>but I don't feel very happy, and it felt doubly wrong to try to show myself in that light. I feel like I wouldn't be able to make anyone happy.

I don't think you should be dating if that's how you feel. I think you should wait until you feel happy, then start.

>Ultimately, I feel like I don't deserve to approach someone.

You use your discretion when dating; it's natural. Don't feel too bad about that because it's normal to have one, or several, filters. It's a good sign actually (I think at the moment dating someone with a child is an even worse idea for you, and for them).

Online dating is strange, quite different to what you're used to (and myself I think). It's okay, it's not bad, maybe it's not your cup of tea, maybe you'll do it later.

Don't worry about this 'beta' nonsense, just do what makes you happy. And your friend's urging; well they just have your best interests at heart.

Try Tinder. You're not selling yourself at all. It actually felt like meeting someone in real life to me, with the added bonus of knowing that they have pre-approved you to approach them.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A0OsAVMzW4

All dating success takes is persistence. All persistence takes is caring enough. If you're complaining about it, you probably don't care enough.

Don't bother.

I swear to god this exact thread with this exact picture has been posted on this exact board no less than five times since I started lurking here.

Advice? Do it for the right reason. Don't expect anything, go in with an open mind. Examine yourself and your motives.

Tips? Find someone you trust, meet somewhere public, feel free to back out if you feel uncomfortable continuing.

Caution? Don't get murdered/arrested/whatever.

Search for escort review boards for your city/area and find someone with good reviews.

Your entire life seems compromised: you're coming off of an illness; you're not sleeping in a safe, comfortable place; you're traveling a long distance to school.

Is there any support structure that you have access to? Where are you located that such problems are confronting you? Who might be able to help you?

I suspect that many of your problems are feeding each other: being malnourished and cold all the time does not lead to a healthy mind.

Let's look at some core beliefs here that you keep reiterating;

>I haven't enjoyed my life and I don't think I ever will.
>depressive and anxious by nature.
>things will only get worse the coming years.
>I have no motivation to challenge myself anymore.
>Meditation has made me aware how narcissistic I am. My ego is very sensitive and all my thoughts are self centered.
>I can't understand people.

Always in your life you are repeating a mantra, which defines everything you do. It is a particular sentence, feeling, or idea, and it keeps going round and round. When you're washing your hands, when you're at work, when you're sleeping; it's basically you. Now, we can easily end up with quite negative mantras that affect your life. Imagine doing your daily life with someone following you, constantly saying you're going to mess up what you're doing. You need to change that slowly, over time.

Now, I might talk about you for a bit.

You're 25 and clearly quite talented. You've also suffered a bit, so you've a good dose of maturity; you're quite aware of your feelings and yourself, which is a great thing to have, because you are in-tune with your mind and body. You're also good at your job, and you do a job which requires talent; you earned a degree and now you hold down a job, so you're clearly a very capable adult. Chances are your work is a little boring and you've probably outgrown it. It's also likely that the place isn't running as smoothly as it should be, you might well be understaffed or overworked, and anyway you probably need some challenges to keep you focused.

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You sound depressed, which you simply must fight against with everything you have. A proximal cause seems to be that you do not feel fulfilled by your job any longer, which means one of two things to me: You need to find a different job, or you need to find a hobby.

You cannot negotiate Desire.

This is a very simple principle that most Men and the vast majority of women are willfully ignorant of. One the most common personal problems I’ve been asked advice for in the past 10 years is some variation of “how do I get her back?” Usually this breaks down into men seeking some methodology to return his relationship to an earlier state where a previously passionate woman couldn’t keep her hands off of him. Six months into a comfortable familiarity and the thrill is gone, but in truth it’s the genuine desire that is gone.

It’s often at this stage that a man will resort to negotiation. Sometimes this can be as subtle as him progressively doing things for her in the hopes that she’ll reciprocate with the same sexual fervor they used to have. Other times a married couple may go to marriage counseling to “resolve their sex issues” and negotiate terms for her sexual compliance. He’ll promise to do the dishes and a load of laundry more often in exchange for her feigned sexual interest in him. Yet, no matter what terms are offered, no matter how great an external effort he makes so deserving of reward, the genuine desire is not there for her. In fact, she feels worse for not having the desire after such efforts were made for her compliance.

