This is ...odd... It sounds like a stupid sitcom, but this is what's up.

I've been on a particularly bad dry spell lately. But, I don't meet many people, available singles in particular. Over the weekend, I got together with some friends, and they said they want me to come out, and that they support me. And they gave me the number of a guy who has a crush on me and want me to get together with him.

But I'm a straight man.

I tried explaining this to them, but they insisted that I wasn't being honest with them and that it was alright if I needed some time. I managed to get out of the conversation without lying to them. I'm just not sure how to explain this to them, they seemed pretty adamant that I'm gay. If I were, I suppose there wouldn't be a problem, the guy in question is a fine chap even. Help?!

Now let me start out by saying I'm young - I'm 18, and I've been in my share of silly young relationships across my life so I know what they're like; for the past twenty-six months of my life, I've been in the first serious relationship I've ever had and although for many the first love is not the last, I don't think it HAS to be that way. I'm a different guy, and I have real strong morals and beliefs and I'm a bit concerned that a lot of people today, especially of my age, don't understand those things.

This relationship has given me..just..I can't even word it. She makes me so happy, makes me laugh so much, amazes me so deeply - I come to tears sometimes when I take her home, just because of how awful it feels to be away from her for even a little while. Her personality is..wonderful; she literally embodies what I want, and personifies what I want: her values, her looks, her personality..she's just everything, man, and for the first half of this relationship, I was never happier but then we had a horrid argument a couple of months ago, around November of last year, and although arguments are arguments I ended up suffering from sexual performance anxiety following this argument; couldn't perform, get it up, etc. anxiety - this kind of led to a vicious cycle that tormented me over the span of that month, made me avoid my girlfriend because of feelings of disappointing her or not pleasing her (despite the fact she told me 'it's just sex and doesn't matter'), however I eventually recovered from that cycle..but during this cycle, I basically gained a mechanism of just obsessively questioning everything about myself - at one point, my attraction for her (she's beautiful as can be.), my sexuality (yeah, seriously.), and eventually, my love for her. The latter sent me into an extreme panic mode that endured for quite some time; I was having panic attacks over the concept in my head, the concept I didn't love her anymore.

I eventually worked past all of this, and saw a therapist for a while; got to a point where there was no anxiety aside from ruminations about my performance (that just kind of lingered but I learned how to prevent it from actually affecting me, the same thing with my doubts over my feelings - they all lingered, but I learned how to just keep them in the back of my head and they never really mattered.) and I was sure of my feelings; in fact, there were sometimes when I was never more sure of it, when I felt like I loved her even more than before because it seems like now she's opening up to me more socially as our relationship goes longer and longer (she was always kind of shy) and the more she does, the more wonderful and hilarious she turns out to be. Let me say that I've always had anger problems, and problems with overthinking and catastrophizing things (I didn't even learn how to ride a bicycle as a child because of my fears of hurting myself, crashing, falling, etc. - this also tormented me in highschool.) and our relationship is..great. It really is. We can tell each other anything, we can do anything together and still be happy(like just watching television.), we talk about our plans for the future often, we both love everything about each other, we both have a great sex life (since I recovered from my anxiety.), we have all the trust in the world for each other, etc. it's just awesome, especially compared to so many relationships of people my age today.

Recently..my anxiety has been resurfacing for reasons I'm not even sure of. Just kind of randomly, and it always seems so convincing when it comes; it's like this feeling of emptiness in my stomach, or rather, numbness, towards everything and I start to think that I'm not even capable of love because I get to a point where I'll even question myself on my love for, say, my own mother! I know all of that isn't true, but it just badgers me in my brain and I don't like it. It prevents me from fully embracing my relationship, I feel, and makes me hold this horrible feeling like I don't love her, like something's wrong with it, or like I have to leave - I hate those feelings. I really do. They're just terrible. I wanted to see if anyone has ever had a similar experience, or if anyone can give me some advice - I don't want my relationship to be buried under my doubts and confusions, I want my relationship to last as long as it possibly can - my life, if possible. I want to be committed, I want to be with her, I want all of this. That right there is one of the reasons I'm even posting this thread. If it's not broken, don't fix it, but how do I 'unlearn' this anxious mechanism? It's like because I thought like that once, my brain just can't let it go. When this first happened - I made tons of threads on websites, etc. to talk about it and finally just stopped when I started to feel normal and never thought I'd find myself here again but here I am. To some extent, sitting here talking about it, I just start to feel 'wow this is ridiculous' and feel kinda normal for a little bit but then once I stop, my ruminations eventually resurface.

