I had and enjoyed a Margarita once. I'm considering teaching myself to make them but the salt won't do my blood pressure good.

Get into whiskey. I fucking love bourbon. Elijah Craig is my favorite brand. Start with mixing 1 part whiskey to two parts lemonade to ease yourself in. Then when you're ready, you can drink it neat like a real man.

P.S. Stay away from so called "baby whiskey", which means shit hasn't been aged. Generally, anything less than 10 years isn't good. Anything less than 8 should only be used to degrease axles.

>>1585
Not sure if I can get Elijah Craig here, Jamieson is the most common choice I think. I'll give it a go.
Just picked up some tequila and cointreau but no where is selling lemon or lime juice. Might try pineapple juice instead.

Ok the pineapple sort of works but it needs to be more sour. I'll try and get some lime tomorrow. Maybe some rock salt too, fine grain is a bit shit. And a glass and a mixing whatsit.
There I was hoping it would be cheaper to drink spirits than wine.

Stay the fuck away from orange juice as a mixer.

>Not sure if I can get Elijah Craig here

Elijah Craig is even pretty hard to come by in the states. But it's good shit.

Whatever you do, don't smoke alcohol.

I know, that sounds retarded, but it is legitimately something that people are doing under multiple pretenses, including that it does not cause any weight gain.

Alcohol vapors that are inhaled into the lungs pass into your bloodstream immediately. This means you don't get any filtration through your digestive system or your liver. It's really easy to overdo it and end up with alcohol poisoning.

Well, I drink scotch. My favorite brands are Monkey Shoulder, Ballantines, and then Grants. I don't drink those often, because they are more expensive than Black Douglas, Bannister and Teachers, so I drink those.

I used to drink beer but it wasn't getting me drunk enough, fast enough, it was making me burp, and it was making me fat.

I drink scotch straight now, mixing with coke is kinda pointless, and I only care about getting drunk, not the taste or appearance so much.

Some people have trouble drinking scotch straight at room temperature, the trick is that it only tastes shitty once; the first mouthful. What you've got to do is swirl that shit around in your mouth for 20-30 seconds like mouthwash or your stepdads cum, and then swallow. This'll numb your tongue and mouth a little, and each subsequent mouthful will be much easier to take.

I love scotch. Scotchy scotchy scotch.

Start out with an expensive scotch, not a cheap one. Give monkey shoulder a shot if you can find it.

Everclear. Get super drunk with a minimum intake of liquid or calories.

Unfortunately for most of us here on 99chan, we're successful alcoholics. What that means is that we can afford to support our habit through work with little negative impact on our lives other than being shitfaced.

The classic wafer thin alcoholic look is achieved by poor people because they literally don't eat for days at a time, or if they do it's a sandwich or cereal. They instead prefer to spend their money on ale and cigarettes. They just don't have the ability to eat a normal diet and drink.

You on the other hand, presumably can afford to stock your larder while splurging insane amounts on high end box wine. (As an aside, if you really want to get drunk on the cheap, drink 3L bottles of cider - £3.50 for 22 units.)

Alcohol, as you know inhibits your ability to exercise restraint, especially where food is concerned. If you have the food in, you'll eat it. If you have the money in, you'll order something.

The only solution is to lock your spare money away in a savings account you can't readily access, and only keep out enough to eat and drink small amounts. Alternatively, you could develop bulimia. It's not like you care about your insides anyway.

A quick google has informed me that beer is about 80 calories per unit and whiskey is 50. It's quite a difference but I don't think it would matter in the grand scheme of things.

Salmiakkikoskenkorva. Lest it contain a lot of sugar, it should be perfect. (Real) liquorice kills cravings for sweets. Otherwise, vodka.

Mind you, ethanol itself is pretty energy-dense.