Negotiated desire only ever leads to obligated compliance. This is why her post-negotiation sexual response is often so lackluster and the source of even further frustration on his part. She may be more sexually available to him, but the half-hearted experience is never the same as when they first met when there was no negotiation, just spontaneous desire for each other.

From a male perspective, and particularly that of an uninitiated beta male, negotiation of desire seems a rational solution to the problem. Men tend to innately rely on deductive reasoning; otherwise known as an “if then” logic stream. The code is often something like this:

I need sex + women have the sex I want + query women about their conditions for sex + meet prerequisites for sex = the sex I want.

Makes sense right? It’s simple economics, but built on a foundation that relies on a woman’s accurate self-evaluations. The genuine desire they used to experience at the outset of their relationship was predicated upon a completely unknown set of variables. Overtly communicating a desire for reciprocal desire creates obligation, and sometimes even ultimatums. Genuine desire is something a person must come to – or be led to – on their own volition. You can force a woman by threat to comply with behaving in a desired manner, but you cannot make her want to behave that way. A prostitute will fuck you for an exchange, it doesn’t mean she wants to.

Whether LTR or a one night stand (ONS) strive for genuine desire in your relationships. Half of the battle is knowing you want to be with a woman who wants to please you, not one who feels obligated to. You will never draw this genuine desire from her by overt means, but you can covertly lead her to this genuine desire. The trick in provoking real desire is in keeping her ignorant of your inent to provoke it. Real desire is created by her thinking it’s something she wants, not something she has to do.

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Regarding abuse, I forgive my mum and dad who abused me cause they were good in some areas and they taught me the utility of anger as a tool for social influence, the use of violence, and how to abuse and manipulate. For them, I am grateful.

>This is a very simple principle that most Men and the vast majority of women are willfully ignorant of. One the most common personal problems I’ve been asked advice for in the past 10 years is some variation of “how do I get her back?” Usually this breaks down into men seeking some methodology to return his relationship to an earlier state where a previously passionate woman couldn’t keep her hands off of him. Six months into a comfortable familiarity and the thrill is gone, but in truth it’s the genuine desire that is gone.

>It’s often at this stage that a man will resort to negotiation. Sometimes this can be as subtle as him progressively doing things for her in the hopes that she’ll reciprocate with the same sexual fervor they used to have. Other times a married couple may go to marriage counseling to “resolve their sex issues” and negotiate terms for her sexual compliance. He’ll promise to do the dishes and a load of laundry more often in exchange for her feigned sexual interest in him. Yet, no matter what terms are offered, no matter how great an external effort he makes so deserving of reward, the genuine desire is not there for her. In fact, she feels worse for not having the desire after such efforts were made for her compliance.

That's not how a functional relationship works. My girlfriend and I have been with each other for close to 3 years, and our sex life gradually has been getting better and better the more time we spend together. A longer relationship means more time to be comfortable and intimate with one another, more time to explore kinks. It means knowing every in and out of your partner, knowing every button you can push. I still learn things when we have sex, and every day we get a little better and a little more generous towards each other. That level of trust and comfort is extremely difficult to replicate in a one-night stand, and it's difficult to replicate if you're having trouble sustaining long term relationships because you've been emotionally manipulating insecure, unstable partners.

I also don't pay for it, dude. I don't know where this misconception is that you have to pay for a date in the 21st century came from. I go dutch with my currently girlfriend most every time. We split taking the bill pretty evenly otherwise, though I've been between jobs recently so she's been paying more than I have. She's a feminist, so we do stuff like that equally. So much for alphabuxandbetabucks. That's what being in a healthy relationship is about. It's built on positivity and trust.

>Negotiated desire only ever leads to obligated compliance. This is why her post-negotiation sexual response is often so lackluster and the source of even further frustration on his part. She may be more sexually available to him, but the half-hearted experience is never the same as when they first met when there was no negotiation, just spontaneous desire for each other.

