Your mind is most likely using her memory as a cover for the real problem. What that might be I cannot tell, but the most common reasons are fear of rejection or a fear of intimacy.

Oh dear, this thread's still here? Nobody replied? it's 9 years now.

>>2604
It's only been two months and this is 99chan. And you did get a reply, and a good one at that: >>2600

Your obsession with a missed opportunity from nearly a decade ago is not the problem, it's a symptom of a larger problem. Look into counseling options to help you figure out what's going on and work through this. I would also suggest journaling.

Maybe you feel like you don't deserve to be happy and this is a good way to make that real. If you missed this opportunity that would have been 'so good', you can't do anything about it apart from blame yourself. You 'missed your chance' and now you suffer. The trouble is, this feeling isn't very helpful for you, so you need to change it.

Looking at it this way might help you to change the way you look at it. If it's an outlet for a negatively based feeling, then what or how could you move out of that?

Can somebody give me an idiots guide in simple steps on how to forget? I mean move on, letting it go, etc. In no way would I want to get serious with her now, but when we were both 16...

You talk about an underlining problem, how can I get to the root of the problem. (I can't afford therapy)

>>2622

There is no idiot's guide on how to make your brain do anything. Psychological shortcuts are things you get from drug pushers, cult leaders, and motivational charlatans. Good advice will always sound like work.

>>2622
>how can I get to the root of the problem. (I can't afford therapy)
Do some research, there are tons of community programs that provide counseling services to low-income people. They are either free or on an income-based sliding scale. The free ones are harder to get into but if you're under 24, there are tons of free programs; if you're a university student, there are usually on-campus counseling options. If you're over 24, you're less likely to find a free program unless you're a homeless schizophrenic, but there are tons of options on a sliding price scale. Go to your doctor if you have one - or a walk-in clinic if you don't - and inquire about affordable mental health/counseling options, look into community centers, shelters, Salvation Army or other similar organizations... Basically, google, phone, inquire, research. There are counseling options available if you do some research into community outreach programs in your area. You will probably have to spend a few weeks on a wait list, but that's no big deal; if you've been dealing with this for 9 years, you can wait 10 more weeks.

Right now I am paying $18 per session for 10 weekly sessions at a non-profit that uses trained volunteers. That totals $180 spread over like 3 months. If my income were a couple grand lower, it would be $12/session and could go as low as $7/session for some people. My counselor is great, well trained, and the sessions are very CBT and results oriented.

>>2622
Studying psychology helps. That's how I learn about myself, anyways.

The most common questions therapists ask are how does that make you feel, what do you mean by that and why do you feel that way. Just ask yourself those questions when you aren't sure about something. Sometimes the answers you come up with will surprise you.

Try to think about why you are obsessed with this girl. What was so wonderful about her? Why do you feel like you missed a once in a lifetime opportunity?

>>2636
Yes.

Pic related. The movie shows you what happens if you head down the self-destructive path of perusing unrequited love.

I've had my fair share of shrinks over the years and all I can say is they're good for one thing: Prescriptions. All, ALL they do is ask you the questions you just did. It would be great to get an answer though, instead they just put up with me cause I paid for 45min of "therapy". Seriously, sometimes he just talks about what's on HIS mind, or simply the weather. Maybe I've just had my bad share of experiences.

She's single now, lives somewhere else.

>>2643
Hmm. Weird. Usually that sort of therapy works for me. They ask me questions I wouldn't think to ask myself and I come up with surprising answers. To each his own, I suppose.