/docta/, I need to ask you something.

Long story short, when I ended up in a youth shelter, I met this girl. I was 19 and I am now 25. We still talk to each other but we had long periods where we were out of eachother's sight because life often got in the way. Somehow we managed to keep contact still to this day.

I always were there for her and I always really liked that girl a lot. I still do. I never got to tell her how I felt fully because I told her I did feel something about her but I couldn't describe it because I still yet to find out if it's deep affection or love for her. She said she really like me as a person but we never had a talk about how we feel toward one another honestly. I never got myself to tell her I love her because I am afraid it would create some uneasiness between us. It is silly to think this since we did have sex once years ago when we were drunk and we laughed about it without any sort of after-glow shame. I just can't help to fear what if she saw that as a bad thing that I have feelings for her that she cannot return. I don't know much.

I had a talk with her once online about how distance had split us apart and I understood that as a normal circumstance and I was not saying that as a affront to her. She said that our friendship is still possible but we need to ''rediscover'' each other because we changed and evolved differently her and I. I want to take that chance that maybe we could spend time together and I could maybe be in her life as I was before.

Last summer, she told me about how she met this guy and she was in love with him although she met him for barely a few months. She moved in with him and she told me she can't wait to get out because he is bad to her and calls her names and shit. I wanted to tell her in the beginning she was hasting things but I knew that I would have rained on her parade and would not have listened to me anyway.

She also told me recently how she went to seek counciling at her school and she has borderline personality and she is affection dependent. Since, I don't know how to handle her. We still plan to meet in mid-february and do something.

I might have a extra money income then so I thought to maybe invite her out as a late birthday present but on the second hand I hesitate since I never was popular with women in general and I fear she will friendzone me in advance and just take the free rides I give her until I tell her I want her in my life as a lover. It is not the first time women took advantage of me that way and I fear she may be just like the rest.

Help me out /docta/.