Yeah, dude, this is why girls don't like as you are. You don't buy girls money to get them to have sex with you. That's not what romance and seduction is about. It's about building an atmosphere of trust, so she's open to exploring herself sexually to you. It's about being generous with your love, about making sure to please each other. The more someone enjoys sex and intimacy with you, the more likely they are to engage in it with you in the future. It's about making sure you show proper affection.

>From a male perspective, and particularly that of an uninitiated beta male, negotiation of desire seems a rational solution to the problem. Men tend to innately rely on deductive reasoning; otherwise known as an “if then” logic stream. The code is often something like this:

>I need sex + women have the sex I want + query women about their conditions for sex + meet prerequisites for sex = the sex I want.

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Shit, I'm fucking blazed and I've spent the past two hours arguing with people in 99chan.

>Yeah, dude, this is why girls don't like you as you are. You don't buy girls things to get them to have sex with you.

Personally I've been getting a bit bored of/with thinking of myself with mental health problems now and my psychologist has confirmed i'm more or less over it. I'm yawning and want the next challenge anyway. There, done, my psychiatry phase of life is done.

Two solutions, which are not mutually exclusive and can be pursued in tandem:

1) Be more proactive in your dating life. Pursue the kinds of girls you want to date. Being the active rather than passive partner will lead to you feeling empowered and more enthusiastic about the girls you date.
2) Consider that maybe you're just not ready emotionally, intellectually, physically, for a monogamous relationship. Can't hold down a long-term relationship? Get bored with a girl after dating her for more than a few weeks? Have flings. Date more than one girl simultaneously. Have one night stands if you want. Have fuckbuddies. Just be sure that you're being upfront about this, communicate your desires and boundaries, and don't lead anyone to think what they have with you is more than it is.

And of course:
3) Seek counseling for your self loathing and fear of abandonment. Many college or university campuses (if you're a student) or community services and organizations (if you're not a student) provide free or affordable counseling options. There will probably be a waitlist but having a trained professional to bounce thoughts and ideas off of and get some feedback will probably be a good tihng.

This is good. Feel your natural instinct flow through you.

Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.

>>3298

Yeah, keep an emotional distance from everyone you're in a relationship. On the one hand, you're going to be emotionally dead on the inside and completely unable to sustain anything long-term. You'll probably miss out on opportunities with the girls you're most compatible with. On the other hand, you'll be able to make your 'women I've slept with chart' have high numbers, and as we all know, life is about having the most numbers, not being happy. That's why it's also good to hoard material goods, and go for the job with the biggest paycheck every time.

>>3298

>Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.

This sentence is complete bullshit. The most attractive quality in any human being is self-confidence, you don't have to put a dated bias into it.

Firstly, psychologists differentiate distress, which is the most commonly referred to type of stress, having negative implications, with eustress which is usually related to desirable events in a person's life. Eustress is not defined by the stressor type, but rather how one perceives that stressor (e.g. a negative threat versus a positive challenge). Because I see all kinds of pressures as opportunities I don’t think of them as something to be dealt with to return to some kind of base state but instead I see pressure as platform to make myself and others feel good about themselves.

When you ANTICIPATE it being more stressful in the future, you are practicing what is called ''defensive pessimisim''. It is actually a strategy that reduces anxiety. However, it is only useful in certain situations. Otherwise, it can create unnecersary stress and force your hand where otherwise you could have held out for a royal flush.

The same goes for the counter-part - strategic optimism, so don't be fooled in thinking these terms are the scientific correlates of optimism and pessimism.

It seems you adopt the third of the three strategies, 'self handicapping' to deal with the final ounce of pressure. You are asking for similar skills and sensible transitions cause you feel dependent on our advice to make a decision where you don't think you can do so on your own. We might have the most bullshit answer and the best explanation, but it's still bullshit. And, you don't NEED one with similar skills to excel in it. Look at your situation more holistically AND more critically. Don't let anything you decide was a mistake help you decide a future decision - it was a fucking mistake after all and you don't want to hang on to that crisis situation for the rest of your life.

