Well, assuming that you both want to continue having intense sex option 1 is obviously the best. The fact that this has happened before means that you are probably overly attached and need to exercise self control with your emotions, which can obviously be difficult. I would avoid giving her a dramatic all or nothing ultimatum, as you know that rarely turns out well.

How long have you known her? If she is reluctant to express interest other than wanting to fuck I would begin looking for another lover, you can't convince someone to love you regardless of how strong your feelings are. Next time remember not to love someone more than is wise, take it easy.

What worries me is "she doesn't want to be involved with anyone on an emotional level", I can't make sweeping assumptions about your relationship from what you've told us but this phrase clearly suggests that she is not interested romantically. Don't let me discourage you though, perhaps she has just had bad experiences in the past and you need to demonstrate that you're different from the rest.

Best of luck Q

>>2882
While I can agree that perhaps I am a bit overly attached, I have no intentions of introducing any kind of ultimatum. I won't put that kind of stress on her.

You seem to be under the impression that she is 100% not interested in anyone full stop. Not so. She acknowledges that it is a temporary measure, and in certain moments she's mentioned that I do stand out from the pack that seems to have surrounded her as of late.

I guess in the end, there's a certain chemistry between us that I can rely on. She'll be ready when she's ready and the best I can do is be there when it happens.

>>2883
Chemistry will always show through eventually, sometimes there's just a lot in the way.

That said, however, if you feel like you could lose sight of your senses involving this girl, perhaps you need to make a decision of self-preservation rather than self-satisfaction.

I would make the self-satisfaction choice, because I'm a sucker for punishment, and would do it with full knowledge that it might blow up in my face.

Do you go down on her? Have you both gotten tested, and, regardless, do you know how to use a dental dam? I'm a simplistic fuck and equate good oral sex with good communication. You probably already know this, but... just be prepared: it really, really leaves you open. Take it slow, and _not intense_. I'm a failure of a person, but I think if you never have before, and can get her off without making any sudden movements, she might see things slightly (and I mean slightly) differently.

Treating people as physical systems maybe risks ignoring the spiritual and personal, if there is one. But. There's a basic quantum mechanical law that my old acoustics prof cites to say that we're basically not as conscious as we think we are: "Bell's Theorem". There's basically no non-dry explanation, but it boils down to "You can't talk accurately about alternatives." I'm not a fan.

I guess I'd think about how it is you guys started having sex to begin with. Maybe try to figure out more about her, being prepared to separate your image of her with what a little bit of (call it depressive or pessimistic or middling-low-realistic) extended thinking might reveal.

Sounds like maybe she's got self-esteem issues. I've found that trying to talk around them or about them can just make 'em worse, and to some degree everyone's different.

You also might be like, "No ultimatums or bullshit, right? If I'm nagging just tell me to stfu, and maybe gtfo until one of us calls, and I won't bring it up again. I think this is important but not as important as our friendship. Here's kind of what I think might be happening here: You're not comfortable being treated like you're perfect because it might blow up in your face. A lot of people end up using some really unpleasant emotional judo to remove happiness by 'caring'. Maybe it's no one's fault; it's just how the wavelengths work out, right? But I don't want that, and I don't think you want that, and this might seem really kinky, but as a friend I'd like one of us to give the other a genuine compliment, no strings attached. If not, that's fine - I know I'm cool. :)" If she accepts, you've got two choices... as long as it's not causing your relationship to destruct, fish for the right one, and don't accept negging... or defuse the first one she gives you via positivity, if you've ever done that anywhere else with her and it's drawn a good response. If she can't or won't not-neg you, ask if it's OK if you try to show her how it's done. The issue is, you might essentially be the same people, just at right angles, right? She feels safe when emotions are off the table. That might be intractable for you, and might change the moment she meets the kind of safe guy that you dream of being for her. Or worse, someone just in disguise thereas. Maybe she just genuinely does not need an emotional connection to anyone, period, and it's not for anyone to judge if that's a thing she wants or not. Maybe the stars are just not aligned and she just will never have an emotional connection with you. Don't stress over this, but do prepare for the worst: Maybe she's just impossible to talk to about this, and she's on the path to an inevitable drama fuckup like the 'oh shit surprise badboy' above. That's kind of how I relate to the universe, so. Do what you can, and stay safe.

I'd go for the reverse friendzone via oral sex of various sorts creep - it's kind of a gamble, to be honest, and very little in my life has worked out the way I'd have liked it to, so it's probably a sign of poor decision making. Maybe some people just prefer to be left alone to their emotions until they're ready.

I don't know squat about metaphors, but... maybe some seeds sprout more readily after being removed from the fruit they're in, and some sprout better left in. Treating people like plants seems like... well, like going out on a limb, to be honest. I really don't know. You're basically handling what might be partly antimatter. If you can play your cards right you might be set for life - and that's no accusation against you if you don't. You might not have the necessary cards here, or house rules might be trouble.

Do you do things like bring her lunch, or take her out for meals, or share water, etc.?

A way to potentially really screw yourself over is to try and rewire yourself to hear "You're a really good friend" as "I love you, but can't bring myself to say it out loud for whatever reason." If that works, though, and there's no competition lurking (Whether or not driving away competition is a good idea is most likely contextual, and critical, so this advice is missing a core component >_o) maybe just work on your friendship and branch out activities. Maybe past a certain point, if she suggests something, just be like "I'd prefer to do this as ___friend and girlfriend, but if those terms are really uncomfortable for you, that's fine."

Good luck, and here's to hoping you both wake up to what wonderful people you are in each others' lives. :)

>>2887

Make your intentions obviously sexual so that she will understand you're interested in her. That's what girls like! They actually like sex! Duh! And most of them don't like guys who think sex is a sin.