So there's this girl that I met online maybe a month or so ago. To say the least, we've clicked.

I'd like to ask her out on a date. However...
1)She lives about 1:30 from me.
2)She does not own a car.
3)I know little to nothing about the town that she lives in.

Given these, any suggestions on where to go/what to do on the date?

Over winter break I met a girl at a firefly marathon. We hit it off right away and stayed up all night talking, but she lived 250 miles away from me. We ended up talking after that night, first via text, then skype, and then it turned into a long distance relationship. I visited 3 times, and at first it was awesome, but we both ended up stressing about the situation more than enjoying it, and were exhausted as a result. Part of this is because I have some panic/anxiety that I have yet to decipher with my therapist, but I know it acts up when I have a lot of emotions on the line, so relationships have been difficult lately. The last time I visited her, we almost had sex, but had to stop because she had a panic attack in bed. So I guess we have anxiety in common, not sure though. It was just really traumatic for her and that was when we both knew the whole thing was going to end.

We broke up after 2 months of all this, about a week after the panic attack, and things actually went pretty fine from there. We were both very sad about it immediately, and after a few days of being depressed, I started to recover well enough. I have no idea how she's doing, because she is a bit closed off emotionally.

We had both planned on seeing each other over spring break, and it was going to be with that same group from the firefly marathon. So these past 2 days we hung out with them. It was almost debilitating for me. I could barely eat, I was socially exhausted by the middle of it, and the whole time we were both playing it off like there was nothing wrong. Now I feel set back on the whole recovery. I honestly thought I would be fine with the situation, but the stress was unbearable.

She texted me toward the end of our time together and asked if I wanted to talk about anything, but it was too late and I was in no condition to have a serious talk like that. She left about 15 minutes later. Even though I didn't have a talk with her last night, I just want to know how she's doing, if she misses me at all. We didn't break up because we didn't want to be with one another, we broke up because we COULDN'T be with one another, and I've never been in this type of mindfuck before.

I know she would talk to me if I asked her to, but I'm honestly afraid she's moved on much farther than I have, and I'd come out of the conversation feeling embarrassed and overly attached, just like every other romantic scenario I've been in.

Other than that, I just don't know what to do. Help.

There is this girl i love lets call her girl j. We had both been casually dating for just over a year including breaks. She treated me like shit and i wouldnt talk to her until she was nice again. We both were on a sex dry spell for about four years prior to meeting eachother, she still hasnt had sex. Well on the second break i had slept with girl a and broke it off for girl j. On the second break i slept with girl s which was her friend. Well we saw eachother 2 months into me and girl s's dating span and i broke it off with girl s for girl j. I told girl j that me the 'other girls' relationship wasnt serious. I stayed the night and we got all cuddly and afterwards i told her that it was girl s. A day later she found out that we were together for two months and flipped, i later revealed that we had slept together she got more upset, this actually hurt her really bad. i managed damage control but she asked me if there were any others and i told her no. Then she asked me to come clean about anything i should tell her and i told her that me and girl a cuddled a little. Today we hung out and she told me that if i ever told her a lie or half truth again she would call it good and wash her hands of me. It is possible that she will find out about girl a. It is eating me up inside not telling her because out of this WHOLE past year this is the closest we have ever been. I dont want to lose her but I think i might have to tell her before someone else does, it has been four months since girl a and i dont think its out there but in the future its possible. Its unfair that i keep this secret from her but i dont want to let the past mess up my future with girl j. Should i risk it and tell her or should i let it flourish and let time take care of my demons.

I don't even know if I'm looking for any particular advice, but I've got a lot of my mind need some perspective. I fucked up. I destroyed the only serious relationship I ever had because I was immature and cowardly. In one person I've squandered the single person I loved more than anything else and my very best friend. I've shamed myself and I don't know if I can ever find absolution.

Here's what happened. In January, X. and I took a trip. It was going swimmingly, but I didn't ave the courage to talk about a big thing on the horizon for us as a couple. It really hurt X and the trip ended sourly. BUT, a week later we reconciled and things seemed to be heading in the right direction again.

But, well, I'm dumb and they weren't. In early February I got a (full-time) job, and X. got accepted into a new school program. I should have been up front, I should have went to her and talked about what would happen, but I was scared and didn't know what to do. See, part of the contract also meant that I'd owe a large sum of money to the company if I left before a certain time period (the company paid for various clearances for me.)