But more importantly, consider whether your situation is really that bad, or whether you're just catastrophising it by focusing on all the bad feelings of the next 20 years in this very moment. In reality, we only have to deal with each moment at a time and the good and bad in that moment to survive and be happy. You might even find that there isn't that much good OR bad in a moment.

There's just you and your skills. And those are the skills allow you to get any job you want.

>>3141
That makes a lot of sense.
Truth is, I'm going through a rough time right now for a few reasons that I won't get into and yes, I'm finding myself dwelling on negative things much more than I usually do. So this is good advice. Thank you.

You could always go back to school.

>>3142

Fair enough OP.

Ruminating and venting isn’t processing. It’s pouring fuel on the fire.

Most problems have causes which no amount of reflection will uncover.

overthinking was designed by evolution to trigger depression and abandonment, not effective problem solving.

>I have no motivation in life.

Stop waiting to find or get motivation. Ironically, you get motivation AFTER doing things.

>Simply lack the will and ability to go around and do something in my life.

This is your opinion and you need to change it. It is not fact, this is your choice to limit yourself.

>realize I'm in a slow downward spiral.

Act now and change.

>Any time I have to face adversity or go out of my comfort zone I either curl inside my room or I just fuck up things so bad I don't want to do it again for a while.

Unless you physically harm someone or insult them directly, it's not really fucking things up so badly. You think it's bad, but that is in your head not everyone else's.

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Counseling.

OP here.
>>3272
>you get motivation AFTER doing things.
That is one thing about life I never really realized. Thanks for that.
The rest of your points I know one way or another.
Just feels good getting reassured so I don't hit the depressive cycle again.



It's kinda weird, but I feel getting advice from some anonymous person who doesn't know my situation is actually more helping me than going to a therapist or talking with other people. It's like hearing a truth that pierces trough the bullshit fog that is all around me.

>>3286 We who congregate on this place tend to be a proud lot, and asking for help is easier when you are begging of those who you do not truly know than someone whose face you have to watch.

Make yourself a list. Any kind of list, really. Dedicate yourself to it. It'll begin a habitual neurotic approach to life which will motivate you forever.

I am not too concerned about success. Neither should you.

With professional help and a combination of medications and therapy, sure. You're describing a noxious combination of depression and anxiety, as far as I can comprehend, and if you really want to get that shit fixed I strongly suggest professional help.

I'd suspect that much of what you're telling us about here becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. You define your life as a series of letdowns and sudden reversals of fate, and so you likely put yourself in situations where failure is likely just because it confirms your beliefs about life—which isn't necessarily something you're doing consciously.

Regardless of what you've got going on, your subject nominates two conditions that you should definitely go see a professional about, and one that you probably should see someone about.

Also you misspelled Nyarlathotep, so that explains the bramblefucking.

always look on the bright side of life!

I doubt you need your cerebral serotonin regulated by some horribly marked up drugs invented like twenty years ago. If anything grow yourself some opium or something. Seems more conservative.

But I think you're just young and prone to failure. Failure is about the hardest thing for a man to learn to eat, the hardest thing to turn into motivation. But the greater your struggle the greater your victory. You can only climb as high as the mountain goes y'know. One day you'll look back and say "too easy."

what if you think its just everyone around you that makes you feel that way and its not really your fault...I feel like I can relate to OP I go thur similar with everyone in my life it seems that my opinions are always snuffed or looked at in weird ways and then im shunned for it or something like that...I even had a girl tell me I need to work on convo skills and I think I communicate just fine...maybe I speak my mind a little fast but the pure ganging up that I see is just too much...it doesn't bother me tho I like causing chaos

You'd probably be sure. But I'm not you so I can't say for certain.

Try this: when you feel like you're about to cum, pull out and stroke yourself and cum onto her stomach (or back, depending...). Then you'll know.

Or wear a condom. If you think you might have just orgasmed, you can always check the reservoir and if it's full of semen, well then you'll know. Just remember to change the condom before going again.

Also, I hope your girlfriend is on birth control if you're cumming in her.

