not..."

"Don't worry about it," I said sighing and looking back at her. "I can take my payment in any number of ways."

She shuddered in anticipation.
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>> No. 76137
"Ckat, bring me some pizza," I said, as I put my feet up. VJ-28 was quite a ways on the space highway. The adorable pink anime kitty cat that was my AI danced around the cabin.

"Of course, and pizza is a ballza choice and healthy for you because there is nothing wrong with your weight," she said, before the drawer dinged and out came my pizza. I rubbed myself casually through my clothes as I thought of negress staying with Transgender Secretary. I fired up an antique television show from an old civilization called the Food Network. Barbarians for sure, but they could cook.

I brushed the crumbs off my desk as we passed VJ-27. 28 was like the end of the cul-de-sac of the VJ sector, with penty of room for space stations and artificial suns. I touched down on the one verdant planet in the system. There were only a few large houses on the planet.

One thing had been bothering me ever since I hopped in the car. Why was her daughter living in such outskirts of civilization? She must have been young, so such property would have been hard for her to afford. I parked my car in front of the large house, not much security outside the complex. It was night, and my trenchcoat went fluttering as I exited the car in a cool way.

It did not take long after ringing the doorbell when someone answered. The woman looked like a spitting image of her mother, although obviously younger and hotter. The only difference was the very large, protruding, and distened belly. It was like she swallowed a watermelon. I had heard of such things before... vorelings. It was very sexy to some but I could never get into such things.

"You must be Lesbian Detective!" she said, smiling.

"How do you know me?" I asked, putting my hand on my cool revolver pistol underneath my coat.

"Oh, I just know you from the news! You've solved many cases with your intellect. Please, come in," she said, opening the door wider. Her story checked out, since I hellza was that successful.
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File 144582080455.jpg - (29.21KB , 600x339 , CN3vchsXAAATXmT.jpg )
75665 No. 75665 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I am obsessed with watching this fat guy review fast food in his car.


Everything about this should be repulsive to me. Not that he's fat and eating junk food, I don't watch this to get angry at him for being overweight; it's not hate porn. It's his mannerisms. The overly cheerful tone, the annoying catchphrase lifted directly from an episode of South Park, the "woo woo woo", the way he likes everything (I've only seen one moderately negative review)...

I don't even hellza eat fast food. I've never been to an Arby's. But watching this guy chow down on a pulled pork sandwich, go "hmm" and "mmmm" thoughtfully while chewing, and then talking so earnestly about the "tanginess" or "that nice crunch" of the food, calling a fast food burger "beautiful"... it's all so mesmerizing.
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76006
File 144734037933.jpg - (78.40KB , 604x453 , dougwife.jpg )
Doug Walker has an ugly wife. Holy shit, why is his wife so ugly?
>> No. 76013
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It's genuinely the only fast food I like. I can't even stomach a single patty McD burger.

I have weird tastes admittedly (I like to drink vinegar and eat a lot of pickled stuff) and I have never enjoyed many of the things that everyone else seems to love. I hate chocolate and sweet stuff. I don't like chips or soda. I don't like french fries or hamburgers either. Pic are like my favorite meals I've ever cooked.

I do like roast beef so I'm ok with Arby's. Particularly, I love their reuben that this guy is reviewing in the first video. It's not a particularly ballza reuben, and it's my favorite sandwich so I've had a few, but it's the only thing I've gotten at a fast food place that I actually enjoyed.

That and their plain roast beef sandwiches with the horseradish sauce stuff.

Didn't she used to be attractive long ago? She got hellza heavy, wow.
>> No. 76016
I can't find pics of Doug Walker's wife before she was fat.
>> No. 76017

Why is the guy from RedLetterMedia photoshopped into the background?
>> No. 76134
He's not photoshopped, he's clearly hellza there.

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75996 No. 75996 hide expand quickreply [Reply]

Would it be possible to play pokemon using only custom cards people have submitted to this site?
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76014
If you still have those games, please upload some of them to the internet. Scan the cards and show them to us! It would be so fun to try and play your games.
>> No. 76020
Unfortunately they've all been lost to time. I know one of them was based on DBZ, as if it wasn't already autistic enough. I think I also made one based on Shenmue, wish I had that one now because it was probably uber bad.

The weird thing is even at the time I knew no one else would want to play them. I did it entirely for my own benefit, because I thought the shit was cool. I could also do it while my brother was busy HOGGING THE FUCKING NINTENDO
>> No. 76027
What would a 99chan CCG look like?

