You do the manly thing, and drink a beer every time you think of her. Eventually, you'll kill all the brain cells that have anything to do with her. Or, you could distract yourself with less self-destructive things.

Redirect your energy in positive ways - constructive projects, creative projects, learning new skills... Work on socializing so that you'll be more likely to meet another girl you like and who is better for you.

Use that gavel I mailed you to bang on things. Banging on things always cheers me up.

Your attitude.

Let's take music as an example.

Someone may really enjoy classical music, and be able to tell you all about Bach. He doesn't tell you about Bach all the time, but only if the conversation warrants it. This person is cultured.

Let's take someone else. This person also enjoys classical music, an is able to tell you all about Bach. He tells you all about Bach whenever the situation warrants it, and even when it doesn't. He thinks that you're a horrible person because you listen to Justin Beiber. This person is smug.

>>1430

I like this a lot.

SAGE has been used.

>>1408
OP: I don't have any medical conditions that would warrant getting a medical marijuana license, except maybe depression, if that even flies in New Jersey. Either way, it wouldn't do me much good in my current situation.

Well you are skinny and you have had plenty of time between weed and test.
Everything is looking good for you. Try not to worry about things out of your control.

If you are still seized by fear, focus on what you can control. Exercise will help so if you feel yourself overwhelmed, go exercise.

You will be fine.

Yeah that shit is probably out of your system. I would be super surprised if you failed.

>>1410
>>1411
Thank you. I needed to hear that.

I mean, it might be worth noting that I smoked kinda regularly over winter break, anywhere from 3-5 times a week, but in November it was only about 1-2 times a week, and I was totally clean two months before that.

I dunno. I'm probably okay. It's just scary shit. I suppose in the off chance that I do fail, my lawyer could always smooth things out somehow.

OP again, it turned out to literally not be a big deal at all; it was a mouth swab test, not a urine test.

All is well. Thanks for the supportive words anway.

SAGE has been used.

You are just on different levels. If she's not comfortable with your pace and you're not willing to step it up, there's a pretty good chance she's going to leave you. She's got the maternal clock ticking and doesn't recognize your relative layabout attitude as providing.

You sound alright to me though, but I'm a man too. Try meeting her halfway for the time being. The apartment downtown should be enough for a little while.

I'd say focus on living your own life and going at the pace you desire. You are the only one who can really tell if you are a deadbeat loser, and even then it might just be your insecurity talking. If you feel like you aren't doing something properly, try fixing that. Focus on small goals at a time, and maybe step up for yourself to your girlfriend.
Show her that you are doing what you want to do for yourself, and that you aren't going to be mentally cock-slapped by her back and forth. She might admire you more for taking things on for yourself rather than trying to live to her standards. On the other hand, she may easily want to leave you if you blatantly tell her off or some bullshit like that. However, what is more important? Your current girlfriend, or your life? Women come and go. Is this a woman you want to fight for so badly that you will modify your life to her favorable conditions? If she was right for you, she would want you to be happy doing what you want to do.


Some disclaimers though:

Don't take my advice as some excuse to just live off of your parents.
Don't tell her off, rather speak up for yourself.
I've never been in a relationship, I may not know shit about this subject.
I'm younger than you.

Think for yourself man. I just tried to supply some thoughts on what you presented to me. Not only did you provide a small amount of information, this is the internet and a pity thread and you are possibly providing me with construed factual information.

Anyways, I hope things can go well. Maybe post back and check in?

If you are the tinkering type, you could rig a block of server fans (or even regular computer fans I guess) to a power inverter. You'd have to find an inverter to match the voltage/amps on the fans and do some wiring to hook the fans up.

Grainger, dude. I recommend you A) search the website, and B) order a catalog to read on the shitter.

www.grainger.com

What you're looking for would be under the "HVAC" section, OP.

>>1397

That sounds promising and I think I've figured out how to find some fans that look good, but I don't think I can tell if they are designed to be able to run for long period at a time. You wouldn't happen to know any technical terms they might use for that other than straight up saying something like "designed to run 24/7" or "robust design for extended use".

