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2316 No. 2316
Okay, so this is gonna come out weird, but whatever. (I've also posted about this about 6-7 months ago, so this is an update into my fucked-up life)

A little over a year ago, I met this girl. She is literally the most beautiful fucking girl in the world. I only got to talk to her for a few minutes before she had to leave, and at the same time one of my friends pulled me away, so I couldn't properly figure out who she was or say goodbye properly.
But she stuck in my mind. Since then I've been with/fucked/dated other girls, but even when I've had sex or masturbated, my thoughts often wandered to her. It was definitely damaging to my mental health, and probably damaging to my relationships as well. (Also I know this isn't the greatest reason to like someone, but I can't help it).
So a few months after, I figured out who she was. A friend of one girl who I was loose acquaintances with, and knew mostly because I helped her drunkenly walk back home one night. Being an awkward fuck, I didn't really do anything about it.
A few months after that, I saw her again waitressing at a restaurant, but I never really got a chance to talk to her. Shortly after, I kindof lost touch with her friend as well.

Fast-forward to this past weekend. I'm visiting old college friends, and fate decides that I see her at a party. My nerves are all shit because of how much I've built this up in my head, but I talk to her a bit anyway. About halfway through the night, I awkwardly and apologetically blurt out the short version of the story (something along the lines of "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met"), and before she leaves, I (with spaghetti overflowing from my pockets) managed to say something along the lines of "I know you have no reason to accept, and it's totally okay if you say 'no,' but I was wondering if I could ask you out?"
I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of her "not being ready" for something like that, and that I knew [her friend]. The way she rejected me seemed honestly sincere about it, and that there might be an actual chance that she would say yes in the future.

I'm still trying to make sense of all this, and I'm not sure if I have any specific questions on the matter, but any input on my situation would be appreciated.

(pic not her, but another girl that I find quite pretty)
>> No. 2318
"you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met"
Of course people like hearing that they're the most beautiful (whatever) in the world, but that's the kind of thing one says to an already-established romantic partner. Coming from a stranger it's not as romantic as it is creepy.

"I know you have no reason to accept, and it's totally okay if you say 'no,' but I was wondering if I could ask you out?"
This line is almost guaranteed not to be accepted. If you make it clear to her that she'd be doing you a favour by going on a date with you, that is not attractive. This isn't to say that you should be arrogant and egocentric, just don't be down on yourself.
>> No. 2319
I'm sorry, that probably sounded really harsh. Approaching women gets easier with experience, so don't worry too much about it. Yes, it sounds like you didn't make a great impression in this case, but I don't think you sounded like a creep (that was a very unfortunate choice of words on my part), just someone who's awkward. So call it a learning experience, and next time will be easier.
>> No. 2320
>>2319
Yeah I realize that what I did was kinda incredibly awkward. While I normally am fairly awkward, I'm usually not quite that much so... I just knew I needed to do something, and I did. (Really I needed some sense of closure to the feelings I had for this girl, even if they were purely based on looks.)

But the weird thing is that from how she reacted, the impression I made wasn't all *that* awful (I mean, a "maybe later" is better than getting completely shot down, right?)
>> No. 2322
>>2320
Maybe? Not having seen her reaction, I can't say for sure. If she gave you her contact information, that's good. If not, she may just have been trying to let you down easy.
>> No. 2323
>>2322
Well, she basically told me said that I'd be able to find her through the mutual friend, which really gives her all the say in the matter. But I'm assuming that means that either:
1)She really was being sincere about it just being a bad time for her.
or 2)She is fumbled letting me down easy as much as I fumbled asking her out.
>> No. 2348
I think you definitely need to actually establish a connection with this girl before asking her out. Especially because of how head over heels you are. And try not to force it if you can, because then you won't know whether the connection has actually been made or not. If you have similar personalities, similar interests, or just plain get along, then great. Ask her out. Otherwise, there's a much lower chance of it happening.

I've been in your shoes... there was this girl at my youth group who like the first day I met her said something that made me think, "Wow, that's exactly the way I think!" But of course, she didn't know that. And I was fake with my nervousness at that time so I was just kinda douchy to her. I got her number but then I tried too hard to charm her... admittedly she was a little judgemental towards me but that's okay. Anyway, try to establish that connection first before blindly escalating. And try to be yourself. Think of it like this... you're on a higher level of like right now than she is, so you need to level the playing field before escalating.
>> No. 2349
Also, remember, she's just a person. Just like you. She's not a godess. It may seem like it, but she's not. She has flaws, just like you. Just like everyone. And you don't need her/her approval. You will live if you don't receive it.
>> No. 2351
>>2349

This, a thousand times this. It's so common to treat beautiful people differently and awkwardly, just because they're beautiful. A very attractive female friend of mine had actually started hating to get compliments for her looks, because it seems to be the only thing that people compliment her about. I learned a very important lesson from getting closer to her as a person, not as an iconic ideal of beauty.

So often people seem to assume that good looking people, with their seemingly broad choice of romantic partners, don't have the same problems and fears as everyone else, and get treated like some kind of otherworldly being, even though they feel sad, tender, depressed, happy and horny just as often as most of the rest of the human population.

Treat her like more of a normal human being, with real problems, real values, real virtues. She has fears and problems and insecurities just like you do.


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