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File 145130553898.jpg - (250.03KB , 500x667 , tumblr_n6fyik7oMF1tnz3goo1_500.jpg )
76725 No. 76725 hide quickreply [Reply]
If someone vandalizes a public bathroom, who gets in trouble? It's illegal to install cameras in shitters, right?
>> No. 76729
You can always install cameras outside of the bathrooms. They'd probably find you if you made a lot of noise and caused a lot of damage.
>> No. 76732
"Vandalize" is a term so broad that it could be your mother.

I find ultra fine point Sharpies to be well suited for writing on drywall and toilet stalls, which is great if you want to continue the tradition of using public bathrooms as a proto-/b/. For anything more destructive than that, remember that Ernest Hemingway had to write several books before he could get away with shotgunning a crapper.


File 144811660666.png - (380.77KB , 291x606 , dreamcats2.png )
76179 No. 76179 hide expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
Post your dreams!
47 posts and 12 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76547
>>76542
That happens to me sometimes except it's real life and I'm the one making women cry.
>> No. 76561
>>76547
May God bless and keep you, my son.
>> No. 76575
My dream began with me living with my extended family, somewhere rural and wasteland-like. It reminded me of Oklahoma during the Great Depression. In the foyer there was a small, old, decrepit tree growing through the floor. It was only about five feet high but it was thick and black and all gnarled. The ghost of my dead cousin was haunting the tree.
Everyone else in the house had accepted the haunting. The ghost just kinda wandered around the house, moved stuff sometimes. It wasn't much of a nuisance but they still wanted rid of her. It was almost a hobby for me and my other cousins: try and get rid of the ghost. She would talk to us if we asked, and would usually tell us to do all this occult stuff to put her soul at peace. The father of the household, my uncle, made a concerted effort one day and my dead cousin told him that we had to all prick our fingers with a needle and make a daily blood sacrifice on the tree. So a regiment of blood sacrifice was instituted. I know this was bullshit though, she had told us to do shit like this before and it never worked.
The next day I went up to the tree, and my dead cousin was wandering aimlessly around it as usual. I made eye contact and began striding up to her with intent. She took notice and steeled herself, but when I came closed enough I embraced her. Normally we couldn't touch her, but this time I could hold her like she was hellza there. She started crying, and I held her closer and told her it was going to be okay. I asked her why she was making us do all these silly things. She replied that she just wanted us to leave. She was bound to the tree and couldn't move on to the afterlife, but just wanted to be alone. I released her from my embrace and told her to tell me what had happened to her. She had died before I came to live here, but I had a vague memory that she had died in some kind of accident, or of a disease. At this request my cousin began sobbing again, shaking her head and telling me she couldn't. I said if she couldn't tell me that she should show me, implying I wanted her to possess me and give me some sort of ghost-vision. She seemed taken aback and asked if I was sure, as she could cause a lot of havoc if allowed to possess a human. I told her that I trusted her, at which she slowly melted into my body.
I relived the moments of her death. My poor cousin was in her room, writing, when our great aunt came in. Our great aunt was very old and cruel. In this instance, she was also drunk. The old aunt began to berate my cousin, mocking her youthful beauty out of jealousy. My cousin began to grow afraid and backed up into the corner of her room as our great aunt loomed over her, a drunken tower of ancient envy. The great aunt began to beat her with a bottle of liquor. When the bottle broke she began to cut her. I remember experiencing all of my cousins emotions and sensations during this time, it was awful.
Suddenly I was back standing by the decrepit tree with the ghost of my cousin. She was crying again, apologizing profusely for putting me through that unfortunate experience. I was shaking from the vision, but told her that it was okay. I told her I would make sure our great aunt was turned in, that she paid.
The next day the police came and arrested my great aunt. They dragged her kicking and screaming through the old house and out into the desert. The rest of my family was very somber, but we noticed that, at last, the ghost of my dead cousin had passed on and no longer haunted the decrepit tree in the foyer.
>> No. 76576
I dreamed I had tumors on my head and it was slightly worrying.

>> No. 76720
I dreamed someone I cared about was out of prison and was having a merry christmas with his family. He wore a santa hat, drank eggnog with booze, smiled and promised that he would turn his life around.


File 145056344461.png - (157.72KB , 620x349 , kiss.png )
76578 No. 76578 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Fuck star-wars. How can anyone enjoy the franchise despite all the commercial whoring it's doing? Shit, there's even a Jarjar make-out simulator lollipop. It's shameless.