Well, looking at some of the listed items in their HVAC section, I'd say "duty rated for..." is the best you'll get from the description info they provide, though it doesn't even say that much for most items. Keep in mind though that that shit isn't wimpy dollar-store bullshit, and most all of it is intended for serious application, so none of it is likely to give up the ghost anytime soon after installation. Just the same though, having the shit running 24/7 is not as good a setup as having it rigged to a thermostat control.

I've been thinking about this a bit though, and I do have one reason to recommend against high volumes of forced air, as provided by a fan, for your cooling needs though. It's gonna move all kinds of dust around, and your electronics are going to attract all that dust like, well, an electromagnet. Honestly, I think you'd be better off with a small AC unit, forcing lower volumes of pre-cooled air. They make ones nowadays that are quite cheap compared to the fan-options you're looking at, and they'd cost you a lot less money in energy bills too.

>>1400
I think you are underselling the endurance of cheap fans. I have run all sorts of fans for days on end and none of them have ever cheaped out on me.

That post came out awful.
How about generic troubled/ended relationship advice, please?

/docta/

I don't have too much input, but when in doubt, specialize in maths. A mathematician will never run out of work. At least here in Europe, this holds true.

In my opinion, going back to study subjects you weren't good at will cause you more pain than gain. It's natural to have weaknesses and subjects that you don't like as much as others, and as far as I can tell, your talents are diverse and useful enough. A train conductor doesn't need a higher education, as far as I know, you might be overqualified. Pilot might be more suited to your skills, but it would probably be helpful if you could speak at least one or two languages other than English.
Writing and communication skills are a huge boon in any job - you will always have to talk to customers or colleagues or other firms, no matter how much of the "actual" work you do. However, making writing your main occupation is a very rocky path indeed, and you will not earn a lot. I'd avoid journalism unless it is your major passion.

Those are just my 2 cents. Also, what do your parents mean when they talk about "a real job"? Your suggestions sound fairly reasonable and realistic to me.

>>1379
That's some sound advice, thank you.

I have interests in science and languages, and to be fairly honest with you maths was my weakest point. In fact, so bad I was at it that it didn't count in my final score. Perhaps for the reasons you say.
For me, science has always been fascinating. I'll admit it will be difficult to do as I've had an upbringing with the liberal arts and I don't enjoy realist/logical ideas such as "there is no god" etc. but I never took the opportunity to do it further in life because my high school education ruined it completely for me. I regret not having chosen science over humanities and social studies like Psychology, but the only way to do it is to go back.

About that, I meant to say that my parents thought my current job wasn't a "real job". Even so, they think my ambitions are a waste of time. Our family has always been a blue-collar family. My father owns his own business and my mother is a housewife, so I've often had alack of support with my ideas.

I may also consider doing cinema, as that was by far the greatest ambition I had; making movies and that. Of course, expensive and difficult to break into... But yes. As you can see I'm very unsure.

>>1380
I'm glad I can help a bit.

It's sad that your parents seem to think you should leave the same life as them - my parents have similar occupations, but they're proud that I'm getting higher education and probably won't have to do hard physical labour to get by. Don't let it get you down too much. Maybe it's not an entirely bad thing - my parents support me in everything, but that has left me with a lack of motivation - you on the other hand may be motivated to be successful, just to stick it up to your folks ^^

As for your decision paralysis, I strongly suggest that you set an arbitrary deadline for yourself, and on that day, decide what you want to do. It's okay to be unsure of it, and it's okay to change your mind later. As long as you do something, you'll learn and be productive. I've seen quite some people become depressed and apathetic over that problem. Just pick something you think you might like doing and try to stick with it. In the end, while the decision seems hugely important, it doesn't matter as much as you think.

>>1381
I understand that, and in a way it does make me more motivated. I also think that I have a tendency to procrastinate as well, so hence why I've never have admirable marks and have relegated myself to having lower opportunities in future study.

