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No. 2464
Hi!
Love is a need for a log of people. Humans are very hard wired to be social and to love. Since you can't just demand a person love you, you might have to get creative. You don't want to be desperate? Give yourself what you need. Hug yourself, or a pillow, talk to yourself and give yourself back rubs. Smile and just talk to yourself. Take yourself out somewhere nice. It will fel hollow and stupid at first, and you will not see what help it could possibly be to pretend. If you just roll with it for a while and get into a habit of giving yourself some love and affection it's not like the desire will go away but it will be more manageable. Your goal should be to function, not to be in a 100% perfect state. Right now you are letting a basic need cripple you because you have no idea how to have it met. Meet that need with the tools you have even if it's not perfect and things will get better. When I have a really hard time I don't pretend I'm fine, I acknowledge that I am in pain and I let myself feel it all the way through. i cry, I shudder and shake, and I pick myself up and give myself a pep talk in the third person and massage my own neck. I go take a shower and go for a walk. I play with my dog and plat some flowers. I make some music and play a video game. And it still hurts, but i'm a few hours later and I functioned though my day. Every time second I don't kill myself is a second I am getting stronger, a second I am less hurt by the loneliness and despair. I acknowledge it and embrace it and I let it hurt me as much as it can. So that I can get back up, and be less hurt next time.
You don't need any treatment, what you need is pushups. You need some anger because life isn't fair. You need a positive attitude in spite or the reality of the world, which is that shit sucks unless you work really hard to make it not suck. Count your blessings, pray to something, make a sacrifice to an elder god or write a letter to the things controlling you and burn it. Or attack it to a balloon. Just do something physical that validates your feelings, then feel them. Go to the top of a mountain and feel the pain at the summit. Fuck everyone. Use it as a tool to become strong and sexy. The second you don't need girls they will be interested in you. Maybe you just keep your eyes on 1 girl for too long when other girls are looking at you. If you really accept the loneliness and the isolation, if you internalize it and make it part of who you are then it won't control you anymore. If you deny a feeling you are only compounding the issue. By trying to not be desperate you make yourself more desperate. Be desperate, and then you can take a deep breath. It's who you are, no reason to be ashamed or anxious. Once you're only feeling alone, and not alone AND depressed AND anxious you will find it is a common feeling, not very powerful, easily mitigated by some weed and music. Then you are in control and all the bitches will flock because you know the secret! Accept who you are and what you are feeling and then it won't be so hard to deal with.
I hope this helps
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