Over winter break I met a girl at a firefly marathon. We hit it off right away and stayed up all night talking, but she lived 250 miles away from me. We ended up talking after that night, first via text, then skype, and then it turned into a long distance relationship. I visited 3 times, and at first it was awesome, but we both ended up stressing about the situation more than enjoying it, and were exhausted as a result. Part of this is because I have some panic/anxiety that I have yet to decipher with my therapist, but I know it acts up when I have a lot of emotions on the line, so relationships have been difficult lately. The last time I visited her, we almost had sex, but had to stop because she had a panic attack in bed. So I guess we have anxiety in common, not sure though. It was just really traumatic for her and that was when we both knew the whole thing was going to end.

We broke up after 2 months of all this, about a week after the panic attack, and things actually went pretty fine from there. We were both very sad about it immediately, and after a few days of being depressed, I started to recover well enough. I have no idea how she's doing, because she is a bit closed off emotionally.

We had both planned on seeing each other over spring break, and it was going to be with that same group from the firefly marathon. So these past 2 days we hung out with them. It was almost debilitating for me. I could barely eat, I was socially exhausted by the middle of it, and the whole time we were both playing it off like there was nothing wrong. Now I feel set back on the whole recovery. I honestly thought I would be fine with the situation, but the stress was unbearable.

She texted me toward the end of our time together and asked if I wanted to talk about anything, but it was too late and I was in no condition to have a serious talk like that. She left about 15 minutes later. Even though I didn't have a talk with her last night, I just want to know how she's doing, if she misses me at all. We didn't break up because we didn't want to be with one another, we broke up because we COULDN'T be with one another, and I've never been in this type of mindfuck before.

I know she would talk to me if I asked her to, but I'm honestly afraid she's moved on much farther than I have, and I'd come out of the conversation feeling embarrassed and overly attached, just like every other romantic scenario I've been in.

Other than that, I just don't know what to do. Help.