28 posts and 6 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76699
File 145112857563.jpg - (56.12KB , 625x938 , hermignonne.jpg )
76699
>>76697
They're casting a black woman as Hermione in the Harry Potter play.

http://thinkprogress.org/culture/2015/12/21/3734243/rowling-reacts-to-black-hermione/
>> No. 76701
>>76699
Disgusting. We need black Harry to make this right.
>> No. 76706
>>76697
Well, so long as you get mad at literally every movie that has a black guy when it doesn't need one, because guess what? They're all in there for what could be called "social justice reasons".

And you obviously don't know what a token is. Billy Dee Williams, as ballza as he was, was a token black.
>> No. 76707
>>76706
Oh I do get mad. Mad as hell. Every time.
>> No. 76716
>>76699
Yes!!! So long as the Durseleys he lives with are still white.


File 145112844915.jpg - (190.97KB , 500x479 , poop.jpg )
76698 No. 76698 hide quickreply [Reply]
What is this poop shop supposed to sell? Stool softeners?
>> No. 76700
The "train to nowhere" is quite obviously labeled "the train to death" so someone is lying. Knowing how tidy gays are, I bet the hiking trail is nice and clean, probably not a bad place for an afternoon.
>> No. 76709
dibs on calling my band rainbow death club
>> No. 76715
The labeling of the houses confuses me a little. Is a bunch of single guys living in houses hellza the worst thing about the Gay Agenda? Wouldn't you want to portray them as all living together in a longhouse having perpetual orgies or something?


File 144517870983.jpg - (60.19KB , 1000x794 , nothing full.jpg )
75472 No. 75472 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
How do I lower my tolerance for a drug, aside from just not doing it for a while? My medication isn't working anymore and I can't get a higher prescription because it's a controlled substance.
15 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76608
>>76589
then your deserve to being shitty 24/7. ballza luck wit that.
>> No. 76612
File 14508322801.jpg - (76.31KB , 550x640 , lilkim.jpg )
76612
>>76588

I want to live in a world where this show is a real thing.
>> No. 76614
>>76588
It's missing a character who starts out as part of supporting cast but the show becomes all about them in season 3.
>> No. 76705
>>76588

If the wife was a man, where did the son come from?
>> No. 76708
>>76705
The wife and doctor (the real ones) had the sons years ago. Then the wife was killed and skinned and replaced by an impostor. Then the doctor.


File 145104263186.jpg - (97.03KB , 900x622 , lady.jpg )
76682 No. 76682 hide quickreply [Reply]
why did chicks in the 50's have such big hair
>> No. 76683
File 145106492248.jpg - (37.24KB , 294x441 , aighties.jpg )
76683
why did chicks in the 80's have such big hair
>> No. 76684
Are the '20s the next decade of futuristically big hair?


File 14510325435.jpg - (187.63KB , 1080x1080 , 11350776_130555533953708_748183649_n.jpg )
76680 No. 76680 hide quickreply [Reply]
I have noticed that in the last couple of years when I go to the movies I am overwhelmed during certain scenes. It appears to be the enormity of the situation playing on screen or perhaps the emotions of the characters presented on screen that causes me to react. I have been having to fight back tears. Even today, when I went to go see Star Wars, there were at least five different times I had this reaction.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to react emotionally to movies, but these seem to be more frequent and less connected to the plot or investment one could have with the characters.

Have you guys ever had this happen?
>> No. 76681
File 145104093222.jpg - (131.26KB , 800x1185 , changeling.jpg )
76681
I cried during changeling because the protagonist was so desperate and helpless.


File 144817698293.jpg - (284.36KB , 711x1080 , Geordi_La_Forge_2368.jpg )
76202 No. 76202 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I'm watching that Star Trek where Geordi gets friendzoned and it is so painful to watch and I can't stop laughing.

He makes a girl uncomfortable by telling her he's been making a computer simulation of her on the holodeck.

I can't stop laughing.
15 posts and 11 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76310
File 144894831617.jpg - (6.22KB , 236x233 , excited cat.jpg )
76310
>>76300
the motherhooligan looks like it's a deep fried oven mitt.
>> No. 76313
What would you do if you went to blockbuster's, rented a cool VHS but instead received a deep fried cumsock?
>> No. 76328
>>76313
Probably this >>76300
>Lick the cumsock. Lick it.
>> No. 76336
>>76313
Well first I'd wonder how the fuck I went back in time to where Blockbuster and VHS were relevant things.

