Texas Ted grimaced, pushing his mustache out of his mouth with his tongue. "This steak is terrible. Goddamn terrible."
"Well I'm sorry," replied Cooksy, raising his voice with pinpointed malice, "What's so goddamn terrible about it?"
"There's hair in it, Cooksy." answered Ted, still picking auburn strands from between his teeth.
"Well maybe if yer mother woulda taught you to groom yer mustache as well as she did hers, you wouldn't be havin' this problem!"

Texas Ted shook for a moment, turning red and letting spittle fly from his chapped lips and gritted teeth as an awful roar brewed in his belly. He stood, drew his pistol and shot off Cooksy's hat before yelling, "You little shit, my mother was a sexy lady!" At this oedipal outburst, framed by a gunshot, the bar became uncomfortably quiet. Chatty mumbles circulated like breezes in a scrawny dust devil, turning the hardened, gritty men of the old west into whispering schoolgirls.

Texas Ted, the only standing man in the saloon, turned round and round speechlessly, noticing disapproving glances from every pair of eyes he met. "What? I misspoke is all. Ain't y'all never misspoke before? It was just a ..." Ted stammered, before running out of steam and beginning a shamed stride toward the swinging door. Before he could leave, six more gunshots rang out through the room, drawing everyone's attention to an elderly yet robust Mexican man with an impressive mustache and a small hat, revolver pointed to the ceiling in his grip. He stood, announcing proudly, "I am Rodrigo de la Cruce Montoya Murriloz the third... And Texas Ted, your story has touched my heart in a way it has not been touched in a very long time."

Rodrigo threw his gun aside and bounded across the room, diving toward Ted and embracing the thigh of the surprised Texan, soaking his chaps with breathless sobbing. Ted, along with the rest of the bar, waited for Señor Murriloz to clarify the situation, gazing flummoxed at the emotional scene. Rodrigo pulled his face from Ted's leg long enough to belt out, "This man has confessed a deep-seated love, and you all scorn him!" He sniffled a bit, continuing, "I too, have long held a secret love within my heart, a love for my horse, Esmeralda!"

At Rodrigo's accidental call, the very same animal bounded through the swinging doors, barely clearing the prostrate Mexican and the stunned Texan before landing heavily on a table. Her fall came with multiple loud cracks, the snapping of the old ribs of the horse and the destruction of the old legs of the table forming a cacophony of tragedy for lover and carpenter alike. Esmeralda whinnied in pain, falling to her side and landing messily in a large dish of spaghetti. Rodrigo's sobbing began again as he ran from Texas Ted's chaps to Esmeralda's mane. The old man hugged the horse's neck, trying to calm her and stop he from kicking around any more pasta. In between his consoling Rodrigo bellowed to the heavens. "¡¿Por que, Dios, por que!?" Esmeralda's panicked din eventually dwindled into weak, labored sighs, and Rodrigo rose from his beloved, grabbing a bottle of sarsaparilla from an intact table. He chugged it deftly before smashing it on the table he'd taken it from, bringing the jagged glass toward his throat.

The old man's suicide was interrupted by two perfectly synchronized gunshots, working together to completely destroy his improvised blade. All eyes in the bar turned to two identically-dressed young men crouched on their table, guns still smoldering as they both returned to their holsters. The pair simultaneously stood up, removing their sombreros from their heads and placing them over their hearts. The man on the left began to speak passionately, "We are the Wondrous Western Wilson twins-" he was interrupted by the man adjacent, "Yes, THE Wondrous Western Wilson Twins, of Colorado fame." leaving the left Wilson to continue, "and we have traveled globally, performing gun tricks from Australia to Zimbabwe, but until now..." he began to tear up, as did his brother, who announced, "we have never seen a love as strong yet taboo as our own." The twins turned to one another before placing their hats on their opposite's head, and shared a long, teary, emotional gaze.

They leapt off the table in unison, scrambling toward Rodrigo, whose tears began to stream again as they approached. The three men hugged in the middle of the room, eventually beginning a stumbling memorial waltz around the cold remains of Esmeralda. Dancing gracefully, the trio rounded Rodrigo's deceased love several times before kneeling mournfully in front of her. Removing their hats, the twins indicated that Rodrigo do the same, before embracing the weeping old man who promptly crumpled into a ball. The twins moved their lips to Rodrigo's ears, and the brother on his left whispered sweetly. "Señor Murriloz, you may despair and grieve" as the other brother added "and it is natural to do so," "But we wish that you find joy in this situation." Fuming, Rodrigo bolted upward. "Joy! Joy!? A man watches as the love of his life dies halfway on their journey to be wed in Canáda, and you expect him to show joy!? You pendejos! That was la true love The amor verdad!"

Before he could further express his rage, he was interrupted by two soothing, silky pairs of hands grabbing his. He looked down at the right twin, who whispered up to him, "But don't you see, Señor Murriloz?" whose gaze was shifted to the left by a gentle squeeze of his other hand, "Your love lives on." announced the left Wilson twin, before they spoke in unison, "Through us." All three rose, as the Wilsons guided speechless Rodrigo upward. They turned to face Texas Ted, who had stood stunned for the entirety of Rodrigo's emotional outburst. As if by instinct, Ted responded to the twins. "Through all of us." He held out his hands and the Wilson boys walked the increasingly sluggish Rodrigo forward. As he and Ted were about to collide, Ted jumped into the old man's arms, which cradled the glimmering-eyed Texan like a baby chimpanzee. Looking up at the now dead-eyed and slack jawed Rodrigo, Ted made one request. "Take me home." The Texan, the Mexican and the two Coloradans strode out of the bar and into the world.

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