Lad, your relationship will suffer if your lives are suffering. Do your best to look after yourself, it's fine to be alone and to want to be alone, don't worry so much about the relationship but more the health and well-being of you two. Reflect and make a plan towards getting out of this situation.

It might be a brilliant idea to tell your girlfriend that you feel depressed and unable to talk to anyone.

>>3255 Unhealthy people have a heard time having healthy relationships, it's true.

Push yourself, OP. Fight against the depression for your sake and for hers and for the sake of your relationship. Do anything and everything you can to keep some of your life out from under the shadow of depression—or seek help if you need it, from talking to a friend to engaging the services of a professional.

Also, you need to communicate with your girlfriend. That's an absolute. Even if, as said, it's just to tell her that you're really depressed and feeling antisocial.

Let me place a hypothetical to you. Would you be willing to let me have sex with your girl? If so, then totally dump her.

Fantasizing is not only fine, it will keep your sex life healthy and robust in the long term.

>>3221
I have abused oxy. I once bought a shitty RC. Most of the stuff was around the house though, not something I bought though.

I'm worried that, since it's correlated with reducing motivation, it'd just make me stop progressing. Not to mention it costs money and I can't be spending too much.

Fucking hell how can you not see it?

You're going to focus on women so that you're sad and unable to be happy. Your body and mind is telling you that you are unwell; you are depressed. You ignore that and think that getting your dick wet is going to help matters? Darling, you can't keep yourself happy, you're going to land up in a dysfunctional relationship that will make everything worse and take a long time to recover from.

Stop thinking about women. They will come when it is there time, you will feel confident and able when it is the time. The time will come, and it will be fine. Now is not the time, now is the time to; SORT THINGS OUT. Don't waste time by asking me why, because this is just the way things are and you need to get on with it.

Please stop playing the victim, and just take some care of yourself. You are not your past, and anyway you're allowed to make mistakes.

The moment you put yourself first is the moment you change all of this for the better and begin to feel better.

>>3230
I don't just want to get my dick wet! It's something I want but geez, that's not it...

I can't help but think about how I'm not with someone. It makes me feel inferior, and I also miss the feeling of being with someone.

I don't want to meet another insecure, manipulative girl. At least not one who's like these girls. I feel like if I just maybe find the right girl it'll be fine, but I have to keep trying. I know there's a good risk I'll find someone bad again, but I have to keep trying.

I don't understand how I'm playing the victim this time, but I know that it's something I can do sometimes. Mind you, I think I wrote this when I was in a pretty bad place. I think I had a pretty major anxiety thing the day afterwards, or maybe this was relatively shortly afterwards. I had thoughts of being punished, that all the bad things that have happened are intentional. Insane, I know. It was a new low, I think, not something ordinary.

I'm so incredibly happy my new psych is a lot more willing to talk about this kind of stuff, because I seriously need to figure out what I should be trying to do. Maybe I need to somehow change what I'm attracted to, or how I act. Some kind of strategy is needed, for sure. I can't handle the way these girls make me lose sleep and send us both into massive ups and downs. I'm trying to make myself happier, but at the time I last got involved with someone, I was feeling pretty on top and it still turned out badly. I had my doubts at first with this girl but she was pretty good at manipulating, so I went with it and I ended up hurt again.

Sounds reboundy. I would actively try not to get attached. Maybe even ask her to do stuff outside of sexual things, like actually getting to know you. That way she might learn to like YOU and not just see a fuck stick.

>>3088
Or he might find out more clearly whether she likes him or just sees him as the aforementioned fuck stick.

>>3089
Truth.

Either way, press on!

She said she missed our online contact and had read back chatlogs since september. I am hoping that means I am more than just a fuckstick. On the other hand the meeting at my house was mostly physical. I will press on and find out.

Several months have passed and not sure what the current status is. We agreed from the start that this would be a polyamorous relationship. I have no experience with that (or any) type of relationship, but this always seemed like something I wanted. I consider the traditional societal belief to find everything you want in a single person to be unrealistic (i.e. meeting your Disney prince(ss)), and also was uncomfortable with the idea of having to be things I am not, to keep my partner happy, rather having them find those things in someone else.