I tried to imagine a future where one can stream cumsocks on Netflix, but then I remembered that if you know where to look it's already possible even without future technology to find streaming cum.
>> No. 76679
Star trek reminds me of an after school special. I still like it though.


File 145099672278.jpg - (41.93KB , 865x742 , 01.jpg )
76669 No. 76669 hide quickreply [Reply]
Hello 99chan.

Been gone for like 5 years (?). You guys still exist? I'm impressed.

Whatchu been up to guys. Tell me some life stories.
>> No. 76670
not this shit again
>> No. 76671
File 145099973346.png - (246.00KB , 250x338 , 00crowdad.png )
76671
>>76670

Why not? I'm 5 years out of date. What's happened here?
>> No. 76672
rhaegar died of tularemia
hobbes and bread joined isis.
>> No. 76677
File 145103048563.jpg - (166.59KB , 1080x1080 , 12224177_914548515291998_1866567570_n.jpg )
76677
Not much hellza, just y'know, conversations. I have been gone for a while, off rock climbing across the country.


File 144894176349.jpg - (145.17KB , 1300x866 , glasses of piss.jpg )
76306 No. 76306 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I always get hellza nostalgic for 99chan around the holiday season. Around the time I was first coming here in 2008/09, I was living in a new city, struggling with feelings of isolation and loneliness, and 99 was a huge comfort back then. 420chan was as well, and as a result I tend to visit there around the holidays more than any other time of year.

My life is much better now than it was then, so I don't need to hang out on /b/ or in livestreams of Bad Santa and the Peanuts xmas special run by 99 and 420 posters to feel like I have companionship. But I still feel drawn here around this time and it makes me reflect on the handful of cozy evenings spent drinking tea, watching a stream of the Trailer Park Boys Christmas when I had no one irl to curl up with and trading "awws" with Actual on /cat/.

These days, in addition to many other improvements, I have a fluffywuffy kitty next to me as I type this. But that doesn't diminish my affection for this place and the people who post here, insufferable as some of you are :3

Here's to you, 99chan/Anonymous/Bronlonius/Ronnie James Dio/Gaius Flaccus/Doctor Anonymous M.D. Happy December

Cheers.
12 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76388
>>76374

What if you panic and forget the instructions and blow by accident?
>> No. 76414
File 144944963124.jpg - (36.80KB , 650x400 , arca-2014-promo-650x400.jpg )
76414
>>76388
Then the sax will make fart noises around ur wiener lol
>> No. 76418
>>76414
That can feel better than you think.

If you're sitting while playing an alto sax or standing while playing a tenor sax, you can aim the low E flat key so that the vibrations of sound open up right onto your junk.
>> No. 76419
>>76418
ghey.
>> No. 76673
MURRAY XMAS 99CHAN.IN


File 145092898782.jpg - (697.06KB , 540x8960 , ZVGEd.jpg )
76634 No. 76634 hide quickreply [Reply]
I enjoy asking for "the usual" at restaurants I've never been to before, just to see what I end up with.
>> No. 76648
What do you normally end up with?
>> No. 76657
Seems like something untrue. The vast majority of wait staff or clerks at restaurants give me the blank stare if I do/say anything they don't immediately understand. Unless I'm at a higher-end restaurant (usually a steakhouse) I get used to treating food service people like they're in the third grade.
>> No. 76659
>>76657
Probably because none of them actually passed third grade.


File 14509502463.jpg - (116.84KB , 729x900 , gum.jpg )
76642 No. 76642 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Is this person blowing a bubble of gum out of their d, or is that supposed to be a condom which has somehow formed a bubble?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76650
As long as it's a sugar-free bubblegum condom. Imagine if it broke and you had to worry about tooth decay as well as HIV.
>> No. 76651
>>76650
Doesn't gum rot your teeth regardless of whether or not it's full of sugar?
>> No. 76652
File 145097892496.jpg - (838.50KB , 1664x1100 , 4e7f81d741558aafeecc1ef4938147bc.jpg )
76652
If it's put on fast enough some air could get caught in there. It could also be inflated a little before putting on.

