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FIRE UP YOUR MACBOOK



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24 No. 24 ID: b3efcf
I used to be a 'good' boy. But that was a long time ago, when the machines were still working. I was a driver you know, shoveling coal and sounding the horn every now and then. Fuck, life was good back then.
But those days are over. Goddamn public servants. They serve you alright, on a plate, to whoever pays up. Goddamn assholes. And it's not like they don't have a choice or anything either, oh no. But they don't care, money is money.
Then again, can you blame them? Everyone needs the money these days. You make money or they feed you to some other pisshead who can actually make a living.

I hate slavers. Good for nothing bunch of faggots if you ask me. Fucking all that comes in three times over, and selling the ones that are worn out. Or to difficult to handle of course, like me. Mind you, some of those slaver shitheads do goddamn horrible things to their slaves.
Or 'kids' as they like to say. Hell, if I had to go through what those kids had seen in their lives, I swear, I would have killed myself. I was lucky to have a dad who could cough up the insurance money every week.

And now look where we are. The fucking sewers. Doing nothing else than killing innocent people like my dad. All because of those stupid machines. I hated them back then and I still hate them today. I don't hate them as much as I hate the life of a rebel. At least the machines put bread on the table.
Goddamn rebellion. Fuck.

Rebellion is hard. Killing people is hard. I don't like killing people. Killing the free people I can live with, and the slaves, most of them poor bastards are better of dead anyway, but the kids. I hate killing kids, But hej, most of them probably end up like me anyway, hiding wherever they can, just to stay alive. Fuck, life is shit.
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>> No. 25 ID: 78bc90
File 130562141385.jpg - (375.97KB , 685x1024 , 1304398949219.jpg )
25
The narrative is very harsh. It gets the tone across well but as it goes on it feels alittle forced.

Other than that I like it. Is this an excerpt from a longer story or just as is?
>> No. 29 ID: b3efcf
>>25
the story itself is larger, but I haven't written it down, apart from a few notes here and there. This was the first draft, there are going to be rewrites of rewritten rewrites all over the place.

I'm still experimenting with the way I should tell the story. The above part is a terrorist talking to one or more of his new recruits after a long day of training. I think I can make it work, but I can't tell the whole story in this form.
The next step is to tell part of the story in the form of diary entries, I hope it works.
>> No. 98 ID: 47f08b
This story will be boring if you make it about machines taking over and eating people. Make it about one group of people taking over and eating another group of people. Then you'll be saying something.
>> No. 103 ID: b3efcf
Dear Diary

Today was a good day according to the statisticians. Only one death in the family, 0.12% growth in prosperity, safety in the mid section has increased by 5 and the army expenditure has shrunk once again.
Efficiency of the machines has also increased significantly thanks to research done by one of my uncles, so we could shut down even more of those horrible things. Machines that is, not uncles.

In contrary to what the statisticians try to tell me every day, I thought today was rather dull. Like most days are to be honest. Today was yet another day that no one will remember.
Except maybe for that entertainment girl I had a very interesting conversation with behind our fountain.
She said that I was a cruel man. Sitting in my 'ivory' tower, letting other people work while I did nothing to ease their suffering apart from killing them when they dared to say anything about it.
The fun part of course was the fact that it took her four tries to completely say the whole sentence and even needing my help with it.
In the process she unknowingly admitted one of the lower families had send her. Those people only want power, but fail to understand that they could never handle the kind of responsibility that I have to deal with every day.
I do not think that poor girl could understand the world if she wanted to.

Thank you for listening once again.

Note to the clerk analyzing this log entry for the Safety Service; Fuck you.
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