At first it was a joyful ride. I lost my virginity, had someone to cuddle with, share some of my secrets, go along with me on stuff I had been procrastinating, etc. But lately the vibe has changed.

It turned out that in practice polyamory was more tricky than expected. Jealousy and envy from my side have been making things difficult, also on her because it made her feel restricted which made her doubt the arrangement. From my side the relation hasn't been poly, because I am not in a people-mood since about a year or so, which also makes things a bit unbalanced. We had a few breaks/pauses, the first two initiated by her, the current one initiated by me, so I can figure out where I stand, what I get from it, whether it is worth it, etc.

Looking up this old thread and how I initially formulated what I wanted, has given me back a lot of insight. Over the past few months the jealousy and envy had made me insecure and feeling "little", which likely makes me a less attractive person to her as well. I also became more depressed by being confronted with the lingering after-effects of my psychosis in 2004 (reduced affect, ability to experience joy, ambition, etc.), feeding even more envy seeing her like those traits in others. Reading the goals set by my former self made me remember she is not my only shot at happiness or intimacy, which liberated me from the idea that I shouldn't lose her no matter what.

I still have some doubts whether she is truly looking for a polyamorous relation, or rather she just wants me as a safe reliable rebound to summon between other relationships (which I won't be). Polyamory is new for both of us so it is to be expected that things won't go smoothly. I guess after this break (which will probably last another week or two), we will both find out how we want to continue this, if at all.

tl;dr relationship status unclear, OP trying to gather his thoughts on what he wants

Find an ongoing relationship so you can blast in her without a condom

Yeah, I'm already in trouble with alot of people for talking to their girls. Like it's my fault all the girls easy to talk to are already in relationships. Though if I find one confirmed for cuckold, I might be tempted. I wonder if my ethnicity will show.

>>3226
>I'm already in trouble with alot of people for talking to their girls.
>talking to their girls
>their girls
Because girls are property that people own.
>talking
And two adults talking is like the worst thing ever.

Tell those people to chill the fuck out.

>And two adults talking is like the worst thing ever.

In many ways it is.

You would have me go to the Caribbean, and preach to the cannibals the errors of their ways. Oh, white man's burden. I've got to enlighten these poor savages.

Perhaps the reason I take these criticisms seriously is because it is in keeping with my intrinsic character to do so. Perhaps I view relationships as something beautiful and fragile, like a statuette of glass, certainly not a thing to trample on like a rutting elephant. If I'm the only person who sees this way, then all the more reason to stick to my guns.


I believe I have a fetish for strong emotions. I am also aroused by the sight of tears. I will attempt to find a girl who is willing to get emotional before sex, as farfetched as that sounds, and see if it works. If it doesn't work I'll go become a Buddhist warrior monk and fight for democracy in Hong Kong.

>>3232
I was going to respond to your BS about fragile porcelain relationships by saying that two people having a chat is not stomping all over someone's delicate relationship - and if it is that relationship was bullshit built on possessive insecurity and jealousy from the start - but then I read the rest of your post and realized you're just insane and delusional.

Oh wow, my topic's still here?

Anyway, OP here. I ended up asking her for her number and we went out on Sunday, but it was a group date. I asked her to go out again on Saturday, she agreed but she wanted to bring a mutual friend of ours, who came with us on Sunday.

My friend declined in an attempt for it to be us two, but the girl said she was busy instead. But my friend tells me she really wants to go, but doesn't want to go alone?

Am I boned or she just really shy?

Well if your (or her) friends are in on it, there's a good chance it will work. Asian chicks are big on the peer pressure thing.

>>3216
Can someone explain why girls are big on the 'bring a friend' thing?

There's this chick I'm interested in that wants to do the same thing. Does she think I'm going to rape her or something? Does she think it's going to be boring?

And my ex says she wants to hang out if we can do things as part of a group - like badminton with other friends. What's up with that? Fuck it I have balls I'll just ask them.

>>3220

Girls who want dudes ask their girlfriends if there are any guys they know. She's either trying to set you up, or wants her girlfriend's opinion of you in some respect she is unsure of.

