My relationship has been in a bad way for some time. We've been together a year now, our anniversary (of our first date / official 'relationship') is this month, along with Christmas, New Year's (obviously), and a wedding for which I am in the wedding party and my girlfriend would be my guest.

I don't have the heart to end things right now. I know, I probably should and I'm not doing anyone any favors by waiting until after the holidays; but it seems needlessly cruel and disruptive. I'm torn about how much effort to put out for the season though. I don't dislike her, but I feel we're intractable not right as a couple. We've talked about our concerns repeatedly and have pretty well reached an impasse.

I have significantly more financial resources than she does. When things has been better, I had expected to give her a fairly upscale anniversary and Christmas. I still can, but I'm worried the gesture would either feel hollow, or as a plea to save the relationship, or simply be standoffish. But if things are winding down, not giving my best and trying feels defeatist and resigned.

Thoughts?