hello there, sorry for my english, its been a while.
I started studying a month and 3 weeks ago and I have some troubles, which I am trying to solve. time-management, mind-issue..
I share a one room stock which faces the street: mostly dark, concrete ground, icy nights and no proper bathroom. -trying to move out, but rent are at least 3 times higher and noone accepted the papers yet.

Room is 1 hour away from university and I have troubles to sleep and to get out of the house in time. I have anxiety really getting out of the door. Once I am among people the tension lowers, but until then I look for exuses to stay inside. Because the road takes 1 hour I sometimes arrive at least half an hour too late. I comfort myself that its just my very own responsibilty and I dont have to feel ashamed, still I do.

Before university I had to be on a medical diet for one and a half month which lacked of long-chain carbohydrates, leaving me utterly without nerves, fat, muscles and thinking power whatsoever. I am still suffering from this condition. But I am not sure wether it is from the hard diet 1 1/2 months ago or its the food I recently was allergic to and I now am allowed to eat. I dont trust the doctor and I dont trust the new food, but I desperately need to gain weight and study. I feel anxious, brain-fogged, hyperactive or very sensitive.
I dont understand simple questions and although I feel the answer is there, and Ive read it, I cannot say it out loud. Especially in class, where the interaction is highly important. I just dont remember the words and I have problems talking. I have troubles concentrating and focus on easy life tasks such as: tidy up, wash clothes, preparing dinner, sort out papers..Sometimes I jump up, think of something else, forgot what I was doing etc.

I am also afraid what others may think of me. Whenever I socialite its very consuming and I feel awkward and ashamed. I feel if I would be "myself" I basically wouldnt belong there. My biggest problem is, that I cannot study, I cannot THINK. It takes forever to feel awaken, it takes forever to understand..Maybe I shall just wait and try small steps, but I dont have much time and everything is consuming while I try to recover.

What do you think?
pic related, its exactly how I feel in class.