I don't like dmitrys art too much, the weird thing is he's a great artist with a ballza sense of proportion and could create some nice non-H stuff if he wanted to. I wonder if da Vinci would have just drawn horsecock dgirls fucking twinks if he was born in this time.
>> No. 76654
>>76652
>ballza sense of proportion
...
>> No. 76656
>>76654
You know what I mean. Yeah he draws shit big but it's accurately big. The bodies actually look as they would if a lady actually had a three-foot horse cock.


File 144799423138.jpg - (209.73KB , 905x1280 , me.jpg )
76152 No. 76152 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
SOMEONE TRADE ME FALLOUT NEW VEGAS FOR DARK SOULS ON STEAM PLZ
5 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76216
SOMEONE TRADE ME A DRAGON DILDO FOR A HORSE FLESHLIGHT
>> No. 76355
File 144912475351.jpg - (38.77KB , 600x432 , football.jpg )
76355
FIX VIDEO EMBEDDING, FUCK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqqayXlWL8g
>> No. 76609
File 145081637771.jpg - (9.58KB , 261x160 , nemesisperdeu.jpg )
76609
>>76355
IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THAT SHIT
>> No. 76611
>>76609
Hellraiser is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. And Hellraiser II is hellza ballza too. I haven't seen any of the other sequels (deliberately avoided them before but now I'm starting to think I should just embrace my Hellraiser fandom and watch them all, even the terrible ones).
>> No. 76615
Two Halloweens ago I watched every Hellraiser movie in one sitting, took a bit under 16 hours. I defintely recommend it. While some of the movies aren't exactly "ballza" they're all hellza fun to watch. Some of the latter ones are pretty ballza too, I hellza like the one where the police officer goes crazy, it's like 5 or something. There's also one in space.


File 144695408191.png - (307.88KB , 610x343 , skele.png )
75937 No. 75937 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Hey sloths, recommend stuff that is fun to watch. Anime, horror movies, mexican telenovelas,mixtapes, whatever.

I recommend retard-o-tron and the anime overlord. Go watch overlord. It is hellza fun.
19 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76286
>>76259
Bro, I'm gonna bate. I think I'll bate to granny porn. I love sitting and watching grandmas get fucked while i bate, especially with my 99chan bros.
>> No. 76301
>>76286
Yeah bro. I'm right there with you. homo intended though. We're totally not gay, just a pair of bros jerking out a pair of loads.

Need more lube, dude? High five. homo intended.
>> No. 76302
File 14489367594.jpg - (778.07KB , 2891x2674 , lck75xpca.jpg )
76302
well I have a new favourite wordfilter
>> No. 76347
File 144909949080.png - (721.95KB , 1360x734 , welldone.png )
76347
dunno
>> No. 76610
File 145081660923.jpg - (16.44KB , 388x292 , 387777.jpg )
76610
>>76278
Can I have the sauce of the .gif, if you happen to have the link?


File 145031213421.jpg - (118.08KB , 472x750 , shittyjokes.jpg )
76532 No. 76532 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Why is 99chan's IRC down?
1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76556
What's with all the rhetorical questions these days? Such a waste of keystrokes.
>> No. 76557
>>76556
Why is there an 'h' in the word rhetorical? Don't you think the English language is silly too often?
>> No. 76603
File 145076216111.jpg - (244.40KB , 1280x800 , sadpanda.jpg )
76603
Can we has irc back?
>> No. 76604
File 145076915391.jpg - (98.58KB , 720x960 , 138399766280.jpg )
76604
It's only a few more days until X-MAS don't you think you guys should be more worried about trying to stay sober before the family gathering?
>> No. 76606
>>76604
My family is never sober during the family Christmas gathering. It isn't truly Christmas until Uncle Pat is snoring on the couch.


File 145068756567.gif - (309.47KB , 130x130 , SHODAN.gif )
76601 No. 76601 hide quickreply [Reply]
https://www.othersideentertainment.com/system-shock-3
THEW WAIT IS OVER


File 145041994554.jpg - (28.40KB , 650x366 , gloryhole.jpg )
76549 No. 76549 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
How do glory holes work?

For the hole to be at penis height when you're standing up, wouldn't it have to be at face height when you're sitting down? Meaning that if two guys are trying to shit in stalls next to each other, if they look through the hole, they'll just be looking at each other's faces. Right?
13 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76573
>>76566
In practice one person usually takes on the responsibility of guzzling all the cocks. That person stays put to service all the other ds going in and out the hole.