What happened next is unforgivable and worth warning before hand. I caught a bad cold the week before starting the new job (second week of Feb.), I went over to see X. anyway and we had sex. She had asked me to come over, that evening, and I was concerned that she'd be upset if I told her I was too sick, especially when I had felt fine that day and thought myself to be over the cold. I feel as though I forced myself on her, when I should have been responsible and excused myself. I am a rapist.

X. came down with my cold, missed a school interview as a result, and me, thinking she was mad at me, didn't reach out to her. She would later tell me she had just wanted me to do just that much. We broke up in the third week of February.

We had previously split up once before, but were talking again a week later, so a week later I tried reaching out to her via email but received no response. I tried twice more via text, and still received no response. She and her sister have blocked me on Facebook.

I feel like shit. Honestly, I want to be dead. I deserve it for what I did to her. I feel like I sold her for a meaningless job when I was at least stable, if very broke before. I want to reach out to her and apologize, but I don't want to force her to have to be brought back to that. I want my friend back, but know I'll never have that again. And I want to be mature enough to move on, but I can't and it's eating me up.

I'm a 21-year-old female college student. We started dating two years ago, when he was still working on his degree. He's now out in the working world, but he lives near campus and we try to spend as much time together as possible. I've dated other people in the past, but he never had any women interested in him before me.

The only problem is that I don't find him sexually appealing. Everything else is great. We have most values and personality traits in common, but I just don't find him attractive or enjoy sex with him. We've only ever had each other as sexual partners, so I have no one else to compare him to.

How should I attempt to fix my problems with attraction to him? I usually have sex with my eyes closed, or tilting my head in such a way that it looks like I'm writhing in pleasure but can't see his face well. If that doesn't work, should we break up? Am I a bad girlfriend for being bothered by his appearance and not-terribly-desirable sexual technique?

It feels like my heart is breaking every time I talk to him. I got involved, knowing that he had the intentions of getting back with his ex. I denied my feelings for him until the very end and now that he's really with her again, it hurts.

We still talk every now and then, once a week or so. I don't believe him when he says that we'll be together again, or that he misses me or that his feelings for me are real. Actions speak louder than words, and he chose her. At the same time, I know I'm so infatuated with him that I wish he'd leave her to be with me. And I'd take him back in a heartbeat. I don't like being second best, the back up plan. I am genuinely upset with him and yet when we start talking I forgive and forget and just feel happy that he's giving me the time of day.

I'm disgusted with myself for living like this. I have been dating since he moved on and I can't feel anything for the men that I have been seeing because I am still wrapped up with my feelings for him. I want to move on, but at the same time I don't, because I want him back. I deserve better than this, but my heart is telling me that he's the only one I want. I know that I'm just another woman with daddy issues, desperate to feel loved and willing to accept situations like this but that's not what I want anymore.

How do I move on? What can I do to start focusing on myself and being happy? I don't want to lose the hope of being with him, but I don't want to be in this situation anymore. I know I deserve better but the desire is still there..

I am 21 year old virgin. I think about my virginity all the time. It is creating a huge problem.

I feel like I need to lose it ASAP. I'm considering losing it to a hooker or anyone. I feel uncomfortable with females and I'm starting to believe I can't make any sexual advance on a woman because I'm too much of a pussy. I think I'm too much of a pussy because I'm 21 and haven't even had a REAL kiss. What do I do? I'm not ugly, fat, annoying, or creepy. I might be "plain" at worst. Recently I have started to over-masturbate, like 6 or more times a day. It is making me depressed. What is wrong with me /docta/?

12 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>

Anonymous 13/02/09(Sat)22:17 No. 2307 File 136046624197.png - (120.73KB , 300x2800 , Virgin1[1].png ) >>2201 Reducing the ability to ejaculate as quickly sounds good in theory, but years of desensitization and porn might be all you need for that. An extra drink on top of all that won't hurt, though, because it's nice to be able to brag that your first time you flat wore her out.

>>	Anonymous 13/02/10(Sun)04:04 No. 2312 >>2307 god I wish watching porn and jacking off nonstop gave me hours of stamina

>>	Anonymous 13/02/10(Sun)12:08 No. 2313 >>2201 >Reduces the ability to ejaculate, also reduces anxiety. And reduces the ability to gain and maintain an erection.