That sounds like a good idea, and a deadline is definitely needed. A lot for thought is required too, about what I'd need to study and how to go about such courses.

In recent news, I've applied to do another year of college at the suggestion of a friend, and I'm going to study the two things I didn't, but should've studied: science and language. I've had ambitions to do a science-related course in University, but as it stands the necessary maths hasn't been attained. It's my worst subject, even though I did an everyday maths course which I passed with shades of grey. Hopefully though, there are foundation courses in university which will be able to allow me to study up and gain the required skills to do something like engineering or whatever.

>>1339

What else is relevant?

I haven't had a GF but it's not too important to me. My sex drive is pretty minimal.

Maybe I have accepted the idea that nothing is worth doing, since the effort put in won't match the rewards given back,

>>1343

It just seems like you described me, but that's impossible because you are me and I am you. If I were in a more psychotic state, this would be too coincidental and I would feel more paranoid than usual about how this post popped up at the time and place it happened to pop up on.


Regardless, you sound exactly like me. I too do not have the motivation nor the care to push myself further than where I am now. However, it does *seem* that I am somehow moving forward, as if on some sort of drift or current that is naturally and gradually improving me as a person. That could easily be a lie constructed to make myself feel better, however.

Maybe try reading when you can? Every little bit helps. Read about depression.

>>1344

You aren't*

1) Mental Health problems go in Mind. That said, anhedonia is serious biz. Not that many root causes though. Therapy should be productive if you have a halfway competent shrink.

2) Don't go to college in your current state. It is a waste of time and money. College without ambition is useless and doomed. A degree is not a goal.

sage because 1.

SAGE has been used.

>>1344

Have you considered the possibility that people here have similar problems because similar people of similar means make similar choices?

Why don't you just "accidentally" get some of those choice caustic chemicals spilled on you for some workman's comp?

Sexual harassment. WABAM! You are now on your way to Mogadishu.

SAGE has been used.

Call in sick enough to be obnoxious.
If they don't provide you with free healthcare or information about local free health clinics, then providing documentation of your illness shouldn't be necessary.


Basically, in order to deny unemp, they have to be able to make a claim that you were purposefully hurting their business when they fired you. If you call in sick, that's not malicious. If they call out your lack of documentation on these illnesses, you say that they don't provide free medical care, and you couldn't afford to go to the doctor. At this point, it becomes their responsibility to prove to the unemployment office that you were not sick, and that you were faking it to get out of work, which is basically impossible. Therefore, the unemployment office will award in your favor.

Also, if they hand you a piece of paper when you get fired, documenting why you're being fired, ask for a copy (for your records,) and then walk out without signing it. This proves that you didn't abandon the job, as you have a notice of termination, but it doesn't say that you agree with the listed reason for termination since you didn't sign it.

Therapists fuck around in the cesspools of human emotion for a living. If this therapist and child are real, you should speak to the therapist about your concerns for the child's future.

Also, I don't believe you. A 5-year-old is only barely able to dress itself. The idea that your child, at 5, somehow has had long-term independent access to girls clothing, chooses to wear it, and that this has factored into how you've chosen to raise the child long enough that a doctor is going to provid- you know what, this is straight nonsense. Good luck with your problems.

SAGE has been used.

MSN homepage had some relevant info today.

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-3267-Job-Search-Get-your-résumé-in-shape/?SiteId=cbmsn43267&sc_extcmp=JS_3267_advice

How do I know he is doing this?

Several people that responded to the add came to the meeting and I shared contact info with them after we all met.

Each one of them either had relevant experience, or was a biology student, business major or etc.

He let all of them go...

reason being: you just don't fit in.

So, for someone who is trying to start a (related to these majors) business, how can these people all be unworthy? We're talking college grads! Who, from my own experience, definitely know more than this guy. I was not a college grad and I was not enrolled in college, yet I knew more about this guy's chosen business then he did.

We will just say that this is related to growing something.

Is he trying to steal your identity or something? I had a difficult time reading your post in places. Try to write descriptively and coherently.

