Sounds like some very short term, superficial friendships. (The word superficial isn't negative in this case)

Maybe it's to do with some sort of reliance on the other person, perhaps an over-reliance. There's nothing wrong with you thought.

When I started my college (I'm in the UK so I was 16 at the time) I found it amazing to be around a new crowd of people. For two months, it was apparently amazing, because of all the new people around. Unfortunately, I didn't really work to develop any relationships that were meaningful to me. So I ended up with a big group of people that I had made no effort to get to know.

It's good to have people coming and going in your life, but maybe you need to work at some more meaningful relationships?

Lastly, if you're spending time with coursemates or co-workers, do you think that there could be a chance that your exhausting eachother? I worked over the weekend with a coursemate, so we basically ended up spending 9-6 every day together. We both got a bit sick of eachother at that point because it was just too much time in the same person's company.

Maybe work on finding more of a balance between social time and alone time. I need a good dose of alone time after being social. If you go out and socialize one weekend, then the next weekend make sure you don't make any plans so you can be alone. Then the weekend after that, go be social again.

Also, try being upfront with people about the fact that you need lots of alone time. Let them know that you don't like to hang out super often but that doesn't mean you don't like them, just that you are a bit of an introvert and need time in between social activities.

>>2544
I will agree that most of my friendships are quite superficial, and that the majority of friendships will be that way, since you can't be best buds with every single person you meet, but I came to the realization today that the problem inherently lies with me. Ever since I was a kid I immersed myself in fantasy worlds through video games, finding it easy to slip into the persona of the main character as I play. It was easy for me to be anyone I wanted whenever I wanted, and I never really developed a real personality of my own. I realized I have no real beliefs, opinions, or sense of self in general, since I lived only through other (imaginary) people's lives. Alcohol just increased this escapism, and so I've decided to be sober from now on.

Problem is, with no real life experience at 25 years old, nothing having shaped me as a person, it seems impossible for me to go beyond the superficial small-talk stage and really form a meaningful relationship, because how can I truly open up to someone if there's nothing to open up about, no deeper part of me to actually show a person?

It was a severely depressing realization, and I'm at a loss to figure out a solution. How does one define oneself? Hobbies and interests? Beliefs and opinions? Something deeper that I just don't have? How does one begin to define oneself? Do close friendships require two people to have the same interests or beliefs?

Maybe I'm placing too much emphasis on defining myself and not simply trying to have a good time with another person, to get closer with a person through real life experiences rather than simply understanding each other on a mental level, but again, without a real sense of self how can I contribute myself to making these experiences? I mostly just sit around wishing I had something of value to contribute to a situation as I quietly observe from the sidelines, so it's easy to see how others may interpret that as a cold indifference and assume I'm not interested in continuing the friendship, but I'm really at a loss as to how to contribute anything to the time we spend hanging out.

This is probably becoming more of a self-psychological evaluation than anything else, but I feel like it would be the first step to being able to have real relationships, so hopefully this is still relevant to /docta/.

Could it be some form of Narcissism?
You say you're preoccupied with yourself, and your attitude sounds exactly like the contempt for people that narcissists usually have. Moreso, you say 'I get to know someone perfectly easily'. What about them to you? Do you find that more often than not you have an image rather than people knowing your 'true self'?

>>2552
I couldn't honestly say I'm aware of my narcissism if I do have it. I think I have a less than average self image actually. And contempt doesn't seem the right word either, more that I get frustrated with people for not knowing how to continue to interact with them as time passes, and withdraw from them when one or the other loses interest in trying. Hell, I don't even really like being alone, but between that and wracking my brain trying to figure out how to keep a friendship going when I don't know how, I just automatically chose isolation.

As I said, all I have is an "image" I present as there really isn't much "true self" to show them, because when I've gotten right down to it, I don't see there as being just a whole lot to my personality at all, and I don't know why that is.

You say that you lose interest. This only describes your behavior. What does it feel like?

When you say that you don't have anything to open up about, that's a very familiar feeling to me. You feel like you're not interesting to others, that talking about the things you enjoy would only bore them.

You don't know that, though. It's simply a fear you have. You are afraid to talk to people.

So, what you should be talking to your therapist about is social anxiety disorder. It's a very common and fairly simple diagnosis, they'll be able to help you.