>>	Anonymous 13/02/11(Mon)12:49 No. 2328 >>2312 Stop using so much lube and squeeze harder. Instant nerve damage! SAGE has been used.

>>	Anonymous 13/03/30(Sat)23:26 No. 2397 I'm a 21 year old virgin and I honestly feel like I'm not ready to lose it yet (been in the situation a few times and backed out) I want to get a purity ring to make it offical to myself. A promise to myself that I will get better and I wont lose it until then

hey docta, I seek a little advice;

There is a girl I know, sort of. she was a few years younger than me and I knew her in high school through her brother. Her brother and I aren't exactly best friends or anything, merely acquainted now. In fact I don't think I've really talked to him since graduation. We were buds at the time, but I think we only hung out at LANs.

Keep in mind, I moved away from my home town right after I graduated, so seeing/talking to people in person isn't exactly a convenience.

Anyway, his sister, really freakin cute. I never really talked to her that much, I did give her a ride home from school once (about 5 years ago, mind you) and high school was definitely the last time that I've talked to her in person. She and I are friends on facebook, and I think we've only had one conversation, and that was a couple months ago. Since that time there have been frequent liking of the status and pictures, things like that. The girl is obviously aware of my existence. There was the occasional likes prior to our conversation, but it picked up afterward.

So I've just come back to my hometown for an extended amount of time and I'd like to take her out, but I despise doing that sort of thing via facebook. I'm not against doing it, but I'd much rather not. I sort of feel that, that's my only approach in this situation though. Also, I really don't know how I would phrase that I'd like to take her out. Be blunt about it, sure, but I can't really use the "lets catchup" line because we never really knew each other that well in the first place.

So how do you think I should go about doing this? Try to spark a conversation on facebook and slowly lead into she and I hanging out?

pic unrelated

I'll make my story as quick as possible, maybe somebody can offer some insight that I haven't already gotten. Thanks in advance.

I fell in love with this girl a couple years ago, but I barely knew her. I ended up pursuing her and becoming her friend, but she friend zoned me. Back then I was fat, a recluse, socially inept, bitter, distanced, and asocial to say the least. I went through a lot of life changing experiences, both because of her and outside of her, and I've emerged a different person over time. Throughout the past two years we have gotten closer and closer, where our entire friendship was built over trust and honesty.

We shared the deepest details of our lives, including our suicidal thoughts, struggles, depressions, worries, anxieties, etc. She and I have helped each other grow as human beings. She's younger than I am. She's gone through multiple relationships, I've stayed single and sexually frustrated.

I told her my feelings originally, and she dismissed it as not knowing enough about her. Over time I've gotten to know more about her, and I've had many adventures in my car with her, but nothing has really changed. I've seen her go after my friends, I've heard stories about her from other people, I've heard her called slut, etc. I don't know if all of that is true, or if she is a tease that has left behind a trail of pissed off men (and women).

Regardless, we have been able to stay friends through a few stages of ignoring each other. The last few she has ignored me.

About half a year ago, I lost my virginity to an old friend. I told her everything about it, and she was holding my hand and seemed rather excited about it. Later, as I was getting out of her car at my house, she blurted out "I love you" as she drove away. I asked about it later and she seemed distant about it.

We started holding hands more towards the end of her last relationship, and we had more intimate conversations. I've considered myself asexual up to this point, but I actually feel turned on around her. She has anxiety issues and she seemed to have a hard time looking into my eyes, but over time we were able to have much more intimate conversations.

Towards the end of last year, I was at her house and she had taken a shower. She was in just a bath towel, and that was turning me on more than I've ever experienced. She later was downstairs cooking in just shorts and a tank top, and I completely switched something on. I came from behind her and embraced her, but realized that I shouldn't have done that. Fast forward a few days later, she's telling me we can't cuddle or hold hands anymore, and she needs space.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

Hi /docta/,

I am seeing a girl whom I like very much. She is a few years older than me and has years of relationship experience, compared to my months. We are both serious about finding someone to settle down with and see in each other that potential someone. Last night we had a talk that centered around my lack of relationship experience. In a nutshell, she told me she doesn't want to have to teach someone how to have a relationship. This is the only thing about me that she finds concerning, and I have told her a lot of things.

I understand her position, and I will do whatever I need to so that this is not an issue. We both prefer taking things slowly, and I told her that I was letting her set the pace (which she didn't realize, but was OK with when I explained this to her) but I know if this is going to work I need to take some initiative. I need some advice on where to start. I'm a nice guy, considerate, polite, but I don't know how to be romantic or really what I'm supposed to do in a relationship.

