I want to make art and do it in such a way that I don't have to have any kind of regular, permanent job and am also able to travel. Building momentum and developing a following are kind of my main focuses right now. A lot of people (who all seem to have gone to university for art-related things) have been telling me that I need to make connections with curators and galleries in order to reach an audience but I think that going top-down like that is outdated; most reasonably successful artists I know (musicians, webcomic creators, and printmakers mostly) reached self-sustainability by focusing first on cultivating a fanbase. Then galleries/promoters/venues/etc approached them. Even with a comparatively small local following, this worked. So that is what I'm doing.

I would also like to go into deep space.

I want to kill myself in the most elaborate, complicated process that would baffle generations to come.

>>74259
"He committed suicide by spending 70 years on 99chan.org instead of accomplishing anything."
"Baffling, Rhonda. Baffling."

I'd like to enjoy myself or at the very least be okay with myself.
And OP,
you should develop more efficient and less impact crops,
the current ones are garbage and they ruin land.
Also honeybees are being killed by mites more than they are by pesticides.
I don't think space colonization is a ballza idea yet,
we hardly know anything about our own goddamn planet and yet we constantly think that we outsmart nature when in actuality,
we just fix problems that were our fault to begin with or we shoot our selves in the foot unknowingly.
How are we going to sustain life on another planet when we can't even sustain it here?

>>74264
I think I'm going to commit suicide due to all of your pointless line breaking.

I want to spend my life trying to understand and be close to God. My avenues toward this, right now, are meditation, trying to help people and be close to people, appreciating and creating beautiful art, and spiritual reading, and general learning. I kinda do all those things now, but not as much as I feel I should. And I don't create any art even though I hellza want to. I spend most of my time distracting myself with movies, or video games, or liquor. It's hard to pull oneself out of a painful situation, but it's also hard to exit a comfortable situation.

OP, your assertion that you can sustainably and economically grow crops indoors seems to me like it violates Newton's law of conservation of matter and energy. Can one grow enough crops in a closed system to produce enough energy to sustain oneself without additional external inputs?

>>74269
Yeah habit is a powerful force. It's easy to settle in a rut that doesn't make you happy and hard to work toward something that will be better in the long run (or even the short run).

I'd suggest finding as much external accountability as possible. Instead of trying to do all this reading and creating on your own time, involve other people. For the meditating, find a Buddhist center or some other organization nearby; chances are they offer free meditation sessions or even classes where you have a set start date and go every week for 6 months or so. If you have a regular class that you go to, or even just a session where people expect to see you (or you feel like they do) it helps cultivate that discipline.

Same goes for art. You don't necessarily have to take a class, but it can be as easy as letting a close friend or two know "I am/want to work on [project]. I'll show you when I've made progress!" That's been great for me, as friends are excited and encouraging about that kind of thing. If you have a friend who is creative, consider collaborating on something.

If I may recommend something that worked for me, I suggest counselling. You don't need to be paying $100/hr for a psychologist or anything; lots of community centers, family organizations, campuses, etc. have accessible counselling facilities. The one I went to was on an income-based sliding scale so if you make less than 30k you pay like $10/session and was staffed by trained volunteers who had some kind of training or background in the field (from an applied counselling certificate all the way up to doctors; mine had a Ph.D and worked in the prison system) but weren't getting paid to be there.

Anyway, the point is I didn't go to cry about anything. I just wanted some outside accountability for productivity and goal setting and my counselor was great for that. She helped me develop a comfortable, flexible schedule for achieving my goals with regard to art and learning and gave me some great tools for holding myself accountable without beating myself up (which was a big problem for me: I wouldn't be productive, so I'd feel like I wasted a day, so then I'd be more likely to just slip into those comfortable bad habits, like internet porn which would waste more time and the cycle would continue).

I still have ballza periods and bad periods but there's definitely a stronger current of active creativity in my life and I don't get so down on myself self-esteem wise when I fall back.

And if you're looking to feel close to God, I would suggest getting involved in some kind of volunteer work or activism.

>>74280
That all sounds like very ballza advice. I probably won't be taking any of it though. I don't want to condition myself to be a better animal, I want to learn discipline and be a better human. It's hard going, and I fail often, but my faith keeps me from giving up even in the face of impossibility.

I'd like to complete my Ph.D in mathematics and make a contribution to the greatest procession of knowledge in human history.

>>74272


>OP, your assertion that you can sustainably and economically grow crops indoors seems to me like it violates Newton's law of conservation of matter and energy. Can one grow enough crops in a closed system to produce enough energy to sustain oneself without additional external inputs?

It does have external inputs. As OP said:
>We're almost to the point where energy storage and solar panel efficiency are cost effective enough to start growing all our produce indoors

Solar panels would power indoor lights that give off a usable spectrum of light to plants.

>indoor lights that give off a usable spectrum of light to plants.

why do you need an extra step to make sunlight do something it already does

what you are looking for already exists, it is called a greenhouse except it doesn't use your retardedly inefficient method

>>74285
I had no idea that learning tools for setting goals and engaging with the greater community around you for support with those goals was an "animal" act and not a human one.

You want to learn to be a more disciplined human. Taking concrete steps toward greater discipline will not accomplish that. That's for animals.

>>74295
Its not just the lighting, its heating and if necessary, cooling as well. Also, you'd need electricity to power water pumps and such for permaculture/aquaculture systems. For the type of growing system OP is talking about, which I would assume is multi-tiered and space efficient, growing with just the sun would not work simply because anything below the top tier of plants would not get sunlight. Also If you read the OPs post you'd also know they want to ultimately develop this for use in space where it's probably not wise to expose your produce to direct sun radiation.

>>74299
Also, not to mention complete control over light depending on the crop would improve yield immensely. Some plants flourish under 24/7 lighting conditions, while others require cycles.

>>74294
>>74299
>>74300
>I'd like to develop more efficient and less impactful means of growing food. I don't think what we're doing is going to be sustainable much longer.

There is no way in hell growing crops indoors is going to be more efficient/environmentally friendly than current farming technology. You're just trading one thing you don't like (pesticides, soil erosion, fertilizer runoff) for something else. Like the 10,000 electric lights, solar panels, fertilizer and other chemicals you'll need just magically appear out of no where and their manufacture and disposal have zero effect on the environment. What I read OP asserting is that we can get more efficient production by growing crops indoors. Included in that efficiency equation is probably things like environmental impact, which hey, fanfucking-tastic, but you're not going to get more out of it environmentally or production wise by growing them indoors. Space crops fine, but not to feed 7 billion people..

>>Growing everything indoors would eliminate the need for pesticides and fungicides

you never had an indoor garden

you create a micro-climate which can and does produce mold, fungus, and insects