What are you doing answering to such shady ads on the first place?

>web design/graphic design

I think you could make some money that way, but it would be chump change. For web design, at least that is the impression I got from talking to people in that field. And as far as graphic design goes, unless you really have a knack for it I'd tell you to look into something else.

If you want a career that is going to put food on the table go to trade school or look into what it takes to get certified in low-level medical jobs. For medical, when you can get into something that pays decent, you can work there while further improving your status as an employee through more school.

Sorry if I didn't answer your question very well but IMO this is the most realistic course of action.

What are the circumstances of your "medical separation" from the military? Are you physically injured, allegedly mentally unstable, or what? This information could help us help you pick a career.

>>1347

I was separated for a broken ankle that had healed wrong in my childhood I guess. They said my bones were weak too. I can fight the separation but after being in the military I just don't think it's for me.

My husband is really pushing me to go back but I just don't feel like it's what I'm meant to do. I want to do something creative and maybe helpful to people. I like making things and I've got minimal experience in graphic design (doing flyers for local events but nothing paid). I thought about doing programming but it isn't flashy or showy enough for me in my experience.

I've considered medical since that's what my mom's always done but I always volunteered at her hospital when I was young and it's just a super depressing environment. People are just so unhappy all the time. Not to mention the sight of blood makes me really weak and I can't even look at a needle without fainting (it made me quite the target in boot camp..) If it's something like radiology or pharmacy tech I could probably handle it but otherwise I don't know if I could do it.

I see. I was going to say that if you were keen on the idea of serving the people, and you weren't discharged for mental health reasons, then your military background could make it easy for you to get a job as a cop, but it doesn't sound like you'd want something like that now. Either that or, provided you were in the military long enough to pick up significant training in a skill other than combat, finding a job in that field.

I'll tell you one thing though, >>1346 has a pretty good idea for you in the way of trades-work. Most other kinds of work come and go, but people will always need to have shit built. You can spend all kinds of time and money at a college to get a degree for a field that supposedly is booming and pays well, only to have that field collapse in on itself just as you're graduating. The value of certification in a trade is something they can never just take away from you, and it will always be in demand.

The only pitfall of the trades is the bureaucratic mobs that call themselves "unions". A person in the trades doesn't necessarily have to be part of a union though - don't ever let them fool you into thinking that you do.

Oh, also, my girlfriend is threatening to leave me if I don't move out of my parents' house because she says it makes me a bum. My psychiatrist has also expressed concern for my mental well-being at this point.

However, like I said, DAMN, the job offer I got overseas is really fucking good...

I come from a dysfunctional family and I still live at home. My brother and father no longer live here, but living with my mother is still very trying. I am leeching off of her through my depression and negligence to care for life, but everyday is a battle to fight her manipulation and anger issues and tendency to cause arguements for the sake of them.

I've been in this house my whole life man. I've seen my family do nothing but bicker and destroy each other day after day, and it does not go anywhere. It is incredibly unproductive. I blame myself for my downfalls, but I sure as fuck would have an easier time getting by if I wasn't trying to control my latent urges to be an aggressive abusive male.

I'd advise you to move out. I think if you got away, you would feel better. It will be harder, but you will adapt to deal with the separation and handling shit on your own. You'll enjoy your independence more, and you won't have to deal with the constant pressure of having a fucked up family causing stress and unwarranted aggression. Your girlfriend sounds a little harsh with deeming you a bum (from my point of view, I don't know anything about your relationship), but she probably has a point. You are attached to something that is bringing you down. It will only continue to do so.

I hope I helped out somewhat. It's too late for me. It isn't for you. Get out.

>>1333
>my girlfriend is threatening to leave me if I don't move out of my parents' house because she says it makes me a bum

Leave her. What kind of worth does her "love" have if it's conditional to whether you have a place of your own or not? What kind of (non-marital) relationship revolves around you being able to provide? She's not looking for a boyfriend, she's looking for a surrogate dad.

Alright maybe I'm being too harsh but you probably get my point.

