I already miss you when you're here.

Can't you bring more to this boardlatioship?

OP again. I have to be more precise.
I have been diagnosed with severe depression about a year and a half ago. I'm on my medication and under medical supervision. Still i have Problems not yet solved.
One of these is, what for I am still living. I have firends, which might miss me, but aren't they better off not having to deal with me?

>>3203

Everything that's led up to the present moment, from your friends, to patterns in your behaviour (including reaching out for help, and not reaching out for help earlier), your value system, your memories, your knowledge, your parenting or lack thereof and even your visit to this board have culminated in you being depressed.

You should start experimenting with your life. And no, that does not mean self-destruction, cause that's what you've been doing that's led you to this point whether you've realised it or not.

Don’t be afraid to love people, even if some don’t love back. Fuck whether your friends will miss you when you're gone, you have no way of verifying that fact as a dead person, you can only hope (fantasise) or get bitter and think they won't. There are no other actual, real, answers to that question. The point is, that's a stupid fucking question. So ask a different one. Or, don't ask at all. Why should the way you live your life come down to some rationalisation in your head?

Lnow when to cut your losses and move on from all that you know. Take risks, make changes, but be very conscienscious and calibrate when you're doing it so that you start climbing out of depression.

It's not going to be easy. Anyone who tells you otherwise hasn't seen shit of depression. It's going to take longer than you think and you're going to relapse.

But, right now your current self has betrayed every part of your innate, human drive to find meaning in your life. You ought to no longer work for youself, but instead your future, potential self that you will one day become.

Drop EVERYTHING that stands in the way of you becoming that person. Sacrifice will be your mantra. Sacrifice everything, including your hope for validation from /docta/ about whether you will be missed, for that robust self-reliant, confident. not mentally ill (yes, depression is a mental illness for a reason, it's not just extreme sadness) person that you will become.

And through that journey you will be something that no one who hasn't lived that struggle has endured.

>>3203

Because existence is not a burden, on yourself or anyone. It is the default mode. No one ever got traumatized by knowing a loved one was alive and well, at least not in the way they would be after scraping bits off skull and brain out of the carpet. Suicide can tend to be contagious as well.

Half my aunts and uncles have attempted suicide. I know that if I off myself at least several other family members may follow me. This cements the idea that I am a part of something greater than myself. A single grain of sand is easily swept away, but a quintillion grains can stop an ocean.