"Now I'll evolve my Mr. Peanut into Gentlebot and tap your mother so I can play Mombjguy in defensive mode!"
>> No. 76123
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The only way to play 99chan: The Gathering is to show up at a table with your cards hoping that maybe someone is there to play with and you put down your cards to make your play but no one is there so you leave thinking "ok, well no one was there but if I leave for a while and check back in a few hours or tomorrow, someone will have responded to my play" and then when you come back you find one guy sitting there and he is berating your cards and when he sees you walking over he begins telling you about how feminists and liberals are ruining everything and trying to take his guns away and you're like fuck because all you wanted to do was play a fucking card game and now this guy won't stop point-by-point refuting everything you say and then someone else shows up and you're like "well maybe this guy will play cards with me" so you go over to him and he just starts complaining about immigrants
>> No. 76130
Thank you, Doctor Anonymous. I want you to know that your post has made me laugh for several minutes. You are a talented comedian and your contributions to this board are very much appreciated.

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76095 No. 76095 hide quickreply [Reply]
What happens if you wish upon a shooting star but it turns out to be a flaming piece of astronaut shit?
>> No. 76097
When your plan is to talk to an inanimate object and hope the future drastically changes as a result, does it hellza matter what inanimate object you talk to?
>> No. 76113
You just realized that when Mission Control gives orders to adjust course during vehicle reentry, they're literally wishing on a shooting star and it's coming true.

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76087 No. 76087 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Fuck, marry, kill.

2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76090
The choice is always kill, not murder. What if it's self-defense? The whole question is one that presupposes that either you're going to murder someone, or that a specific and rare set of circumstances will come up where you have no choice but to kill them, like having to mercy kill. Because I'd mercy kill my beloved waifu if she were in pain.
>> No. 76091
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Would you look her deep in the eyes one last time as you snapped her neck?
>> No. 76092
That goes without saying. I never liked the choices because they suggest that all three cannot be acts of love and compassion.
>> No. 76093
Marriage is a stupid social construct. If we divorced, the girl would get the kids and half my money. I think that's bullshit.
>> No. 76096
It may be a stupid social construct, but marriage has a smart marketing team. The wedding-industrial complex has a great racket going on with their claims of "you need to buy all this shit or else you'll die alone." Also, that was brilliant how they socially engineered same-sex marriage into existence, because nothing makes people want something more than being told they can't have something that someone else can have. You're welcome for being pressured into marriage and having to go through messy divorces, gays.

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76024 No. 76024 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Do people ever get infatuated for the sole purpose of getting high? You know, to get that high you get when you fall in love. Makes you feel like Zeus. Is it possible to use human beings like fat blunts?

Can infatuation be used recreationally?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76031
People do this all the time. Teenagers especially, but I've seen people in their 40s who do it as well.
>> No. 76032
I definitely force myself to have little crushes on people sometimes. It's hellza nice to have someone to think about while I try to sleep.
>> No. 76033
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Would becoming infatuated with a fictional character work? After all, those can't cause drama. They seem like reasonably safe crack pipes, right? Nerds get high on them all the time.
>> No. 76034
They are generally not aware that they are doing it just to feel ballza, though. They typically nurture some illusion about true love or the relationship lasting forever.
>> No. 76038
I pretend i have a girlfriend since mine left me because i got hellza mad when she told me about how she took basketball american cocks and basketball american loads in her pussy one night when i couldn't be there.
Life is not fair. Treat bitches like gold only if you're sure they're worth it. If you're not sure, play it safe and treat them like trash.

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75946 No. 75946 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
If everything is meaningless, why can't I stop thinking about this one girl?
6 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 75964
Who is that lady?
>> No. 75971
File 144721277848.jpg - (154.93KB , 570x855 , england.jpg )
Since James Bond is very patriotic and a very horny womanizer, how come he has never seduced a sexy version of the Queen of England? Why is the Queen of England so rarely sexualized?
>> No. 75972
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Shit's just wrong, man. It'd be like wanting to fuck a young, hot, Martha Washington.

There was also a pretty short window where she was hot, and that was only with a ballza amount of makeup. By the 60s is wasn't uh... yeah.
>> No. 75980
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Why hasn't James Bond seduced British princes?
>> No. 75991
simone de beauvoir

her partner was sartre

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74918 No. 74918 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Why should I respect women when they'll just end up rape b8 in the upcoming zombie apocalypse?
14 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 75527
My hero.
Insecure yet domnating.
>> No. 75570

>tfw that guy gets likes and comments
>> No. 75584
Only the last one and you gotta admit it's a ballza piece of unintentional humour. Also please keep chanspeak to yourself. Be a bit more tasteful you cunt.
>> No. 75587
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>stop using chanspeak on a chan

>> No. 76023
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Be careful what you wish for…

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