>Well, I got 2 offers: 1) a job offer to go teach English summer school overseas in a province a couple hours east of Moscow, won't pay well but it'll still look great on my resume for grad school...
I don't want to sound discriminative, although that's hard to achieve in this era of Ultra Policital Correctness, but I cannot recommend Russia to anyone.
>that means I'd have to stay a little while longer with my family and endure the unpredictable rage of my father, the constant screaming matches, and everyone's manipulative behavior while I save up money for airfare and such.
Especially since this sentence tells me it's not worth it.

>2) My friend wants me to move downtown and get a nice but inexpensive place with him, near my job and near to an area with lots of Russian, Ukrainian, Moldovan, and Serbian immigrants who I could tutor with my TEFL certificate.
This sounds like the more sensible choice.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>but I cannot recommend Russia to anyone.

I'm studying Russia (and Russian) in grad school, and I had a great time the 2 months I stayed in Moscow, sooo... Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I personally love it over there.

But otherwise, yes, your advice is pretty sound. And yes, I'm thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend now, or letter her break up with me (which I think she's been hinting at anyway).

Thank you both.

>>1287
Nah

I broke my bed base having sex with a fat horny girl and have been sleeping on a mattress on the floor ever since. The only downside is that I had to lie to my girlfriend as to what happened to the bed.

I sleep on a mattress on the floor.

I haven't had any problems with it. Turn it over once in a while or you might get mold. I never have, but I live at a high altitude and the air is thin so I might have an easier time.

Really, the biggest issue I've had is that I feel more inclined to leap into or onto my bed now and I think I've really fucked it up.

I sleep on the floor (no mattress though) it's comfortable as fuck.

i know often when I'm drunk I prefer to sleep on the floor than on my mattress

oh. woops.
Apologies for image macro

SAGE has been used.

I don't have any background in photography, just throwing out a reddit link, and check their sidebar:
http://www.reddit.com/r/photography/comments/15dq3u/weekly_question_thread_ask_rphotography_anything/

I have an older copy of his darkroom book and it's very informative and detailed. The only problem is that the info gets a bit clusterfucky sometimes. I don't know about this one in terms of digital, but no doubt it's great for film.

It might not be any help anon, considering I learnt photography from various books dating back to the 1970s. I uploaded this for though, it might be help if you wanted to do film photography and develop your own shit later own. http://www.mediafire.com/view/?b9ksfatw38wg8ug

Fundamental of Photo Composition by Paul Common is a very useful book for looking at the artistic aspects of photography separately from the technical camera setting most hand-guides will have. It may be a good place to start.

>>1283
You can take the advice that you should lawyer up and seek vengeance and be stuck in the past or you can see this for what it is: a blessing. You're free! You should have been incarcerated for 10 years? And she recanted it? That never happens. In those 10 years you would have made a single mistake. That added on another year or so. And then it would have spiraled. Life without parole. Life in hell.


But you're fucking free. What the fuck?! Get away from your mom, your ex whore wife, your problems, your comfort zone. Go and climb a goddamn mountain. You're not supposed to ever see a tree again. Go learn how to cook. Learn how to feel your emotions that you would have been denied if you got stuck in that hell hole.

Go be alive and forget the past. You have the future, and you know how much that shit is worth after almost not ever having it.

>>1298
Legally speaking, OP isn't going to get shit through litigation. The best thing to do is forget your past (beating the shit out of the guy making BS claims is optional) and attempt to get your life back on track.

Self-improvement and whatnot. Go back to school, get a hobby, etc.

Drop the wife (I'm not sure about the whole story, but if she's getting a restraining order based on false accusations, she's probably a bitch)
Get back into the game, learn pickup, it could change your life.

OP what state do you live in?

MA

Truck jobs are a plenty and most company's will pay/remburse you for trucking school. It only take about 3weeks to get your cdl

I do not understand you at all. Try again.

You might find something on scholar.google.com. You'll probably have to email someone if you want the raw data.