/docta/, I need your help big time.

>tl;dr My closest friend is pretty much the only person in my life willing to help me rebuild myself and I am afraid my emotions and my impulsions will tear us apart.

I have this close friend of mine. She's 21. Let's call her Maria.

I am a 25 year old guy. To put you in context, we met in a youth shelter when I was 19 and homeless. As I met her, I felt like we got along great and kept contact since after the shelter. Eventually, life got in the way and we have been in contact on and off. Along the road, I developed feelings for her. We had sex once because we were drunk and we never really got into any type of love relationship before or afterwards. I was always very protective of her. I always bailed her out because making her happy for me was like reaching heaven. I even bought her once a 100$ grocery shopping on my tab and gave it to her at her doorstep because I went once to her place and she had nothing to eat for herself and her cat. She couldn't get money because she was unable to find a steady job and had no working experience. I then dug into my college fund and payed her that grocery cart without asking anything in return simply for the fact that I felt she was precious to me. I also often accompanied her in parties to keep her ''in check'' because she is dependant on any type of affection and would do anything to feel loved and pretty much fall into any trap that had some form of love as a bait (if that makes any sense).

Fast forward to now where I lost all the friends I had made back then after a break-up. I then got back in contact with her to change my mind. Since then, she has become very beautiful as a woman and tends to have pretty much anyone she wants. I got at some point to tell her my feelings for her and I got pretty much a no-answer as a reponse rather than the friendzone thing. What I mean by that is that she often told me about her sexual excapades and she never said no to the possibility of us sleeping together again but she also says I am like a brother to her.

Also, another thing out of the ordinary for me is that although she knows I have feelings for her, she does not take advantage of me. I seen other women play with my feelings before asking me to get her this and that and if I do, they'll hang out with me. I often was never met with anything more than holding hands or a kiss. They knew I would be a sucker for them if they played my game in telling me they have something for me too but I found out sooner or later they never did. Maria never begged me to give her anything, not even remotely in a subliminal way. Hell, she invites me on her own to her place and shares me her weed when I come over and she feels for smoking.

I told her recently I have been feeling blue and alone since February. I told her about my personal situation and how I feel. She is the only person I am emotionally open to unconditionally. She responded by telling me if I ever (emphasis added about she emphased it herself) feel down to send her a text message to chat. She has shown herself very supportive of me. She has been coaching me like I was coaching her years ago. She is also aware of my victory and losses and how I am generally very distrusting of people. She knows I am aware of I feel and how I work to resolve the issues I have. She is also aware I might lose trust in her at times out of reflex as I do with other people. She always responds in a calm and caring manner although I know it makes her upset. I know because she told me. She told me a few times it makes her sad that I keep doubting her word and how she cares about me. She still encourages me nonetheless because she says I am important to her and she has more self-control than I do because we share similar disorders such as a borderline personality.

I sometimes feel uncomfortable when I speak to her and I have let her know that because again, I have feelings for her. She usually cheers me up but I don't want her to be my main focus for self-worth and happiness. I was telling her today about this topic and yes I do text her often and she brought it up. She was still comforting but direct in how that she knows I am telling her my concerns and I tell her often. She didn't mean that as an accusation but I took it that way. It had rubbed me the wrong way because I have to explain here that she also knows that I am very impulsive and I initially saw that as a form of rejection. She soon followed by ''We'll talk later during the day.'' which felt for me like a ''Yeah right, you will.'' Reason is that the group of friends I known for years that I was with when the break-up happened told me that ''I should seek counciling (which I did)'' and they would not abandon me while I did but of course, they did. I never heard from them again. So when Maria asks me to trust her and when she rubs me the wrong way and then tells me that we'll pick up the conversation later today, I feel like she won't and it saddens me because I want to believe she will call me up on her own to ask me what's up but every inch of me tells me she won't. Since my friends left me, it left a mark in me to never trust someone, not even her who begs me to trust her.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

All right, so a year or two ago,, I met this girl at my parents party that I hung out with. She was extremely friendly and we seem to have gotten along well. I'm now back home and would like to reconnect if only to give myself someone to hangout with. However, other than outright going to her house, the only way I can contact her is through facebook. I'm just wondering if and how I can reconnect with her. I'd be lying if I said I don't want to go out with her, but that's not what I'm after. Besides, it most likely wouldn't work oit.

