With professional help and a combination of medications and therapy, sure. You're describing a noxious combination of depression and anxiety, as far as I can comprehend, and if you really want to get that shit fixed I strongly suggest professional help.

I'd suspect that much of what you're telling us about here becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. You define your life as a series of letdowns and sudden reversals of fate, and so you likely put yourself in situations where failure is likely just because it confirms your beliefs about life—which isn't necessarily something you're doing consciously.

Regardless of what you've got going on, your subject nominates two conditions that you should definitely go see a professional about, and one that you probably should see someone about.

Also you misspelled Nyarlathotep, so that explains the bramblefucking.

always look on the bright side of life!

I doubt you need your cerebral serotonin regulated by some horribly marked up drugs invented like twenty years ago. If anything grow yourself some opium or something. Seems more conservative.

But I think you're just young and prone to failure. Failure is about the hardest thing for a man to learn to eat, the hardest thing to turn into motivation. But the greater your struggle the greater your victory. You can only climb as high as the mountain goes y'know. One day you'll look back and say "too easy."

what if you think its just everyone around you that makes you feel that way and its not really your fault...I feel like I can relate to OP I go thur similar with everyone in my life it seems that my opinions are always snuffed or looked at in weird ways and then im shunned for it or something like that...I even had a girl tell me I need to work on convo skills and I think I communicate just fine...maybe I speak my mind a little fast but the pure ganging up that I see is just too much...it doesn't bother me tho I like causing chaos