Always try to hit it off with their friends. I dated this one girl, and the only reason it lasted as long as it did, was because her best friend kept repping me up to her.

>>3216
>>3220
>>3222

You don't have to have sex, snog, or cement the relationship right away. Relax a little, there's no rush so long as you've got your wits about you. One on one can be quite intense anyway,

Some pointers I've learned:

When messaging a girl, use rhetorical ambiguity. Don't ask her if she believes in "love." Substitute in "hugs." Be true to your feelings, don't lie to her, but as Sun Tzu would say, never corner your opponent, leave her with options to interpret your statements.

Once you've agreed to hang out already, you can tap it down a little bit (unless she's initiating), and just tailor your messages so as to remind her you exist.

Also get into an active hobby like parkour, or cliff diving, etc. That way when she asks you what you're doing, you don't just say "nm, u?" You actually have a plausibly interesting thing that you could be doing.

I try way too hard and come across as needy.

I ask for validation a lot.

I care too much about the opinions of people I talk to.

People generally see through the games I play: going back and forthe, trying to be coy one moment then spitting out I love you the next. Basically, I make an ass of myself and people call me out for it.

I alienate friends in group settings (I included group txt convos too).

It makes me really unattractive.

I don't demostrate much high value and I'm not very good to people around me - something I need to work on. I have to allow people to be good to me, and be good to myself too.

I ignore people's indications of interest, and I show little self confidence. There is often interest on both sides on my social encounters, but I execute all wrong.

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>>3175

Oh, well then I guess I'll return to my previous assumptions.

But, things are getting better now. Why, even today I messaged this one girl and I simply told her the truth with much hyperbole and she thinks I'm a player now, but it's actually just the first time I've ever been this honest with a person.

I think hash has improved my life in three ways. I'm smoking less, but getting higher. That's two ways. Fuck, I'm high.

>>3178
Dude, I think I fucked up. Seriously just go see a psychotherapist everybody is at best talking to hypothetical constructs of you based on what you write. Get to know someone who knows how brains and minds work. Pull up your fucking laces. The world expects you to pull your weight. Everyone else and only retards pretend its easy or on the flip side complain.

>>3074


This is all in your head. I mean all of this, from your anxiety to this website, to the house you live in. Your anxiety does not exist in the desk I am sat at.

Your post has a rigid belief in this anxeity. You are not anxious, but you believe you are. You imagine that an interview would humiliate and shame you, you do not believe that you might charm and impress someone.

People will die for things they believe in. We would kill people for being witches, we were convinced the earth was flat, etc. Currently, your (belief in your) anxiety fits in and completes things. Please note how absurd it is; that we would actually kill others because of our belief that they were witches.

I will tell you that you are not anxious, and you'll react by calling me a heretic and claiming that I don't know the truth, or that I'm misinformed. In your state, you're a bad judge of your character and abilities. There is a choice here, you can burn me at the stake for my idea, you could replace your idea with my idea, or, most helpfully, you could understand perspective, and you could understand a difference between you and your anxiety.

>>3146

This perrson wrote a list. I'd just like to say that from a very factual point of view, it's a good thing to eat well, to spend time outside etc. These things will make you better, as explained you might not feel it, but in order to grow a tree needs to be well looked after, in order to run well a car needs to be maintained, you are no different.

So OP what have you got for us?

We're invested in your well-being. There are a bunch of people out there who are intrinsically motivated to do what it takes to help you get out of your rut.

What have you put into tackling the causes of your anxieties?

Stop self handicapping, Stop wallowing in self-pity, go realise some great outcomes. DON'T depend on advice from 99chan, but do take it seriously and when you run into a problem that you have tried to solve with your own mind first, we will help you. That way, you will get better and better at solving problems independently and quickly.

Come on, once you've fixed this shit up, you'll be pissed at yourself for wasting so much time that you would have been really getting something good out of it once you're on the road to your goals.

OP? Fear is an unreliable and primal emotion. The more human culture evolves, and our ancestral environment changes, the less useful it is. Danger is real, fear is irrational. Fear that goes beyond danger is delusion.

Come back, you coward!