I have a girlfriend who I love a lot. We're both virgins and she wants to wait until marriage for sex. My attitude on sex is that it's okay as long as you love each other. I love her a lot though so I'd be willing to wait until marriage but it's so difficult! I'm constantly being bombarded by the media about sex. And when I hear of friends that are doing it, I can't help but feel envious. Her reasons are religious and she is strong in her convictions, so I know there's no way of convincing her otherwise. All we've done so far is make out.

I've given up porn because raw sex doesn't appeal to me anymore. I really want to have that intimate feeling of making love with someone I care about deeply.

Everything else about the relationship is perfect. I really want to spend the rest of my life with her, but if we do get married it'll be in years and that's a long time. How do I get over this feeling that I NEED to be having sex, or at least reduce my sex drive?

Dear /docta/,

Can you explain to me the difference between dating and being in a relationship? I always thought the "exclusive" talk was the dividing line, but now I hear people say they "date one person exclusively" from the get go.

/docta/, I have an issue.


I'm getting really cynical and jaded and edgy about love.

Whenever I see a couple happy in love together, I just think of the biological reasoning behind it, why they chose each other, the statistics behind cheating and divorcing...

I can't just seem to accept love. Or rather, believe in it.

If I had evidence, yeah, but most of the relationships i've seen around me have been absolute shit.

Can you cure me of this?

Okay, so this is gonna come out weird, but whatever. (I've also posted about this about 6-7 months ago, so this is an update into my fucked-up life)

A little over a year ago, I met this girl. She is literally the most beautiful fucking girl in the world. I only got to talk to her for a few minutes before she had to leave, and at the same time one of my friends pulled me away, so I couldn't properly figure out who she was or say goodbye properly.
But she stuck in my mind. Since then I've been with/fucked/dated other girls, but even when I've had sex or masturbated, my thoughts often wandered to her. It was definitely damaging to my mental health, and probably damaging to my relationships as well. (Also I know this isn't the greatest reason to like someone, but I can't help it).
So a few months after, I figured out who she was. A friend of one girl who I was loose acquaintances with, and knew mostly because I helped her drunkenly walk back home one night. Being an awkward fuck, I didn't really do anything about it.
A few months after that, I saw her again waitressing at a restaurant, but I never really got a chance to talk to her. Shortly after, I kindof lost touch with her friend as well.

Fast-forward to this past weekend. I'm visiting old college friends, and fate decides that I see her at a party. My nerves are all shit because of how much I've built this up in my head, but I talk to her a bit anyway. About halfway through the night, I awkwardly and apologetically blurt out the short version of the story (something along the lines of "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met"), and before she leaves, I (with spaghetti overflowing from my pockets) managed to say something along the lines of "I know you have no reason to accept, and it's totally okay if you say 'no,' but I was wondering if I could ask you out?"
I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of her "not being ready" for something like that, and that I knew [her friend]. The way she rejected me seemed honestly sincere about it, and that there might be an actual chance that she would say yes in the future.

I'm still trying to make sense of all this, and I'm not sure if I have any specific questions on the matter, but any input on my situation would be appreciated.

(pic not her, but another girl that I find quite pretty)

What do you do when you want a more serious relationship, but your partner does not? I don't want to move on because I like my partner and perhaps as time passes things could change, but my partner does have this ex that is also her best friend. Fuck. What do I do now, /docta/?

Recently, I found out that I will be able to study abroad for 11 months in Japan, and then another 6 in Germany, before returning to the United States. To complicate things further, after returning to the United States for a few months for graduation and to catch up with friends and family, I will return overseas for work. This is something I have been looking forward to for years; however, now that it's come true, things are much more complicated than I could have ever thought.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to two years, and despite both of us caring for each other and him being supportive of my dreams, it's obvious that he is going to have a much more difficult time with me studying abroad. He's the type of guy who wants to see and be with me everyday, and there's no doubt in my mind that we make a really good couple.

The only issue is the reality of it all is starting to sink in, I'm becoming more and more afraid of putting him through that -- no matter how supportive he is, I know that even the strongest relationship won't survive years-and-years of separation. I do still love him, though; because of that, I want him to be able to find someone who will be able to be with him, and not leave him feeling alone and abandoned. I just don't know how to tell him or get him to understand how hard this will be, since I think the reality of it all has not set in for him yet.

What should I do?