Have you tried going into

http://www.indeed.com/
http://www.careerbuilder.com
and so forth and plugging in welder/welding etc.

No clue where you are but doing so found a few auto shops and such in my area. Also go to the nearest convenience store and grab any local paper that has a classified section, and pout through the help wanted section.

googling "temp jobs for welders" turned out this: http://www.simplyhired.com/a/jobs/list/q-temporary+welder

I'm sure there is some company in your area, and if you get a temp job, keep in contact with whoever you temp for. You've got a foot in the door for something more permanent if possible since you've worked there before.

I worked as a non-cert GMAW welder for 6 years.

Expect it to be difficult, but not impossible to find a job. Nobody likes new starters.

Don't expect a great hourly wage, being a new starter with no experience.

Expect to undergo a welding test: bit of pressure here, when attending the interview, bring a pair of gloves, a pair of sidecutters, and a pair of wrap around safety glasses (Sunglass style, not goggles. Safety saves them insurance money, so come prepared. They will supply a hardhat and welding mask. They will watch you run a bead, then they will inspect it for holes, irregularities, strength, etc. Because even a staircase needs to look good and be safe.

But when you get a job, no matter how shit the work, pay and conditions are, stick with it for at least 6 months. That will make it much easier to get a job in the future.

It really helps if you can hit up friends of friends, friends of family for a bit of piecework.

The way I got good at welding was, I started as a prepper in a metal shop (That's cutting, beveling, drilling, grinding back etc of materials to be welded) After six months, I asked if I could use one of the welders while another welder was away/on a lunch break/on weekends, and practiced. eventually I got competent enough that they let me do piecework. For two months, my job was to join 1" square pipe sections together with 1" beads. I probably did 8 or 9 thousand of them. By the end, nothing looked as good as my 1" beads. So when you get the chance, practice.

>>1311
It's not so much the area as it is the methods.
>>1312
>Expect to undergo a welding test
Yep, that was one of my biggest concerns but at the same time I knew it'd be virtually unavoidable.
>It really helps if you can hit up friends of friends, friends of family for a bit of piecework.
That's my main plan for now. There might be some hope; the guy who fixes air conditioners where my mother works heard his neighbour needed a welder to join up a fence. I haven't heard of him in a while, but I'll try to contact him. He also has my phone, I think.

GMAW is pretty easy not to fuck up, at least compared to SMAW, so even though I like working with electrodes better, I hope I end up working with GMAW. Or TIG. TIG's pretty fucking cool and easy. Either way I'm planning on getting myself an inverter supplier for arc and tig welding (but I'm only buying the arc welding equipment for now) and see if I can find some work independently, even if it's very sparse. I wonder if GMAW equipment is much more expensive than arc welding. I suppuse it is.

>>1228
Isn't that more like sympathy than empathy?

Empathy: The intellectual identification of the thoughts, feelings, or state of another person (i.e. you understand but not necessarily cares)

Sympathy: A feeling of pity or sorrow for the suffering or distress of another; compassion (i.e. you care)

Practice,I guess? Take time each day to think about someone and their situation, especially when it's someone about whom you make a snap negative judgment.

Talking to people about their situations/experiences in order to gain a better understanding would also help.

>>1229
Yeah, but don't you need empathy to achieve sympathy?

Go one week naturally surviving with just the clothes on your back through the streets and slums? Can't? Well at least try to think about it

Large dose of shrooms. While tripping, contemplate all the people that have lived, laughed, suffered, toiled, and died since the dawn of time to bring the world to where it is now, a place where you can live a comparatively comfortable existence. Think then about all the people living contemporarily to you who do not have the comforts that you do. Consider the thought that, in a world of limited resources, it is most likely that but for the whim of chance you could have been born in any of their places, less fortunate, less comfortable, and less privileged. Having considered these thoughts, consider one more; if you were them, wouldn't you at least want for understanding and recognition from you? Wouldn't you wish that you had the clarity to realize that the greatest asset that any human can have is the acceptance and good will of fellow humans?