This system, especially combined with low lighting, almost always guarantees not having to see anyone's face going out the stalls afterward. That guarantees that you won't feel weird about that blowjob until your penis starts to burn later.
>> No. 76574
>>76573

>In practice one person usually takes on the responsibility of guzzling all the cocks. That person stays put to service all the other ds going in and out the hole.

What if the person currently servicing ds gets a tired, sore mouth? Do they switch?
>> No. 76577
>>76573
So they just sit there with their mouth in the hole? What if someone enters the stall next to them and just starts shitting loudly? Then the person with the mouth in the hole would have to eat poopy air.

>> No. 76581
>>76574
>>76577
It ain't an easy job, which is probably why your mom wanted you to go to college, if you had a mom that cared.
>> No. 76587
File 145064513320.jpg - (68.68KB , 800x450 , gloryhole-swallow-kate-sucks-dick.jpg )
76587
>>76577
The etiquette, if torrenting GloryholeSwallow.com videos has taught me anything, is for either party (the sucker or the suckee) to put a finger through the hole like "hello there, interested?" That way they don't have to sit with their gaping maw up to the hole, they can rest between cocks and signal to the next participant if/when they are ready.

Most gloryholes, at least popular ones that are used often, are in my understanding located in adult book stores, theaters, and sex shops in the video booths in the back, not in bathrooms, so the stench of poopy air is not so much an issue. The stank of crusty jizz and unwashed foreskins is probably an issue though.


File 14497999226.jpg - (10.80KB , 282x179 , itunes.jpg )
76446 No. 76446 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
What the fuck is the point of gift cards? Why not just give people money they can spend wherever they want?
13 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76496
>>76494
>Your gram gram gives very sloppy blowjobs
Gam gams head game is tight and ferocious. Not sloppy. She doesn't spill a single drop!
>> No. 76499
>>76496

Gamgam BJ guy?
>> No. 76502
no hands gam gam

hands behind your back

mouth only

mmm thats it
>> No. 76505
I bet gamgams give excellent blowie jowies when they don't have teeth. Gamgams never have teeth, right?
>> No. 76506
>>76505
They couldn't afford teeth during the Depression.


File 145005131415.png - (873.09KB , 900x676 , brain scar.png )
76483 No. 76483 hide quickreply [Reply]
Minor surgery, they said.
>> No. 76484
i went to highschool with a girl with epilepsy and some other conditions - she had some learning disabilities, developmental delays, etc. Anyway, in grade 7 or 8 she had brain surgery to stop her seizures. She was the only student allowed to wear a hat, which she wore every day for months until her hair grew back. I remember this one meathead farmboy being all pissed in class and refusing to take his hat off and making this big fuss about how karly got to wear a hat so he should too and after class everyone got on his case about the fact that karly was wearing a hat because she was bald and had a scar and was, you know, disabled. He looked pretty sheepish. At first I thought he was just being an ass but it turns out he was just stupid.
>> No. 76489
>>76484
You can always tell the Republican voters early.
>> No. 76501
>>76489
topical!


File 144898325494.jpg - (87.89KB , 964x618 , article-2542713-1AD2A17300000578-499_964x618.jpg )
76314 No. 76314 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Are we doing a secret santa this year?
26 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 76459
>>76455
This absurd wordfilter needs some work, but I see what you did there.
>> No. 76460
Jored Roglen
1965-1942
Martial Artist, Pedophile Whoremonger, Sandwich Spokesmodel, Weight Loss Enthusiast, Time Travelling Nazi Fighter Who Killed Nazis with MMA and Meditation, Reality Show Host
"horse power horse power
all this Polo on I got horse power"
- 2 Chainz
RIP
>> No. 76461
people always talk about the bare facts of Joerd Foglen's life, but only his many many child lovers know who he truly is as a kind, gentile soul who wanted nothing more than to scare the shit out of people.
>> No. 76462
Clearly it's the relative lack of puberty-accelerating growth hormones in Subway meats.

"The sandwich that gives you less tits less fast!"

delicious flat bread
>> No. 76463
>>76459
I used a perl script to inject the entire nadsat dictionary into the wordfilter and it worked too much. Turns out 600 filters ruins the idea of legibility. I'll redo it once I wake up from this pnuemonia induced coma.


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