/mind/ how do you deal with envy? I've graduated college, I have a stable job, but I'm still in debt from a credit card, school loans and a car loan, on top of the regular bills I pay. Half the time I'm okay, I can put money away, put it toward paying off my debt and get a beer with friends. I'm not perfect, but I'm learning to manage my money better and better and budget, even if it means that I can't go out as much as I'd like. The other half some big thing hits, like a medical bill or a car maintenance bill and I'm hurting for a little while. It's nothing that kills me for very long, but it's still stressful.

I have a few friends who tell me about their jobs where they're making 20k+ more than me a year, they're really smart, they're successful and seem to have a lot going for them. One of them is interviewing at Google and Facebook, another is head of his department by virtue of being the only person in his department. I'm still plugging along, working on getting further in my career. I know it takes time to gain experience, I know that life isn't fair, and I really don't deserve anything I don't earn myself. But when I hear any of them complain about not making enough money (all are my age) or someone else getting a promotion and making more than them, I get really frustrated and I want to yell "You are doing so much better than me and you're still complaining!" I'm battling this awful feeling, maybe I should say feelings. When I hear them say that, all I feel is my own failure because I haven't reached the point they have and I feel like they're just rubbing it in. I also feel that they're insensitive for bitching about that sort of thing when they have a good idea of how I'm doing. I don't want to resent them, I really want to be happy for them. Most of me is really happy that they are where they are, they've earned it, but at the same time I feel so envious.

How do I get over it? Do I keep thinking positive thoughts until that's my default? Before anyone says that I need to stop being an asshole, please know that I really am making an effort but I want advice on how to be better. I'm also dealing with depression and anxiety that are compounding what I feel and I've started seeing a therapist but it may be awhile before all of this can be unpacked.

I don't want to have a small meltdown on my friends for sharing their successes with me, simply because I'm not happy with where I am now. I want to know how I handle my feelings better.