5 -FEMINISM RULES/RUINS EVERYTHING!
Why don't you make a mod where you chan have Zelda as a girl? Oh, forgot that you are too lazy and don't have any time left after shitting things up on tumblr.

4 – NINTENDO WILL RETCON ALL THE GAMES!
If Nintendo retcons the games, there is a risk that they will retcon Zelda 2 too. That game was so bad that it was omitted from Nintendo's 25th anniversary ads. Or, even worse; Nintendo will only retcon Zelda 2

3 – ZELDA HAS BEEN A BOY FOR OVER 25 YEARS!
Remember the first game? Remember the manual? Zelda was a little boy without pants. He just strutted along in ignorant pant-free bliss. How old was he then? Probably, 12-17. That would make him 40-45 years old today. Don't you know how hons looks? Transition at a late age is simply horrible.

2 - ?????
Don't know any reason. But Zelda can't be a girl! He just can't.

1 – IF ZELDA IS A GIRL, THEN NO BOIPUSSY!
Admit it! You want it. Because if 2D is better than 3D, how can three holes be better than two? Checkmate, feminists!

(THIS IS THE WORST POST EVER MADE)